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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I am fuming (calmed down alot now) part 2

7 replies

Buttonsmum67 · 17/12/2024 18:42

I posted the other day, not sure how to tag it into here about finding out my dad wasn't my dad and my mum telling me I was the product of rape and then cutting me out of the family .

I calmed down and took on board some of your suggestions. I am very close with my godfather so decided as his name was mentioned by my bio dad in his message I would just ask him. I messaged saying I had done an ancestry test and it had come back with some anomalies. He rang me within literally 3 seconds.

Plot twist one: He thought I was going to say I was his!

Turns out he had also been sleeping with my mother (I cannot even 🤣😭).

We had a very frank discussion and he basically turned round and said he was 25 and an idiot. That was that, alongside being disappointed he wasn't my dad. I told him he may as well be at this point anyway. He told me that having known my mother since 17 up until in their 60s there was no way what she said happened as he knew of the man as they had had arguments about her meeting him whilst she was also sleeping with my godfather and he had a suspicion of what they were doing!

My mother is tall, blonde and very attractive so I presume she has just lied and manipulated her way through life with men and they've just put up with it to be with her.

I spoke with him at length about how horrible she is/was to me and he told me that when she announced her pregnancy at work the group of people she worked with all had a conversation that when her kids grew up we would either all turn into physcopaths or end up hating her! (They have my one correct, I hope 🤣) he also told me she's had two other affairs with people he knows of and my dad that bought me up knows.

Anyway. I have calmed down alot, spoken to him and my therapist gave me a lovely session. I had a cry.

I've decided it's all ridiculously messy. I am already low contact and she's cutting me off so she can have it. There's obviously alot more secrets she's kept and I am going to be the bigger person focus on my own mental health and my own family and just move on and leave them to it in their fake life they've created.

Thank you all for your advice xxx

OP posts:
DaringLion · 17/12/2024 18:50

WOW concentrate on yourself and your family

RandomMess · 17/12/2024 18:57

Sending you good vibes for healing and staying away from your mother!!!

I hope your godfather continues to be there for you 💐

MsNeis · 17/12/2024 19:45

💐🙏

BreadInCaptivity · 17/12/2024 19:53

Link to your previous thread:

I AM FUMING!!!!!! SUGGESTIONS PLEASE http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/5226869-i-am-fuming-suggestions-please

Pensionswew · 17/12/2024 20:01

Good idea OP.
Only absolute scum would lie and tell their child they are as a result of rape.

She is a disgusting excuse of a woman.

Honestly, you won't change her, just live your life.

But I wouldn't cover for her.

I would tell people the truth, she told you that you were as a result of rape to cover the fact she had multiple long affairs, and that you are a result of one of her many illicit relationships.

You owe her nothing, certainly not any loyalty.

DuckBee · 17/12/2024 20:04

Maybe your mother thought you were his too hence he’s your godfather? Maybe that’s why there’s extra baggage around your bio father?

ForeverPombear · 17/12/2024 20:08

She won't change, she doesn't want to.

Forget about her and concentrate on you and your family.

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