“No crying, no dummy, no cuddles”

[Gc1992]

My 2 year old randomly came out with “no crying, no dummy, no cuddles” the other day. He is a little parrot and repeats everything so I am thinking he has heard this somewhere. It’s certainly not at home so that leaves nursery. I know kids that age say all sorts but this just seems too odd and random. I hate to think he has been upset at nursery and they haven’t comforted him.

Am I overreacting?

No, I don't think you are over reacting. My dd nursery would give hugs and cuddles to upset children. They could have dummies when young or upset but did encourage no dummies due to speech. I'm reasonably certain they said something once about how it is a necessary part of their development to know they can ask for a cuddle if they need one, and I agree. Seems very uncaring if they do this and that isnwhat children learn instead.

Aww that's sad. Wherever he heard it it must have affected him to remember it.

No 2 year old would come up with that on their own. What a cruel thing to say to an upset child, it’s a safeguarding issue for me. I wouldn’t send my child back there.

It is a bit of a peculiar phrase to come out with. Does he seem happy at nursery?

If you're worried I'd maybe mention it and gauge their reaction, perhaps open up a conversation about his emotional development, how he copes at nursery and what strategies they/he use to soothe and calm.

Is he there all day?
Does he have a dummy?
Do you have any friends with children there who you can ask if they've had any concerns?
Has he been there long?

It would worry me too. I'd love to put your mind at rest, OP, but it makes sense that he's repeating what he's heard there.

I just can't imagine not cuddling or helping a distressed child.

He didn't come up with it himself but he could have seen it on a cartoon. Kids copy other kids too so he could have picked it up from another child. It sounds horrible, I do think you should raise it with the staff.

It could be (hopefully) something said to another child by staff in a particular context and nothing to do with DS. The only context I can think of is if a child does something bad like throws toys or refuses to pick up something they often get angry and upset when reprimanded and look for comfort rather than pick the item up and it could be said in that context. I work in a nursery with slightly older children but it's quite common when asked to tidy up some kids suddenly decide they miss Mummy and want a cuddle or comfort item as away of avoiding picking up their toys and we have to call their bluff.