I've read a few threads about this topic. Trying to work out how I deal with my narcissistic mum.
I'm pretty sure she is a narcissist, but she is also incredibly good at gaslighting. My brother and sister think she means well underneath. Although, I am starting to question if they have just had the wool pulled over their eyes.
I've always known she is difficult and moody, but it's never affected me too much. But since meeting my current partner and moving out of my mums, it's become so much worse. I think this is to do with her losing control over me, so the games have been turned up a notch. My partner has also pointed out that a lot of her behaviour isn't normal and that the things she says and does are often really out of order. My friend also has a narcissist mother and has been to councilling for it. I see the similarities.
I'm just really struggling on how to move forward in my relationship with her. I used to have such a close relationship with her, but I just can not get over how she has treated me recently, and since coming to this realisation that she is actually a narcissist ive been reflecting on a lot of her behaviour when i was growing up.
A big one for example is that she has always tried to turn her against my dad, used to slag him off in front of me and brother since i can remember. I have always thought my dad was in the wrong, as she would say he treats her badly (they are still together btw- well cohabiting). But now I am wondering if this is quite true and think she should have either left him or not tried to turn me and my brother against him. Mine and my brothers relationship with my dad has always been bad, i think as a result of this. I do recognise he isnt perfect but maybe he has never been that bad. I am starting to becoming closer with my dad and he recently said (after i had a fall out with my mum) 'i think your mum is actually just not a nice person, pretending to be nice'... this has stayed with me, and often i think it is true.
But then I start questioning whether I have been to harsh in thinking so badly of her- because she can act lovely and denies half the stuff she ever says and does.
I have considered starting a journal, just to document her treatment of me and how it makes me feel - so i know it isn't just all in my head. I think if either my brother or sister came out and said, 'your right, how she treats others isn't right,' then I would feel confident in my thinking this. Tbh, I do think I have been more of a target recently because of me moving out, so prehaps they don't see it how I do.
Any advice?