To not tell my kids??

[bloomingbonkerz]

Found a lump and been told I potentially could have thyroid/throat cancer I haven’t told my children as I don’t want to worry them and I won’t get results till after Christmas anyways? They are grown up and have their own families (oldest had been telling me to go to GP regarding this issue) when she asked how it had gone I said fine no problems and I’m sure will stay this way but now I’ve effectively lied to her as she’s health phobic with good reasons due to her daughter having issues (none life threatening)
my main reason is after the year we have had I don’t want to spoil their Christmas for probably no reason.

Big hug first.
That's a shock and having to wait for results is endless. I'm assuming you've had all the tests/scans/consultations?
Tbh, this bit is agony; yoou try not to let your mind wander, but it does. But I was more concerned about other people's reactions, because while I was quite fatalistic, I knew that family and friends seem to take such news worse than the patient!
So, I would say nothing until you know the results, particularly if your daughter has health anxiety. You haven't lied to her because at the moment, it is fine. You're in a Schroedinger's cat situation.
Tell you DH/P (if present), and maybe your best friend. Please try not to catastophise (easier said than done), and DO NOT go onto any (specialised or otherwise) forums . They will tell you that you'll be dead in 10 mins oor live to be 177...
Best wishes

I don’t know what others will say but I would keep quiet until I knew for sure. I personally wouldn’t want to worry others until I knew exactly what I was dealing with. With the exception of my husband, I would shared with him.

Have a nice Christmas, enjoy and fingers crossed the results are nothing to worry about and you all had a lovely Christmas and you were right.

They may be upset you didn’t share the information sooner, but at this point sharing won’t change or speed anything up it will only spread concern and worry. If nothing comes of it amazing, if the worst happens no one will care about the time waiting for the results they will only care about next steps.

I know it’s easier said than done, try and enjoy Christmas and time with your family.

I think outright lying when asked is unfair on them. I get not bringing it up but if asked a light “GP has sorted some tests after a Christmas to check all is ok” would be better in my opinion.

I think just say that they're going to look into it for you. That would put my mind at rest I think, knowing it was being investigated. My parents never share any health stuff and my imagination can go into overdrive not knowing!

I wouldn't have lied, I'd have just said "oh won't have the results for a while yet but I feel OK at the moment".

I don't think you're doing the wrong thing to keep quiet until you've got the results. I probably wouldn't even have told them about the tests at all.

My relative has been very ill in hospital recently. Not saying I'd rather not have known he was ill at all, but knowing the ins and outs on a daily basis wasn't practically useful (as I could do nothing) and just caused a lot of emotional stress because it was a real rollercoaster ever day. Fortunately he recovered well, but in a way that means the stress was pointless. If it were my child, I'd have wanted to protect them from that unless I really needed the support from them.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. I didn't even tell my husband until I knew for sure there was something to worry about and he didn't come to any of my appointments until the one where I was told my result.

For me - part of it was because I didn't want to worry him and part of it was self-preservation. I knew he would fuss over me and I really didn't want that at the time.

I don't blame you at all for not telling your children, but it would have been better
to have said you were waiting for results I think. Too late now, so no point in worrying about it. You can let them know after Christmas, when you know for definite what you are facing.

Very best wishes to you, and I hope all goes as well as possible.

Sending love and kisses, I hope you get the news you want.

Don't feel bad - it's a white lie. Give everyone a wonderful Christmas and deal with the news once you get it. No point passing on the worry to everyone or they'll spend the whole time crying.

Big hug x

I agree with you. Especially if your daughter is prone to worry. I hope you can have a nice Christmas and then once you have your results back you can talk to everyone properly. Agree with PP to have some one to talk to for you, a good friend maybe. Someone who won't blab.

Also agree with you @bloomingbonkerz you have said it out of love. Good luck for the results, try to enjoy Christmas as much as you can Xxx

Thank you everyone for the messages I’ve been at work and no phones allowed but I really appreciate it and am keeping fingers crossed 🤞