Second hand book christmas gift

[123teenagerfood]

I will start by saying that my relationship with my Mother is very difficult and strained. We agreed to meet at the weekend to exchange gifts, her idea. I got her a new set of pens, new notebook, new glasses case, new sewing scissors and a second hand book, of an author she likes, it was in good condition. I received a book mark, my husband a bottle of wine and my son, money and chocolates. She said she loved the gifts, and hadn't read the book. All good, until she got home and text me that I was disgusting to give her a used book and it wasn't a nice thing to do. I said she was ungrateful and now she is ignoring me. Was I wrong to include the used book? She will happily buy used books and take them from me at other times of the year.

Sounds like it's no loss!
I'd be really pleased too, like when my friend knew I was after a certain book and she found it in a charity shop and gave it to me. I was thrilled to bits.

She has never been grateful, she once threw a jigsaw I got her across my dining table and said rubbish, she was in a jigsaw phase! I only saw this from afar, it was never mentioned. She does sneer at gifts, even when you get her something she likes. I've blocked her number and I've had enough. Thankfully she is going away on holiday for Christmas so I dont have to see her again.

I would also like to add that I have been buying second hand books since I was a child, we had a local book store and she would take me there and I also buy second hand toys for my child, as they grow out of things so fast and it gets expensive, these toys are then sent round our friend group, until they outgrow them. I've got my brother in law used cookbooks, he's into cooking and loves collecting old books, I know he'll love them.

If she’s ignoring you, let her. Don’t try to contact her, just leave it.

Absolutely nothing wrong with your gifts.

I got my son some second hand viz annuals for Christmas as you can't buy them new...

I have bought DH a secondhand, signed copy of David Mitchell's Unruly: The Kings and Queens of England as one of his Christmas gifts. He won't care that it is not new.

I’m the same.

All my children’s toys, books and clothes when little, even for Christmas and birthdays are secondhand. It gets trickier to do that past age 5/6 for toys and clothes as they want certain things then. But when they are very small, growing out of things and getting bored with toys and books quickly, it’s a no brainer to go secondhand, I’d have spent a fortune otherwise.

I haven’t bought a new book for myself ever, apart from a couple of very specific new ones.

As long as it's in good condition it's fine. I buy my children second hand books every Christmas. I buy some new books too. We value both.
My eldest bought his younger siblings second hand books this year too - as they know it's a nice thing to do and the thought which went into choosing the book is what counts.

I just brought a collection of 4 books ,(complete series) 2nd hand as it's no longer in print and I was heartbroken, but I had my heart set on gifting as I know the person will love it.
Preloved, with thought is absolute lovely appropriate!

Whatever her views, it was the height of rudeness to text like that.

My step kids asked what I wanted for Christmas - I sent them my book wish list and told them to try Vinted first before buying new! I'm quite happy with second-hand provided it's in good condition (not keen on really used and wrinkled spines).

Would definitely go second-hand over new if possible.

80% of my DS (6) presents are second-hand from vinted. He's a huge Doctor Who Fan, and it's not easy to get anything new anymore.

Your DM sounds ungrateful and unkind (owing to your update). Please stop making the effort...

Your mum is really ungrateful! Enjoy quiet Christmas without her and don't bother to give her a present again.

My dad is getting a second hand book from me this Christmas. It's out of print so I could hardly buy it new. Similarly my mum has given me second hand books before. Sometimes it's second hand or go without. I always choose the book. My mum is also careful about the state of the book as it's still a present, which means they're nearly always good as new. I'm sure everyone on this thread is the same.

I was especially touched when my mum tracked down some recipe books for me including one that came across from America. I didn't care that they were second hand, I was just excited. All were immaculate - apart from a recipe in one of them that had 3/10 and a sad face pencilled on top of the page! We're not sure if the seller left that as a buyer beware or just didn't rub it out for whatever reason but we haven't erased it or made the recipe!

We've actually got a pristine Tom Kerridge book that needs to go to the charity shop now I think of it. It's absolutely good as new, never used - but someone will get a much better bargain on it than I did!

If it was the only gift, and in poor condition, maybe she would have a point. But it wasn’t, it was a thoughtful addition to many other lovely, thoughtful, brand new gifts.

She was looking for a reason to be mean, and you were quite right to call her out on it. Leave her to stew with her thoughts, and do the absolute minimum for her in future.

As long as it's in fair condition, nothing wrong with this at all. I often give second hand or vintage books as a gift. Sometimes books are out of print, and sometimes an older edition might be much nicer than the current print version; and sometimes it's just a cheaper and more sustainable way of giving someone a book!

Wow, how ungrateful! I'd be pleased someone found me something I wanted, whether second hand or new. SIL a drama queen?

Half my presents are second hand books. I like to give and receive them. She's an ungrateful boot.

She got you a bookmark??

I sell rare books professionally, 99% of which are second hand, ranging from 300-a few years old. In more than a decade of selling books, I have always had my busiest selling period in the run up to Christmas, so I think it’s safe to assume that a lot of people receive used books for presents!