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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that children who spend most their childhoods in hospital should have access to mental health support

20 replies

thecherryfox · 17/12/2024 23:36

I was a severely unwell child and as a result, I was say I spent at least 1/3 of my childhood living in hospital. I have severe chronic pain which I was born with, which means I have no idea what life without being in pain is like. I remember living in hospital and going under so many surgeries as a kid. Being in agony, being prodded on a day to day basis. Being on medication which made my hair fall out, made my head foggy and caused severe hallucinations. Being in pain. Never being a ‘real’ child.

I was depressed from 5 years old, the constant battle with my health made me so mentally unwell too. But no one seemed to care about the impact it had on my mental health - it was only about making my physical health ‘better’. I cannot imagine how many other children and teens go through this with no mental support guiding them through it. I’m in my late 20’s now and still struggling without support, it just makes me upset that at the very least children should have mh support allocated that to them.

I think any child staying in hospital on a ward, regardless the length of time should see a child physiologist to speak to them without a parent present (I would have lied if my mum was there out of embarrassing her with a ‘taboo’ subject). Then continue to visit at least once a week to aid with the mental aspect of being an unwell child. A questionnaire for a child to fill out, making it ‘fun’ but having questions to know what is going through their head. Help put in place to help the child when leaving the hospital each time, I struggled with that and going back into the real world. Having someone visit in your home to ensure you’re settling in and aid that transition.

OP posts:
Tittat50 · 17/12/2024 23:41

This is Dreamland right now. I am in hospital all the time, even the most basic care needs are a luxury. The system is in freefall and it's terrifying to the extent many people who are severely ill would risk alot to just stay home.

I think you're so right in how important that is. What you went through must have been so tough and traumatic for you. The reality of healthcare and humans in general is quite scary to fully realise; dealing with this as a child, terrifying. I hope you're in an ok place right now 💐

Zone2NorthLondon · 17/12/2024 23:42

No
lets not pathologise every event. A week in hospital isn’t necessarily catastrophic and doesn’t require an intervention
Psychiatry and mental health are over whelmed with work and referrals for the SMI without introducing well children who’ve had a hospital stay

DooDahFlumps · 17/12/2024 23:45

Zone2NorthLondon · 17/12/2024 23:42

No
lets not pathologise every event. A week in hospital isn’t necessarily catastrophic and doesn’t require an intervention
Psychiatry and mental health are over whelmed with work and referrals for the SMI without introducing well children who’ve had a hospital stay

OP didn’t say a week in hospital. They are taking about children who spend large chunks of time in hospital. Of course that requires MH support

DaftyLass · 17/12/2024 23:47

So if you are in overnight for a basic tonsillectomy or something, you should be funded for mental health assessment?
Can you imagine what that would cost? Is there even that much support available for kids who are long term suffering?

TheSandgroper · 18/12/2024 07:25

@DaftyLass @Zone2NorthLondon When the OP says “one THIRD of my childhood “ was spent in hospital, I think she means “more than a tonsillectomy “.

@thecherryfox I agree with you. Hospital life is not a substitute for normality and your normality would be very different to many others.

Tlaloc999 · 18/12/2024 07:29

Why do people not read the OP before commenting?

Poster is clearly referring to those who have spent MOST of their childhood in hospital.

Nameychangington · 18/12/2024 07:32

No one wants to pay the tax it'd take to fund that. Children who've attempted suicide get bumped off CAMHS list, MH care is essentially non existent for many people.

It's a nice idea but the general public don't want to pay for it and are constantly being told that the NHS burns money so I can't see it happening.

Eenameenadeeka · 18/12/2024 07:34

Absolutely they should. I think we've learnt a lot about mental health in a short time. I'm a similar age to you, and I don't think there was any support or awareness for mental health that there seems to be now.
When I had a baby in NICU there were some organisations to support parents but we had to reach out and I do think it should be automatic for people spending extended periods in hospital care- it will be traumatic for almost everyone so they should definitely be screening and supporting. I'm sorry that you had to experience all of that as a child, I hope that you are able to find some support to process your experiences now.

