Ruined my partners presents for me, feel guilty

[dryshampooqueen]

This is such a non issue but I feel so bad!

Earlier this year I mentioned I liked a particular brand of trainers. We then went into a trainer shop (for him, I thought) and we saw some. We were looking at them and I didn’t connect the dots at all, and I said “meh, I don’t really like these anymore” and that was it. I don’t even know why because I do - I think they just had a load of horrible colours out!

I then remembered I hadn’t given any ideas to my family yet and I remembered i needed a yoga mat. I mentioned this to my boyfriend in passing.

He then laughs and I assumed that was his idea. He then told me he was planning to get me those trainers and a yoga mat.

I instantly felt awful. He said he had two more ideas but obviously not his main ones. He’s told me not to worry but I feel so so guilty, mainly for being so rude and unappreciative about the trainers!
I’ve said since I’d still love a pair but he wants it to be a surprise so he won’t get them now.
I feel a right diva and sooo bad

Stop beating yourself up woman 😂

you're not a mind reader! We make throw away comments all the time it's only human. Plus he's not out of pocket is he he hasn't even bought them yet.

are they sambas? 👀

I know! I just feel so bad it was such a thoughtless comment!!!
No they were gazelles 😀

It would only be thoughtless if you knew he was planning on buying them for you, all you did was express an opinion on something that would be going on your body. And if you really hadn't liked them anymore, wouldn't it have been worse if he had bought them and you had to force yourself to wear them, or come clean?

Don't give it another thought, and buy yourself a pair in the January sales!

Why would she buy a pair she doesn't like them anymore.

OP it's fine, it's better that than he spends a small fortune on them and you don't even like them

If it makes you feel better, I ruined DH’s first 3 attempts at proposing with flippant comments (he wanted it to be a surprise and I kept accidentally preempting his plans 🙈) almost ruined the real deal too by changing the time of something I was doing last minute 😂

It's not a thoughtless comment at all. Nothing to feel bad about. He hadn't even bought them and even if he had you weren't to know. You're allowed to have reactions to things and can't temper them based on unknown information.

He hasn't bought them so what's the issue?
He thought you'd like them. You said you don't. So he's not going to buy them. The end 🤷
Me and my husband always ask each other what we would like for Christmas. Any "surprise" gifts will be small ones (like a fiver or less).
We don't have the money to be buying expensive "I hope you like this" gifts 😂

OP said - "...and I said “meh, I don’t really like these anymore” and that was it. I don’t even know why because I do - I think they just had a load of horrible colours out!".

It's better he finds out you have gone off them before he buys them. It's a good thing you mentioned it! He doesn't want to get you a gift you don't like.

When I was in Uni and working part time I'd saved up for a while to treat my mum to a perfume I knew she'd loved - she is an absolute angel but wants for nothing and is incredibly difficult to buy for.

When it got to Mother's Day, I called upstairs to let her know I'd got there and said I'm sorry I've not got you a lot (or something along those lines) and she said 'you could get me ANYTHING and it'd be more than enough...except that horrible perfume from X'. Turns out someone was sick at her work and mum had sprayed her sleeve so she could focus on that smell while it was being cleaned up, but then associated the perfume with being sick and was totally off that perfume forever more. Her face when she unwrapped it and realised what I'd bought was incredible and I still laugh nearly 20 years later thinking about it 🤣🤣🤣🤣

He was only 'planning' to get them so I don't see the problem.

It's not like he bought them, wrapped them up and now he has to dig out the receipt and go back and change them? 🤷‍♂️

If my partner told me she liked something, I was ready to buy it for them, then they told me they changed their mind and didn't like them anymore, that would be okay, bit annoying to have to go back to the drawing board but whatever - however if they then decided they did want them and bought them themselves, that would really annoy me!

I can't work out why you didn't just say "I don't like these colours" rather than "I've gone off this style," in the first place, and then why you didn't clarify that again when he said he was going to get them for you. "Really, wow that would be an amazing present, I would definitely still like that, I don't like those colours that we saw in that shop but anything in blue or green would be great."

You both sound very sweet and keen to make each other happy. So nice to read this sort of 'problem' for a change! He isn't bothered, he just wants to please you. Long may that last!

Oh it wouldn't bother me - people change their minds, or misspeak (as in this case). I wouldn't want my partner to go without something they wanted because of something like that.