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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to tell my prospective employer about a likely move?

20 replies

needajobandfast · 01/05/2008 11:51

I was made redundant this week. i knew it was coming, so I signed up to an agency four months ago. However, the agency has been unbelievably slow and this week sent me a letter telling me they had sent me the wrong OccHealth forms (I had returned these, dated 11th feb, so it took them over two months to figure this out) and i needed to complete new ones. So i have no job, no money, three kids and a mortage to keep. DH does work but it won't cover our costs. So, in desperation, I asked a local care home if they had any work going - they did, were clearly desperate and interviewed me there and then and have offered me the job. However, due to DH's work, we will be moving to the other end of the country in August. Our financial situation will change when we move, due to DH's job, so I will not need to work then. i have not told my new employers about this move as I thought it would jepodise my chances of getting the job, but now I feel very guilty. Should i tell them?

OP posts:

WonkyAngel · 01/05/2008 11:57

It's a tough one, but we were in the same situation.

My dh got made redundant in November. We knew we were moving to South Africa in April. We needed money to come into the house so he didn't tell his new employer that we will be moving.

He felt guilty at the time and really wanted to tell his prospective employer, as a moral duty.

I said that his moral duty (in this instance) should be to his family and right now we need money for food and living and my wage wouldn't cover it.

So he didn't tell them. And we ate.

WonkyAngel · 01/05/2008 11:58

You have to do what's best for you family.

Original poster

needajobandfast · 01/05/2008 12:03

Thank you so much, I had thought this through in my head and thought i had to do what was best for my family, but was feeling terrible when i was there. How did his employers take it when he did tell them?

OP posts:

Chequers · 01/05/2008 12:18

Message withdrawn

minouminou · 01/05/2008 12:23

keep schtum and get some cash
good for you for getting the job

Original poster

needajobandfast · 01/05/2008 12:26

Thanks again - phew don't feel quite so bad now!

OP posts:

WonkyAngel · 01/05/2008 12:27

Ah, needajob, I told my employer we were moving in February, but didn't have a date. They were brilliant, they had lots of time to get a replacement who I could then train up and they appreciated my honesty.

My dh, spurred by my employers reaction, told his in March and they made him redundant the very next day. Apparantly we have a good case for unfair dismassal or something but we're not going to bother.

It worked out in the end though, he got only 1 week's pay when he was made redundant, but 2 weeks later they asked him to do them a favour with some spreadsheets (the same ones they said there was no job for which was the reason for his redundancy) and offered to give him a month's wage in return.

Original poster

needajobandfast · 01/05/2008 12:44

Goodness!! Glad it all worked out in the end for you, wonky. Hope your move went well, too.

OP posts:

EffiePerine · 01/05/2008 12:50

That's the type of job where they're not expecting you to stay long-term. Don't worry about it - you're helping them out for a few months for which they will be grateful

WonkyAngel · 01/05/2008 12:56

We've not moved yet. Will be flying next week! Eeekk!! I've still got so much to do!
So not organised!!

bringmesunshine · 01/05/2008 13:02

good luck with the move we are moving to SA next year So much to organise

hatwoman · 01/05/2008 13:09

what;s your notice period? if you want to assuage your guilt you could maybe give them a couple of extra weeks' notice. but it really doesn;t sound like you are going to be causing them any grief at all. and in any case there's always an element of doubt about things like moving - until you're literally on your way. so you can, with reasonable honesty tell them you didn;t want to say anything until it was totally definite.

I used to work in care homes - long long ago. it can be a rewarding job - if you have decent colleagues (unfortunately, when I did it, not all of mine were all that decent, tbh, they took the piss a bit and didn;t really seem to like looking after people ). but it's definitely a worth while job - way better than temping in some random office. imho.

WonkyAngel · 01/05/2008 13:16

** Quick Highjack - Hi bringmesunshine! (waves manically) I remember you from my mil thread! You're going to Cape Town aren't you?

bringmesunshine · 01/05/2008 13:20

Yes cup of coffee on offer for you next year in C/T....I know you will be in Jo'Burg but theres always the holidays

Dare I ask how is MIL?

Original poster

needajobandfast · 01/05/2008 13:21

Hi,I don't know my notice period. i got given my conditions of appointment today, but notice period wasn't on it and I can't ask having just been offered the job!! I worked in care homes as well and am looking forward to doing some hands on care. Yes, we are still not 100% sure we are moving (although what we are waiting for is more of a formailty) so i did think i could honestly tell them that it was definate at the time. Thanks for the advice!

OP posts:

WonkyAngel · 01/05/2008 13:36

I'm glad you feel better about it needajob. Sorry for the highjacking by me and bringmesunshine!

Just one more teeny little highjack - Coffee sounds great bms!! I'll probably not be on mn for a couple of months till we sort ourselves out, but am planning on returning! Might change my name to 'Iamsunshine', or 'hereyougobringmesunshine'!

Original poster

needajobandfast · 01/05/2008 13:40

Don't worry about it, wonky! hope it all goes well x

OP posts:

bringmesunshine · 01/05/2008 13:50

sorry needajob my manners have deserted me....

I think you are doing the right thing by the way you have to look after your family at the end of the day....don't worry about it

Original poster

needajobandfast · 01/05/2008 13:56

seriously, it's fine! Hope things go well for you both and thanks for your post - feel much better about it now

OP posts:

smurfgirl · 01/05/2008 14:51

YANBU I think care homes have a very high staff turn over anyway so they will probably not be that surprised that you only stay a short while.

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