Zanatdy · 18/12/2024 07:37

Long term or frequent stays yes, but not one off short stays. I have had a lot of admissions as an adult, including a 3wks stay, 2wks in ICU and it was horrific, but I feel if I need some help with that, PTSD for example, i’d be expecting to pay for that.

Catza · 18/12/2024 07:39

Tlaloc999 · 18/12/2024 07:29

Why do people not read the OP before commenting?

Poster is clearly referring to those who have spent MOST of their childhood in hospital.

We are reading the post properly. OP quite clearly said a child who stays on a ward "for any length of time" which naturally includes anywhere from zero to infinity hours.

Jeeeeez · 18/12/2024 07:55

Some specialties have psychologists as part of their team, burns, type 1 diabetes, rheumatology for example, because of the massive impact on the child and family. But largely it’s down to lack of funding. There is no money for mental health.

Ivymedication · 18/12/2024 08:50

Children who do spend a long time in hospital or who have major operations DO get referrals to CAHMS. At least here, and we have the longest waiting lists for everything in the UK.
But DS and other children I know were treated quickly and with absolute compassion, using as many sessions as needed not just a 6 week block.
DS has been 4 different times as well, for spending long times in hospital and for life changing surgeries. I really cannot complain how he has been treated.

On the other hand I have experienced trauma at the hands of the same trust, they offered counselling, when I took them up on the offer - they denied offering it.

Leavesonthewashingline · 18/12/2024 08:56

Proper psychological support for children, particularly children who spend long periods in hospital, would be so worthwhile.

Isnt it astonishing that a pp says (not unreasonably in our country!) that they would expect to pay for psych support, yet my retired parents see it as their right to have paracetamol on prescription… Why is it that mental health is so so so consistently undervalued?? It matters to us all SO MUCH.

PontiacFirebird · 18/12/2024 09:04

Jesus I can't actually believe some of the responses...
Yes, of course the mental health of children spending large chunks of their childhood in hospital/ being ill should be looked after.
It's a scandal that nowadays only motivated, financially able families can access mental health care for their children. Children are being let down very badly, and the knock on effects got us as a society are dire.
Sorry all that happened to you OP. I hope you are doing a bit better now?

Hoolahoophop · 18/12/2024 10:09

Some places do. I think it depends on your trust and how well supported it is. I have a child who is under the care of Great Ormond Street. Not only has DC been offered psychological support but so have we as parents. Though I would say that their elder sibling is the one who has been damaged the most by our prolonged stays in hospital. So far we have covered the costs for that care ourselves.

Lengthy stays in hospital, and the massive stress for everyone involved are definitely damaging. None of us have come out unscathed.

WhitegreeNcandle · 18/12/2024 10:12

There was a very good episode of Life Changing on BBC sounds with Sian Williams that dealt with this exact subject very sensitively. I have no experience of this but found the episode very thought provoking. Do take a listen, I think you might find it useful.

anniegun · 18/12/2024 10:16

Every child who needs mental health support should get it. Not just if they have had... (whatever)

DaniMontyRae · 18/12/2024 10:30

DooDahFlumps · 17/12/2024 23:45

OP didn’t say a week in hospital. They are taking about children who spend large chunks of time in hospital. Of course that requires MH support

She said for a child on a hospital ward for any length of time. That could be a day, 3 days, a week etc. I would agree with her about children with ongoing conditions requiring lengthy or numerous hospital stays but just a simple admittance to a ward should not mean a child needs to see a psychologist.

Hoolahoophop · 18/12/2024 10:47

anniegun · 18/12/2024 10:16

Every child who needs mental health support should get it. Not just if they have had... (whatever)

Absolutely agree with this.

However sadly that is a big goal and seems to be difficult to achieve, vulnerable children in a hospital setting are easy to identify and easy to get access to. So it would be a good place to start at least.

Zone2NorthLondon · 18/12/2024 13:25

DooDahFlumps · 17/12/2024 23:45

OP didn’t say a week in hospital. They are taking about children who spend large chunks of time in hospital. Of course that requires MH support

No
a hospital inpatient admission long or short doesn’t require automatically require a mental health review
assessment is offered were clinically indicated not on duration or frequency of admission
Think about it, Paediatric nephrology , children attending frequently for treatment they don’t all need a mental health assessment

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