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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want father of child staying at Christmas?

3 replies

chanel00005 · 18/12/2024 11:57

Basically my 11 year relationship with my child's father has been awful for the last year following the birth of our child.

He had really been awful and not supportive at all.
Most days he will pick fault at me, critisize me and most often he would raise his voice to me, basically terrorising me in my own home.

We live separately anyway (he does not have a key to my home) I moved about 2 months ago to be closer to family.

I have posted about him before and took the advice and left him for good.

He isn't a father to our child at all, he has no input in parenting but is quick to tell me what to do.
I have not been able to see friends/family since the birth of our child who is now a toddler.
The arguments would be mainly that he could not just drop everything and go see his awful brother.

Last three weekends he has been out and on one of those weekends he was supposed to be looking after our child and because his brother wanted to see him before he flew out for Christmas it never happened and I had to cancel my plans as I couldn't arrange childcare at such short notice.

I seriously hurt my back last week, as in it extremely hurt to pick our child up and it was so painful, the dr said I have pulled a muscle.
He knew this and still went out, I struggled massively and was in a lot of pain.

I have told him I do not want him coming here for Christmas Day and he will have to make alternative arrangements.
He is now being nice because his brother has flown out.
But if his brother was here he would be saying "I am going to my brothers for Christmas".

I am going to my parents anyway for Christmas and they do not want him coming.

I do feel bad for our son who will want to see his dad but every time he is in the house he will raise his voice over something, put me down and I am not tolerating this.

OP posts:
CaptainAwkward · 18/12/2024 12:01

Why do you have anything to do with him?

Well done for getting out but I certainly wouldn’t be doing this abusive twat any favours

Please tell me he’s not on the birth certificate?

Also, have you spoke to anyone about his abusive behaviour?
Wishing you a peaceful Christmas without him

Festivespirit85 · 18/12/2024 12:53

For a start, stop having him in your home. When he is seeing his son it needs to be elsewhere.

WEB83 · 18/12/2024 13:33

Does he take your son to his own house at all? You maybe need to set some boundaries and tell him that you’re not comfortable with him being in your home - you’re not stopping him from seeing his son, but he needs to collect him (or you drop him off) and he has contact with the little one independently of you.

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