Not acknowledging gift

[Amberkitten7654321]

I left a gift for a friends 50th outside her house last Wednesday. I messaged her to tell her where I’d hidden it as we live in London and Amazon parcel thiefs are having a field day at the moment. she lives in a v quiet road though so not much passing traffic.

she has read the message but I’ve had no reply at all even to let me know if was received, nor thanks for it. AIBU for being hurt by this?!

Should I follow up to check she got it? I would’ve surely expected her to say something if she hadn’t found it when I’d explicitly told her where I’d hidden it.
it was quite a thoughtful gift, although not super expensive, she’d have known I took a long time choosing it.

Is it out of character for her to do this? Does she usually acknowledge gifts? I know that if one of my close friends didn't send a message of thanks for a gift fairly quickly (as they usually would) I'd be concerned about them.

I'd be inclined to send a message asking how she is and asking if she had a good birthday. Hopefully that will prompt something.

I'd be wanting to know it wasn't stolen off the doorstep. Can you message her again asking if it was still there?
You'd think she'd reply about that even if she didn't like the actual gift

Really rude, it doesn't take a moment to reply.

Could she have read the text and then got distracted/driving/kids whatever and then forgot about replying?
No harm in asking to check if she got it. She was likely just busy.

I wouldn't be be hurt by it.
But i would message and say can you let me know if you received it as there is a lot of thefts going on.
Next timejust send a card in the post.

This is rude of her (let’s not sugar coat this - you took the time to buy & deliver a gift last Wednesday and she’s had days to acknowledge).

I would call her up on this with a message along the lines of…. Just checking you have received your gift.

Manners cost absolutely nothing.

Its rude either way.- to text to thank you OR to say the gift isn't there! I would just ask- did you get the gift?- just in case she's so rude it's still lying out in the cold!

Very rude. I'd message and say did you not get the gift?

Does she have a partner who would look through her phone ?

Is Christmas a hard time of year for her ?

Is she like me and has waited until the last possible moment to get anything done and is regretting her life choices and sees messages and then forgets to respond because I’ve gotten distracted ?

Id message her and ask if she found the gift.

It's rude but I'd still follow it up due to how distracted she might be this close to Christmas and having had her 50th birthday.

She probably meant to message you and forgot, it's a busy time of year! Wait a day or so and then message just wanted to check you got the gift?

The message says read but that does not mean she actually read it. Sometimes I accidentally leave a message open and then close the app. It shows later messages as read but I have not looked.
Just message again and say you don’t want to be annoying but are worried she has not seen the message or has seen the message or that she has seen it and not found the gift.
is it possible your friend is away from home? Or ill. Or other circumstances?

It’s very rude. I wouldn’t buy her a gift again!

I sent a quick message and said just checking it was received and not stolen and got a short reply saying sorry she thought she messaged, thank you.
tbh I was pretty dissapointed / upset with the v Luke warm sentiment after I’d spent a long time choosing it. Ah well onwards and upwards, as some PP said, she may have a lot going on - but I won’t be putting in the effort again that’s for sure!

Don't bother again OP.

Thank you for updating OP. I would be feeling rather miffed too! Agree, I wouldn't bother next year, unless there is something difficult going on with her you aren't currently aware of. I'm sure you will have a lovely Christmas though and try not to think about it x

Aww she is being a bit rude. This whole 'she might have a lot gong on thing' really is annoying.. it takes a min to send a text. Just wait till she makes the next move.

.

What was the gift?

It was a framed picture of a coastal town she really loves. Not huge, but def her style. So didn’t cost £100s but I spent a long time looking for the right print and then paid for framing! I put a lot more time / effort into it than I usually would!!
(that’s prob outing but I don’t really care now tbh!)

Maybe she’s not opened it yet and saved it for Xmas day?

Oh ignore that just read op again and it’s for her bday. She’s being really rude

That is a truly thoughtful gift.
You're a nice friend and she had bad manners.

I wonder if it's been stolen and she darent say, so not to hurt your feelings. I've been in a similar position and I didn't know what to do knowing the giver would be upset.

No I know it’s not as another friend commented on having seen it.
I guess maybe we’re just not as good friends as I thought as she doesn’t seem to have realised how much thought I put in or thought about my feelings to bother acknowledging it!
oh well, better to learn these things one way or another I guess.