Should I initiate a third date?

[blueunicorn300]

So I met this guy online about two weeks ago and it’s been great - we met the same weekend, he asked for my number and suggested meeting up the weekend after (as he was going on a trip), texted me immediately after the date and since then we’ve been texting every day. It’s usually either him starting a convo (I have a few times too) or us continuing a conversation from the night before, we’ve had several long night chats.

We met again yesterday for our second date, went Christmas shopping together, had coffee and went for a wine glass, altogether spending four hours together. He was very flirty, touchy, complimentary towards me, calling me beautiful several times, showing me pictures of his family, asking to see mine. Upon parting, he asked what I am doing next week, and I answered with plans I had for Tuesday. He explained his plans for Thursday, looked thoughtful, then made a joke about maybe seeing me tomorrow. I said maybe and he responded jokingly about “seeing how my hair looked” (we’d been joking previously about rain ruining our hair).

After I got home he texted me that he had been very tired on our date and hadn’t wanted to confess it but was feeling it now. I responded that I’m sorry to hear that, that maybe we shouldn’t have gone for the wine and that I hope he rests. He said no worries, he was happy to have done it, and recommended a TV show he was watching. I responded saying that I’ve seen adverts for the show and it reminded me of another. He took an hour to respond to this and answered very shortly, saying this show was worth it and I might find some topics of interest there. I didn’t respond as it felt like an end to the conversation and he clearly was tired.

It is now 2 days later and he has not texted at all and he is someone who is online very frequently. I’m wondering if I should pursue this further, if I wait for him to text or what would be the right strategy? I don’t want to be pushy, but I’m wondering if this indicates a loss of interest, as it seemed very sudden for him to not continue the convo and not text at all today.

This is an AI bot isn't it?

It’s a very busy time of year! Give it til the weekend to see if he suggests meeting again.

Going for a wine glass made me laugh.

I am

Actually, it makes you look like a normal human being. Unless you live in 1950s or are a fully paid member of the trad wife club.
You wouldn't say the same about the bloke, would you. He is desperate if he asks for a date... Give me a break.

My husband said the same thing. Probably why we are married as I didn't get hung up about who text whom first. He said if they are interested in me they can text me so works both ways.

You’re thinking far too much into every word in each message.

if you want a third date, ask.

Yes. This. He's doing the slow fade and concentrating on someone else for now.

I think he was testing you when he suggested seeing you at short notice the next day to see if you’d jump at the offer.

texting every day and long overnight convos in the beginning never end well, it fizzles out.

i wouldn’t bother messaging him anymore

I don’t think anyone would confess to being knackered like that if they really liked someone. I’d take it as a hint he was about to fade away.

When I was dating my husband I stayed up one night on the phone to him until 2am. He asked if I had work the next day and I lied and said no. I did have work. I was up at 6am. I was shattered that day! But I still to this day never told him! To me it was worth it as I was really keen to keep talking to him that night as I really liked him!

So, why would asking make the OP look desperate but not the man of he does the asking? Why do women always have to be passive?

I'd be wary here - maybe he has lost interest and was trying to distance himself with the talk of being tired but maybe he wasn't sure of whether you were feeling it and doesn't want to make a fool of himself and is leaving it for you to contact him, OP. There's only one way to find out!

I'd probably just re-engage with the chat to gauge interest and ask if he's feeling better.

I absolutely agree with this. I spent ages being passive in romance to avoid being rejected and I honestly think at least 50% of potential love interests just couldn't work out whether I was keen or not. It all worked out in the end but I think in retrospect it would have been better to tolerate rejection and live a little bit more!

(Edited because "reactive" makes me sound like a traumatised hound)

I agree! What the big deal about someone saying no or even just not respoinding? Not like you're proposing marriage is it? As long as you don't keep chasing if they rebuff you or offer a lukewarm response, you've nothing to be embarrassed about. Them never asking you out again is still rejection.

It sounds like it’s your turn to reply to him?
Why are you fretting over him not texting you when you haven’t text him back!?

Sounds to me like there has just been too much contact, too soon.Texting someone you don't know every day is tedious. I would give it a few days and then drop a casual "Hi, how are you? When are you free to get together?"

I wouldn't overthink it, op

Just message and ask if he's feeling better x

What did you decide to do @blueunicorn300 ?

Thank you everyone for your responses! (for some reason I can't edit my post anymore so I am responding here). In the end, the decision was taken out of my hands as he ended up messaging me the evening of day 2! So we will see how it progresses. But thank you everyone who mentioned that perhaps things are going a bit fast, I'm new to online dating, and I think maybe dialing it back a tiny bit sounds like good advice and something to keep an eye out for (and perhaps that was his reasoning too).

Glad he got in touch @blueunicorn300 .