Bruising/Marks from childcare

[Xxx122]

Hi ladies,

I need a second opinion. My daughter is 2 in February. She started with her childcare provider (Childminder) properly in Jan 2023. She attends 3 days a week.

On a couple of occasions now she has come home with marks on her face. When I have asked she isn’t aware of them or how they happened.

For example she said no I didn’t notice any marks and she didn’t fall ect or cry.

She is an absolutely lovely lady and it took me a long time to build up trust to let her have my baby. I did settling in sessions for two months where I attended with my LG. I had no concerns about her setting or care.

My daughter has terrible separation anxiety and hates leaving me. She still to this day after 1.5 years cries when I drop her off.

The only other person she doesn’t cry when I leave her is my Mum. This is because she has a great bond.

Apologies for rambling, I guess I have two questions;

1. Should i be concerned after all this time that my daughter still cries at drop off?
2. How would you approach the marks on her face? If it was a one off I could ignore it but its been several.

The thing that did it for me today is that Monday evening she came home with a scratch under her eye. I was planning on asking about it when I picked her up today (Tues Afternoon). However my mum had to pick her up today for me. My mum asked on collection what she had did to her eye and the provider said it was like that when she came this morning!

My mum then took my LG’s hat off when she got home and there are scratches on the other side of her face now.

If you made it this far, Thanks for reading! First time momma needing advice

My 2 year old is in a super busy crèche and comes home covered in marks - but they can always tell me how it happens 9 times out of 10. And if they didn't see it happen, they have a rough time where it did. It's very rare where I would be the one to flag a mark, and they take that seriously and ask all the staff. He's very adventurous too, and climbs / runs head first into everything at home as well so the marks wouldn't be out of the ordinary for him.

Would it be worth having a frank conversation with your provider?

As for the crying at drop off, sadly we still have that too! Not every time, but a fair chunk of them. He's always happy when I pick him up though, and at any surprise early pick ups.

I'd be having a chat with childminder. Take a photo of the scratches.
Do the marks look like another child has scratched her?

Tbh I would move
.
if she’s not noticing scratches or marks which you spot straight away what else is she missing or not paying attention too

Yes completely agree my LG bruises easily and is super adventurous! I could deal with the marks if i had an explanation and they weren’t on the face! Legs and arms you kind if expect with crazy toddlers right!

Yes I think I need to, I’m worried changing provider will set her back anxiety wise so im torn!

Luckily I have photos/messages of everything I have queried with her.

Yes it does, which I understand other kids are still learning ect. Its the no explanation that doesn’t sit right with me!

It’s not great. Kids this age get into a lot of bangs and scrapes in childcare, but a nursery setting will have done an accident form for any of these so you were fully informed.

The crying at drop off isn’t a worry to me – I have twins and one cried every single day at nursery drop off for the entire time there. She still cries at every school drop off and she’s now in year 2! The other twins couldn’t give a toss.

You've always got to remember, you are your child's advocate, you need to speak up for your child because they can't, it's better to have the hard conversation than to ignore it and worse happen

My DD had a really hard time at drop offs, we found a picture of DH and I helped, we created a routine of we said goodbye and handed her the picture then she had it for a little while before putting it in her bag and it was always there if she needed a little comforting.

I hope all goes well ❤️

I’m so tempted as its a really pricey provider and we pay for their holidays which is fine but they take a lot, at least 10 weeks this year!

I am just worried it will set my LG back with her separation anxiety!

The thing that did it for me today is that Monday evening she came home with a scratch under her eye. I was planning on asking about it when I picked her up today (Tues Afternoon). However my mum had to pick her up today for me. My mum asked on collection what she had did to her eye and the provider said it was like that when she came this morning!
The fact that she has lied would give me enough reason to pull her from that setting. You know she didn't have that scratch when you dropped her off. If she didn't know how it happened she would say that as she has done in the past. The fact she lied says to me she knows how it happened and is trying to fob your mum off. Very worrying.

The bruises/scratches themselves I wouldn't mind. It's so easy for them to bang themselves at this stage, I would say we have a new bruise every other day (my family bruise very easily) and I see her do half of them at home.

The not noticing or logging it is more worrying. But then if she says she's not crying and it doesn't hurt when it happens, perhaps the childminder doesn't notice either.

Do you feel comfortable with how many children the childminder is looking after, that your child gets enough supervision and attention?

I'd be reporting it to social services. This is a safeguarding concern.
Unexplained injuries to a child.

For context this is today