To not understand people who don’t appreciate things

[Putanotherlogonthefire]

Or am I just fairly easily pleased?

Talking to a colleague about Christmas. They are going to a hot, exotic place, family around.
They are a wealthy family, 2.4 children, private schools, pool, strong marriage, good family and social life, good health and careers.
Not much excitement about it from said colleague, a lot of complaining about the length of flight and time of day
I understand life is hard and there are things we don’t know about in people’s lives, also money isnt everything. Having gone through a lot in life, I absolutely appreciate the small things, don’t have anywhere near their amount of money or opportunities they do, I’m sure i’d be excited and over the moon to be going away.
I see it around me a lot, Christmas and new year and some members of family complaining about so many things. To me, i’m off work, there’s food, drink, presents, we’re spending time together, why can’t we enjoy and try to appreciate it?

I’m no Pollyanna type, but aibu to appreciate small things and to feel fortunate for so many things that others may not have and to just try to enjoy life?

Anyone? :)

I agree op - got no time for first world problems!

I agree OP. Being grateful and satisfied with the simple things in life is another thing to be grateful for. I'm far from a Pollyanna type either.

Eckhart Tolle says "wanting always wants", I think he's right.

Agree, OP. At the moment, there's a woman in my village who is whinging about Christmas non-stop.

"It's cold, it's dark, it's expensive, I'm tired."

She is filthy rich (genuinely), presents no issue, everything bought and wrapped by the kids Nanny. Whingewhingefuckingwhinge. She spent half an hour yesterday complaining about how she really wanted to go on holiday this year but she can't because the kids complained. Then moaned some more because I am.

To Norway. To a cold country. Where I own a house because it's my DH's home village. It's not a holiday. 🤦‍♀️ Fuck me. Meanwhile I'm juggling work, presents, decorating, preparing (I absolutely love it, don't get me wrong! And DH does 50/50!). Like bloody hell. Get a grip!

Perhaps he's got some awareness that he is going on a very privileged trip and is trying to tone it down a bit by saying that the journey is quite long etc.

Or perhaps it's just boring and they genuinely don't fancy the long flight. Personally I wouldn't either and would rather be at home for Christmas. And as you said good career they presumably work hard and pay for their holidays, why do they have to act all ' privileged ' about it. Could be any number of things you don't know why they are not looking forward to it 🤷‍♀️

I’m not saying they have to act all privileged about it, but why bother booking and paying for it if you’d rather stay at home

Because maybe the others want to go so they feel obliged?

I do know what you mean though but that's because I'm fortunate enough to have an optimistic personality, and I can't help but see the good in everything. My parents were also optimistic and I think it rubbed off on all of us.

But that sort of life is just some people's 'normal', as much as it looks wonderful to you and I.

@Yolo12345 Why do you assume it’s a He?

I feel you. My fiancé died suddenly in October. He was only 52.I've had serious struggles in life for various reasons I won't go into,and I waited so long to find my soulmate. He was my best friend and the only father figure my youngest 2 boys ever had. We are utterly devastated. So I really don't have any time or patience with first world problems. It makes me ragey that people don't just appreciate the real things in life x

It’s probably because their lifestyle makes these things feel normal or even trivial. For them, a Christmas holiday might just be a standard part of life, and complaints about flight lengths or minor inconveniences could feel significant in their world. On the other hand, you see a Christmas holiday as a big event, which is likely why you have this perspective—and that’s totally fine. It just highlights how subjective frustrations and priorities can be, depending on one’s lifestyle and experiences :)

So sorry xxx

She's obviously unhappy.

Sure. Also, I’ve lost track of the number of Mn threads on here in recent years from people dreading going on holiday — stressed about packing, stressed about airports, frightened of flying, and/ or amusing small children on a long haul flight etc. Yet these people continue to go on holiday.

You mention 'family around'. TBH, it could be an absolute nightmare. Especially if ILs are there. Maybe your colleague just wants to sit on their arse eating After Eights for the duration?

i find this a lot with people who have had unhappy childhoods. They are always expecting something crap to happen, so an exotic holiday is just expecting crap to happen from a different location

So people enjoy moaning.

Also it may be they hate the travel bit - even dread it but still worth it once there for them.

What you need to is find a way to stop her moaning to you - as it clearly upsets you.

Ironically I have to do this with MIL who moans about people moaning but then moans at length about others behavior that doesn't affect her are all.

Some people just don't get excited.
If you do get excited about things, then you're fortunate in ways that they are not.

💐

I am sorry to hear you lost your soul mate and at such a young age.

Fair play, anyone who does long-distance travel at Xmas has reason to complain (even tho' they brought it on themselves!).

Every day count your small blessings.

I'm all about finding joy in the small things but I don't care if people want to have a moan and 'first world problems' are still problems if they present difficulty to someone. Maybe she's afraid of flying or anxious about potential turbulence, just because they're travelling it doesn't mean she finds it easy.

Do you think so? Just in general in her life?

In herself. People who are unhappy winge a lot.

I actually think that people who moan and whinge a lot are happy, not unhappy.

They actually enjoy having a moan and a whinge whilst doing nothing to improve anything. It's like the moaning is their outlet.

I tell them to stop moaning if they do it to me.