With friend’s visit?

[MJconfessions]

My friend is sleeping at mine tomorrow and then we’re travelling to another city for a day trip.

She wasn’t originally going to stay the night with me. She asked last week after having arguments with her partner. I said yes on that basis - to make sure she’s safe/okay.

I feel like it’s spiralling a bit and that’s not the reason she wants to stay. She now wants me to wash and style her hair using my Dyson airwrap as she doesn’t have one. Her hair is extremely long, below her bum. I imagine that it will hours to style her hair. She also wants me to do her makeup and wear my clothes as she doesn’t have an outfit and take photos for her social media.

Plus I’m going to have to get enough food in for her, cook her dinner/breakfast, plus tidy my home for her. It’s just extra effort that frankly I wouldn’t need to do if we just met at the train station…aibu to cancel the sleepover?

There is a backstory where I tend to constantly have to pay for her so feel like there’s a lot of take and she isn’t there for me much.

She isn't a friend, she's a user. The little enjoyment you get from this relationship is outweighed by the negatives. I would seriously consider going forward with this "friendhip" now you're in your twenties. People outgrow each other all the time.

There is a backstory where I tend to constantly have to pay for her so feel like there’s a lot of take and she isn’t there for me much.

You don't have to do anything. Your choice

Cancel as others have said - seriously I've had years of doing this sort of thing and some of the friends I went out of my way for in my twenties I now realise were not really friends. Even now I feel slightly bitter about the times I really put myself out for people - out of duty, kindness, social responsibility, worrying about not being a good friend.... and years later I can see what a waste of time it all was.
You can have a really good trip out on an equal footing and you'll enjoy it far more. Say no - use the suggested wording above and you'll be fine.

I think it's time for you to reconsider this friendship. Not all friendships are meant to last.
Personally, I'd cancel her staying over with a good excuse. Her reaction will be telling.
She comes across as the kind of person who will drop you like a hot potato once she realises she can't use you anymore.

In the nicest possible way, grow a backbone

It's all about her, she expects you to do all the work. Suggest meeting on the day, don't host her, she's a CF.

I had a pushy friend. Her reaction if I said I wasn’t up to this sort of situation would be to find a way around all of my reasons and express lots of disappointment to make me feel guilty.

You’re best off being less useful to her. Don’t go overboard with hosting, do the bare minimum. Say you haven’t got the energy when she wants her makeover - I bloody wouldn’t after a long day out. Pay attention to how she responds. If she’s a good friend she won’t whinge and whine.

This. I can already sense OP backtracking. Users are attracted to people like you OP, like moths to a flame. I bet she doesn't have many other friends because they've probably binned her off.

Tell her the truth . You really don't fancy all that hassle with hair/clothes / bath after a day at work . Ask her to just keep it casual . No meal at 9pm , breakfast tea and toast and show her where the milk is for cereal. No bed sharing sleep on couch .

Exactly. And I speak from experience, I used to be a chronic people pleaser and attracted people like this in my life.

Ahh thanks everyone, I have sent the message! Thanks for giving me the push as I was going back and forth before reading all the comments. She just said it’s fine.

Thanks for this!

I sent it but instead of the “doesn’t work” bit, referenced feeling overwhelmed due to a personal issue I’m dealing with, that she’s fully aware of.

She didn’t even comment on that or anything, didn’t ask if I’m okay etc. so I think that cements that I made the right decision.

This says everything you need to know really. You’ve done the right thing!

She's a ponce. Be politely unavailable. Whoops, sorry something came up. What was it? Sorry, it's a family matter and I can't discuss.

I agree with other posters...if you backtrack and allow her to stay...she'll 'borrow' your clothes anyway and "could you just be a sweetie and sort out my hair" etc etc.
Say you're out of town that night, last minute plans ( no need to elaborate). But looking forwards to meeting her at 10am at Costa in town.
If she wants to have a hair and makeover day in town another time, why dont you book something for the new year and I'll ping you my share over, bound to be some deals in the new year !. This of course will never happen because you are the friend that brings the magic she enjoys....