Anxiety is crippling me

[OddBallNumber5]

Just as it says really. Had a massive meltdown at work today as I’m on a fixed term contract and not sure whether it’ll be extended.

Some background: perimenopausal so been on HRT for three months; already take 40mg Citalopram per day; have always had confidence issues despite having a Master’s degree; feeling overweight and overwhelmed. Eldest DS has ASD. I work full time from and DH is full time with two nights a week working away leaving me with 2 primary aged children. No real regular support from Grandparents..

I’ve also been a worrier and anxious. I have OCD and check everything before bed and find it hard to switch off, thinking bad things will happen. I pull my hair when I’m stressed, can’t think of the scientific name for it.

Line manager told me to make an appointment with my GP today. No point as it’d take two weeks at least to see a human. I’m already on maximum tablets and waiting list for therapy is months. I’m reluctant to be signed off as I’m on a fixed term contract until June which I desperately hope will be renewed. I am a teacher but cannot face returning to the classroom with all the stress that brings and frankly that’s the reason I left. My confidence is at an all time low and I just feel washed out.

I’ve started doing some small exercise once per week which I enjoy but I am so tired of the constant hamster wheel. I’m worried that if I get signed off then I’ll be less likely to keep my job.

Not sure what I’m asking for to be honest. How do you manage severe anxiety?

You can try doing an online AQ50 questionnaire and then take the results of that to your GP if you want to pursue an assessment for autism.

Autistic females present very differently to the autistic stereotype which was based solely on males. Females tend to be much higher masking and a lot of what we struggle with we internalise so it's harder to spot, but still very impactful.

I'm not saying you are autistic but it's common to have multiple other diagnosis and autism does have a strong genetic link.

Understanding my autism and managing all of my social, sensory and communication stressor has really helped me to stay out of autistic shutdown and I'm much kinder to myself now that I understand all of this.

Apologies if I've lent too heavily into the possibility of autism, I have just found it something of a revelation for me.

Autistic or not, you don't need a label to be kind to yourself and advocate for breaks and restorative spaces.

No need to apologise Butterfly. I’ve often wondered it myself especially since my DS’ diagnosis.

Thank you.

I really feel for you with the school mum issue. I'm glad she's apologised, but that kind of thing can be really hard, especially when it's infront of everyone. Go easy on yourself. X

Read Claire weekes books or listen to her on YouTube.

There’s been an apology but also a lot of defending herself. So an apology in one breath but also a ‘woe is me’ and I now look really bad.

Work line manager has also told me to get a GP note as I’m not fit to work.

How do you feel about that?

Maybe some time out would be helpful. It definitely sounds like some sort of a break is needed.

I’m ok with it. Just can’t get the WA parent conversation out of my head!

this is totally left field. but try mounjaro? it is not cheap but really good for weight loss and inflammation and some people find it good for mood.

I suppose I'm scared of any potential side-effects of anti-depressants, but that might just be my anxiety talking. I'm kind of used to depression at this point, it's the anxiety bothering me more atm. See I think if I could get propanolol I'd feel a lot calmer but I suppose doctor wants to treat the initial cause, but that could take years figuring that out/fixing it! He does seem to think antidepressants will help but I dunno. I just think there's so many different types as well, the only thing I've heard is consistently working for people is Sertraline, but knowing my luck he won't prescribe that.

He most definitely will prescribe sertraline because this is often the first line of defence for anxiety. I'd encourage you to consider it.

@Catza oh that's good to know-I will ask about it next time, I've heard good things about it whenever it's been mentioned.