To pleeaaaaase ask for any tips for split nights?

[JJ456]

I have a 16 month old. Naps once a day 1-2 hours (depending on nursery etc). Eats a healthy diet at the same times every day. Highly active.

She wakes up for 2-3 hours in the middle of the night EVERY night. I work full time time and it is absolutely killing me, I’m averaging about 4 hours a night and not always altogether.

She normally wakes up really wanting a bottle saying she’s hungry. But then won’t sleep again.

Obviously it is exhausting but also she wants me to stand up and rock her for the whole time or she screams so much she’s nearly sick. She weighs 2 stone. I’m in so much muscular pain and I’m really worried about knock on effect to my lower back.

Has anyone found ANYTHING that helps with split nights that they could share?

That sounds horrible- have you tried porridge/ weetbix before bed just to ensure she’s not hungry . Or what time does the nap end ? Maybe bring the nap to max 1 hour ?

You must be exhausted and in pain

My eldest didn't sleep through the night until 18 months and it was exhausting. I also work full time.

In the end, DH and I decided to get tough and help her learn to sleep. So no bottles at night. No chatter or eye contact or being friendly, just a short cuddle and "back to bed". If she cried in bed, I'd wait 3 minutes (timed on my phone) before going in.

At the same time, we did more of a big cozy bed time routine in the evening with stories and giggles.

It took 2 brutal weeks of this regime before she slept through. But it was worth it.

Agree with this. At this age she doesn’t need a bottle in the night, give her an extra snack in the day, keep repeating the same thing in the night “it’s time to sleep, you can have milk in the morning etc” don’t negotiate or give in and go cold turkey. You need to do some sleep training now. For you and for her.

Yes all this. You will have to get tough I'm afraid or this will go on for ages.

I know how awful this feels I went through split nights twice with my now nearly 4 year old.

The first time it happened at 18 months it lasted 6 weeks I don’t know what stopped it.

The second time at 21 months I got lots of useful advice on here and I think adjusting naps helped. Limiting them to 1.5 hours and not letting her sleep past 2pm.

This is the thread I had

www.mumsnet.com/talk/sleep/4741656-help-has-anyone-solved-split-nights

Nothing worked for my daughter until 4.5yrs starting at school being worn out mentally and physically. She would be awake 2hrs plus every night. She’s now competes nationally in sport trains 16hrs a week, plus college and a p/t job. She is just wired with lots of energy. Her sister slept through the night from 9mths old no issues - it wasn’t our parenting just the way they were wired differently. Get sleep however you can, split the night shift with your DH (I used to go to bed early (7pm) get in 4hrs solid sleep then do her awake hours and DH would get up with her in the morning so I could get another 2-3hrs sleep before work) co-sleep if it helps or works for you try sleep training but don’t beat yourself up if your lo doesn’t respond they don’t all and at some point will get there.

Do you have a partner? If so they need to pull their weight whether that is one night each or one of you going to bed early sleeping first and swapping at a certain time of night to the other. Especially if you are doing the sleep training as that could get worse before it gets better.

I do know that the bottle is not helpful but can’t imagine her settling without it - she basically never ever has even with me trying everything else