DH noisy eating makes me want to jump out of a window

[RedandGreenBauble]

DH is a mouth breather. He has sleep apnea and cannot breathe out of his nose. He chomps his food loudly with his mouth open. It is unbearable. Cereal - he slurps the milk loudly then chomps the cereal. I am losing the will to live. He enjoys crunchy vegetables and chewy meat - he chews meat for bloody ages. 😡 His friends have commented how loud his eating is. I remember early into our relationship we were sharing a box of chocolates, I heard the horrific sound of him chewing loudly in my ear and honestly thought that he was messing around to make me laugh. Nope. That was how he actually ate! You may ask why I married the man!

I have to put one finger in my ear without him noticing to block it out. Sometimes I physically recoil backwards without meaning to and he storms off.

He says I’m controlling how he eats or trying to stop him eating.

When we eat out it’s actually not a problem and he has table manners. It’s just at home that he chomps like a cow 🐮

So, dreadful combination - my misophonia and husbands horrific eating habits. My putting my fingers in my ears when he eats is probably not nice for him either.

Honestly I'd just eat at different times or at the very least refuse to sit opposite him during meals. I'm the same about noisy eaters. Literally can't bare it!

Have you looked into therapy or treatment? He should do what he can to be quieter, but I don't think you can blame the guy for eating crunchy vegetables or the length of time he chews his meat.

Might the first thing be to get him to the Dr to sort out the breathing, assuming it can be sorted?

I found loop earplugs did take the edge off when I went on holiday with my parents. My dad …

I have had a problem with eating noises since I was a child. Not only that but anything like sniffing, slurping, gulping, coughing, people clearing their throat, whistling, packets rustling, typing on a keyboard, anything lol. The biggest triggers for me are snoring and crunching though, crisps being the worst. I try and manage it with headphones/music/ear plugs and having background noise if I have to eat with people.

I have misophonia - I sympathise, meal times are tortuous. Background noise helps me, maybe the TV or radio on to try and block some of it?

Also have misophonia and DH is a noisy eater but only with certain things. The worst one is cereal, and he only ever eats it late at night while I’m trying to watch something, he smacks his lips, breathes heavily, crunches LOUDLY and slurps the milk, then seems to smack his lips for ages after in that ‘mmm this was yummy sort of way’. I have to leave the room sometimes because I just want to scream at him but I grew up seeing my Dad be awful to my Mum about her eating and feeling so bad for her (my mums eating has always really annoyed me but she’s so sweet and lovely and I could see how it would upset her so I just used to think he was being an AH) so I’ve never wanted to be that person and I bite my tongue. I do remind my entire family not to talk with food in their mouths and to keep their mouths closed while chewing but that’s general table etiquette. I am going to get some loop ear plugs to help with how much it makes me want to tear my skin off though.

Can you get him to post on here about the things you do that annoy him ?

Then we can work out if the two cancel each other out or whether one is more annoying than the other.

This won’t go down well with Mumsnetters but….. tell him not to? The lack of personal pride and responsibility is the biggest ick here surely. Ugh. Just expecting someone you live with and supposedly love and respect, to endure your vile noises. So so gross. He should do something about it - and there’s plenty that CAN be done about it. If he needs those things handing to him on a plate then that just compounds the ick.

When we eat out it’s actually not a problem and he has table manners. It’s just at home that he chomps like a cow

So here's another case of someone who CAN eat politely, but chooses to make revolting noises and eat like a pig in front of his wife. Then gets arsey when she complains.

Loop earplugs or eat separately. He doesn't have the right to subject you to this.

If he can control the noise when eating out, then he can control it while at home. The fact that he eats like a cow at home is frankly disrespectful.

Chewing/lip smacking/slurping are all fucking horrible noises.

If he doesn't sort it, I'd genuinely be considering leaving him.

That's horrible for you. If he eats properly when out, then he can control it. I would refuse to be in the same room until he finishes eating.
I also hate it when people go down to their food like a pig at a trough and use a fork like a shovel.

He’s also obsessed with eating apples 🍎 and eats about 2-3 after every meal. The noise is unbearable!! He’s a heavy breather too Aaagh.

So here's another case of someone who CAN eat politely, but chooses to make revolting noises and eat like a pig in front of his wife. Then gets arsey when she complains.

Yep. It's basically entitlement and lack of respect.

I’ve noticed it’s worse if he’s eating whilst on his phone or watching TV as he becomes unaware. It’s not as bad when we eat together at the table.

Oh I’m extremely annoying too but in different ways 🤣

I have misophonia so completely understand, it's a flight-or-fight response to certain noises. Makes me feel sick, panicked, angry and tearful all at once.

It sounds as though he has a physical breathing issue as well as being really damn gross?

Would he go to the GP about the breathing, to have his nose investigated?

Can you wait until he's quietly watching a film or something he's enjoying and then give him a taste if what it's like?
Sit next to him and chomp and slurp as loud as you can with an apple, bag of crisps, ice cubes etc.
Would he notice?

Yes he’s actually been told about an operation (minor) that he could have on his nose to help him breathe better. He can’t actually breathe through his nose.

If my DH does this, I just tell him to STFU, really bugs me when I am trying to watch a film and its constantly interrupted by noises, I like quietness.

A 2 year old can eat with their mouth closed, the OPs 'D' h can do it when out but not at home...no..revolting..I'd buy a trough for the garden for Xmas for him!

There you go then.

Score draw.

God 3 apples after each meal! Madness! His poor teeth!

Yes I sympathise. I "thank" DHb
for "that disgusting noise" (usually a particularly reverberative sniff in his case) and he hasgot a bit better.

But I do remember when the youngest left home "Oh what now - just 30 more years if listening to DH eat ?😕"

Apples shudder, those and raw carrots 😬

You read all that and you thought, yep, he's fine, it's her that's the problem? Seriously? She needs therapy because he eats like an animal?

Yannbu op.