Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To expect coach driver to put buggy in luggage hold for me at bus stop as I have hands full with baby/bag?

32 replies

Norfolkbumpkin · 01/05/2008 11:26

I live in the sticks and have a 15 minute walk to the main road to get a bus into the city as I can't drive. I attempted to get on the coach thet pulled up this morning but the driver said I could not bring the stroller on, I would have to put it in the luggage hold on the outside of the bus. He then along with the passengers just looked at me expectantly. Tears started to well up in my eyes and I just got off, very humiliated mumbling that I couldn't manage to do that with a baby strapped to my front and a large bag. I went home and phoned the bus operators' complaints line, and have been advised that the drivers' aren't allowed to leave their seats to help as it would leave the bus,passengers and fare money vulnerable.They also (for health and safety reasons) aren't allowed to assist as they might injure themselves. I queried the fact that none of the luggage in the hold would be secure if a passenger didn't close the door correctly, and assumed that like with most large commercial vehicles the driver is responsible for securing his load. The operator said she could understand my frustrations but they are the rules. I'm gutted as it means depending on the type of bus that arrives at the stop, I won't be able to get on and have trekked up there for nothing.

OP posts:

Dynamicnanny · 01/05/2008 11:30

Could you not have put your bag on the bus then put the buggy in the hold. How old is your baby could you have sat him on a chair or on the floor, for a minutes

Original poster

Norfolkbumpkin · 01/05/2008 11:36

dd is 7.5 months old and doesn't sit up yet. I haven't mastered the art of assembling/folding up a buggy whilst holding baby. Things were a hell of a lot easier when dd was smaller as I didn't need to use a pushchair, I just carried her in a sling. Now she is heavier I just can't manage a whole day of carrying. It's obviously much easier to use public transport when you have a toddler who is able to stand whilst you sort out the buggy, but as she is still small it is such a faff.

OP posts:

misdee · 01/05/2008 11:39

couldnt you have handed her to someone on the bus (even the driver?). and then put the buggy in the hold?

for bus journeys i would advise getting a small stroller that is easier t fold down. i like maclarens, its one foot to lift the back plate up, and then same foot to release, it, push it all down so it locks together.

very light and easy to fold. can do it one handed as well.

Earlybird · 01/05/2008 11:42

I know how difficult it can be to get yourself organised for an 'outing' with a baby - and then to be met by unhelpful people is horrid. I well remember that creeping 'hot flash' when I felt unable to cope with simple/new things related to being a Mum. But, you've got to figure out a new/different way of doing things now you've got a baby.

Since having my dd, I have learned that sometimes I must open my mouth and ask for help. Of course, I'd prefer to do things on my own but sometimes it isn't possible. Maybe next time you could say something like "I'm not sure how to manage that. What would you suggest?" or "Can you or someone else help me?" You might be pleasantly surprised - certainly in London, it was no trouble to take dd on the tube because people always/routinely offered to help me carry the pushchair down the stairs - they'd just grasp one end and we'd shuffle crab-like down the stairs.

Obviously, the Bus company have rules for the drivers. And you are certainly not the first Mum to have encountered this dilemma - so there must be a way! I'm sure once you figure out how to manage, future outings will be straightforward.

SheikYerbouti · 01/05/2008 11:46

Agree with Earlybird.

It's horrible to be in that situation - biut you have to be more vocal. I'm sure there's old dears on the bus who would be glad to hold your lovely baby for a couple of moments while you gets the buggy sorted.

Have a cupf tea and some chocolate and tray again this afternoon.

bozza · 01/05/2008 11:47

I think misdee is right. DD is definitely old enough for one of the easy macalarens. I would get one and practice a few times with DD in sling and bag on shoulder (or maybe rucksack?) and then go for it again.

Sorry this happened to you though.

misdee · 01/05/2008 11:49

it does get easier. honestly.

i didnt drive untill dd3 was 6months old. so have used buses a lot.

usually old ladies love to hold a cuddly little baby for a few minutes. look for the ones that are already pulling funny faces at your baby and cooing.

MrsCarrot · 01/05/2008 11:54

I used to do long bus and train journeys a lot when ds1 was a baby. You will get people offering to help sometimes but other times you have to struggle, so you need to be equipped so that you can manage on your own.

Like others have said, you need a fold up buggy that you can do with one hand whilst having a large bag over the other shoulder and baby on your hip. If you have more bags ask someone on the bus to hold them a second but if you're not happy with that it is possible to manage, put bags on first etc. They will wait for you.

It is hard sometimes, and upsetting if you felt stranded but you will get used to managing.

Original poster

Norfolkbumpkin · 01/05/2008 11:55

I have got a cosatto lula stoller weighing 5 kilos. We bought the lightest stroller we could find knowing that I would be using it on the bus. Thanks for the advice earlybird on opening my mouth, when I am not so upset about it I will try again and make a point of asking. I think part of the problem is that the bus is always nearly full and the passengers just want to get going to their destination. When dd was very young the bus stopped for me to get off, but because I had to move from my seat at the back of the bus and try to weave through all the standing passengers the driver pulled out and carried on going. I had to wait to get off at the next stop in the next village which was miles from my house. Dh had to leave work to come and get us in the car. Since that episode I haven't been very confident on the buses.

OP posts:

Bensonbluebird · 01/05/2008 11:56

There are so many new things to get used to when you have a small baby, I often find myself thinking through how I'm physically going to manage. Like Earlybird says asking for help is a good idea, it dosen't mean that you are incompetant! there is bound to be some other mum on the bus who remembers being in exactly the same state.

I'm lucky in that most of the buses I take you can just wheel the buggy on, but when I do have to get a bus where you can't do that I make sure I'm prepared at the bus stop. Baby in sling, backpack on back so that I have both hands free, buggy ready folded (and toddler briefed to hand over money and hold on in case the bus moves off before we're settled).

