To be annoyed for siblings to not send present money

[ChimneySweepLiverpool]

My two siblings are real last minute types at Christmas, whereas I'm more organised. More uptight you could say!

We usually do a group gift for our parents. They weren't coming up with anything so on Saturday I found tickets to a comedy gig they'd like. I posted it in our siblings Facebook group and everyone said yes. On Sunday morning I found tickets for it, sent them a screenshot and asked for the money of their share. Its 20 pounds each but it's too expensive for me to book it before pay day unless I at least get some of their share sent to me.

No one has sent the money so I haven't booked the tickets. I feel unreasonable but AIBU to think it's minimal effort to simply send me the money

I would drop the group gifts . It’s far easier.

Maybe they can't afford their share before pay day. Tbh I'd just get something from you and stop being the group gift coordinator it sounds too stressful

I would just go back and say as they haven’t bothered you can’t book and in fact have now decided it’s silly to do a group present when no one responds so you will each do your own

Just buy the tickets as your gift. The other two can sort their own lives out. They're not children.

Sack off the group gifts. It doesn't work.

Just message them and tell them to pay up now so you can get the gifts.

'Hiya, can u all send me £20 each, i need the money tonight so I can buy decent seats for mum n dad before they sell out. Let me when you've sent it. If you'd rather do individual presents, let me know. Thanks'.

How does the OP do that if she can’t afford them?

@mum11970 well I'd hope she'd choose something she could afford, but my point remains valid. Joint gifts are a bad idea if the other two won't contribute.

Usually on Christmas Eve a frantic text goes around from them and they pop online to buy a joint gift. I was trying to be more organised this year and make sure it's something parents actually enjoy. We've been doing group gifts for birthdays and Christmas all of our adult years

If they're that useless, I'd stop doing a group gift and organize something myself.

£20 for both parents, that’s £10 a parent and you or they can’t afford it? You could have bought them last pay day if you wanted to be organised.

This year then your parents get something else - and next year - as you're the organised sibling (I am too), start in October and get the money in on your siblings' pay day before they spend it.

The OP's share is £20, the tickets are £20 for each sibling, she says she can't afford to pay for everyone.

Are you reading something else?
The OP can afford £20. She can't afford £60. Why is that hard for you to understand?

TBH if your finances are on such a knife edge that you can't fund £40 (your two siblings share) for a few days, I think you probably need to scale back your plans. Spending £20 towards a gift for your parents from the little reserves you have doesn't seem wise?

Maths is probably not their strong point. 😂

Yup, I hear you. I'm also the organised sibling. I don't do joint gift with my brothers, it's too hard.
Get something just from you that your parents might like. Sod your siblings. It's time they stopped riding your coattails
Merry Christmas

I think you need to stop with the group gifts. Let each do their own. Although you are being generous and helpful by taking the lead in organising, it may well be something that your siblings don't feel particularly happy about. I wouldn't be surprised if they felt a combination of guilt (at not being better organised themselves) and resentment (because their passivity has dragged them into a situation where they are cornered into doing things your way and having to be grateful for it).

Those aren't the sentiments that should surround a gift. Better that your parents get petrol-station flowers that come without all the emotional burden.

Also, when they say yes to your suggested present, could it be (at least in part) that they are doing so in order to please you, to make you feel appreciated or or at least to forestall any stress or irritation you might feel if you thought that they weren't on board with the idea?

I have a relative who is a bit over-organising in this way and I find it hard to turn down their suggested plans for these sorts of reasons.

Message again and say are you sending money or shall I get a separate gift and you sort yourselves out.

My maths and understanding of the situation is fine thanks, I’m more just questioning grown adults that only spend £10 per parent for Christmas but that’s just my opinion.

@Samseys
You really struggle to understand that some people live pay check to pay check and struggle to buy anything for their dc let alone their parents don't you.

Your ignorance is astounding

Exactly. If I couldn’t afford £60 to cover the price even temporarily, then I’d probably be too concerned to buy anything at all

Exactly. If I couldn’t afford £60 to cover the price even temporarily, then I’d probably be too concerned to buy anything at all

You’re one of three, trying to jointly organise a larger present yet you’re probably buying gifts for three occasions each year - birthday, mothers/fathers day, Christmas.
In future you could go it alone and save up for one gift to cover all events. Your parents might prefer this too.