Don't let it stop you going out!

MrsCarrot · 01/05/2008 11:56

It can be stressful if the bus is full, but you have a right to get on as well and if no-one helps then they will just have to wait a little longer!

Original poster

Norfolkbumpkin · 01/05/2008 11:59

I does annoy me 'though that once I get into the city and the travel out again to visit family/go to baby groups in other villages all the buses have drop floors.

OP posts:

Earlybird · 01/05/2008 12:02

Norfolk - I used to be like you - didn't want to trouble/inconvenience anyone. Since having dd, I have become much more personally assertive. If a bus driver starts to pull away from my stop before I have had a chance to get off, now I just shout "stop please, getting off!"

I sometimes cringe at making a 'spectacle' of myself, but would rather cringe a bit than end up miles away from where I want to be!

Chequers · 01/05/2008 12:15

Message withdrawn

MrsCarrot · 01/05/2008 12:20

Yes, I remember that, weaving your way down the bus well before the stop or they whizzed past!

scottishmummy · 01/05/2008 12:23

it is so hard public transport and baby.it literally takes a few maneouvres to get right.and with your lo being so young not unable to stand/hold on whilst you fold

i get flustered if folk hump and tut. the tutting crescendo imapirs any ability to do the task!

occasionally kind people help, unfortunately that is the exception rather than the rule

scottishmummy · 01/05/2008 12:23

it is so hard public transport and baby.it literally takes a few maneouvres to get right.and with your lo being so young not unable to stand/hold on whilst you fold

i get flustered if folk hump and tut. the tutting crescendo imapirs any ability to do the task!

occasionally kind people help, unfortunately that is the exception rather than the rule

catsmother · 01/05/2008 13:41

What is the matter with people FFS ?!

There must have been a fair few able-bodied witnesses watching you attempt to board the bus ...... they should be ashamed of themselves for being so callous and unhelpful. I appreciate these days people might be wary of offering to hold your baby but surely someone could have helped fold the buggy up and put it in the hold ?

Bumdiddley · 01/05/2008 14:48

I hate jobsworth bus drivers! Aren't they human beings before they are bus drivers???

Similar thing happened to me once. The bus was heaving and there were already buggies in the allocated space. I was damned if i was going to wait for another bus. Luckily, someone offered to carry dd (6mo) while i wrestled with the buggy (which was actaully an easily foldable one

Don't take any shit and try again tomorrow, take your sweet time and smile at everyone. Good luck.

mymblemummy · 02/05/2008 02:18

Poor you. I also use public transport all the time and I have very unpleasant memories of manhandling pushchairs on buses and trains, or up and down flights of steps with my first baby. Helpful people are few and far between.

This time I'm going to try not to use a buggy at all. I go everywhere with my son in a sling. He's six months and pretty big for his age, so much so he's already outgrown the Baby Bjorn Active I was using.

So I bought a new sling, not from a mainstream store, but one designed by mothers for use with older babies and toddlers. I'm delighted with it. It is very comfortable, easily put on and adjusted, and I can, and have worn it for hours at a time with no discomfort.

Mine is a SleepyNico carrier available from:
www.sleepynico.com

And there are lots of others from specialist sellers. You might want to take a look at this site also for advice and to try some out:
www.slingmeet.co.uk

kayzisexpecting · 02/05/2008 06:47

My dad lives in Norfolk and gets the bus from King's Lynn to Peterborough about once a month and the driver has always gotten of the bus to help people put any luggage they have in the luggage hold.

Maybe different buses have different rules.

BouncingTurtle · 02/05/2008 07:08

I agree with catsmother I am and no-one bothered to help you, I certainly would have. I remember being on London Underground, a lady was struggling with a baby, toddler and pushchair, DH and I offered to help her, DH took her buggy and the toddler was directed to hold my hand down the escalator. I think she could see I was safe as I was about 25 weeks pg at the time. She was so grateful, and her liitle girl was adorable. I would have helped you out, and now I'm a mum with a young baby I would hope that others do the same if I was struggling.
Sadly I think the milk of human kindness is in decline.

Original poster

Norfolkbumpkin · 02/05/2008 10:06

Thanks mymblemummy for the links to the sling sites. I have been given a secondhand baby bjorn which is what I am squeezing dd into whilst I manhandle the stroller. I definitely need something bigger for her as it is really a bit small. I honestly believed the blurb that strollers were a doddle to fold etc, maybe I need a bit more practice as currently it is definitely a two handed job to fold up. I was gobsmacked when the lady I spoke to at First Bus suggested that I could perhaps ask a friend or neighbour to go with me to the bus stop to hold dd whilst I got bugged loaded etc. I pointed out that I don't have any family in my village and I didn't think any of the neighbours I knew would be too keen on a long walk to the bus stop as most of them are elderly and the remainder work all day.

OP posts:

Bensonbluebird · 02/05/2008 10:26

I'm glad someone else put up a couple of links to sling sites as I meant to do that. I use a ring sling which is great because it packs up really small but is comfortable to carry a bigger baby in for really quite a long time. Bought it from Brightspark. I also have a soft backpack that you can use before the baby is sitting by kipling that I bought on ebay for about £7. This disadvantage of this is that then you have to carry both a bag and the baby!

Good luck

black31cat · 02/05/2008 10:59

I had the same problem with my Loola stroller when my ds was younger - they weight a ton, are hard to assemble and are a right PITA on buses, so you have my total sympathy. My only solution was to ditch the Loola and get a lightweight stroller. I got a mamas and papas Zoom from a local discount buggies store and i swear by it.
Oh and at the ignorant passengers who didn't help.

Flip

1 2