I have a friend ( well I’m not sure about calling her a friend really ) who I haven’t heard from for a year. It always seemed that it was me instigating contact and organising coffee dates etc.She would always be so busy meeting others that I felt as though she had a “ window” of time that could be allocated to me ! I got tired of this so stopped the contact. Perhaps unsurprisingly she didn’t then contact me. All good , I just thought that some friends come and go at different phases of our lives. We are both retired now so have spare time. Also , due to an accident she can no longer drive. We belong to a Wattsapp group which people occasionally message on to arrange events. Twice now when an event has been mentioned she has been very enthusiastic and said she definitely wanted to attend. This has happened again today.I know that she will probably contact me and expect to be picked up and taken home afterwards …. adding about an hour to our journey. It makes me feel used but also guilty that I feel resentful. It’s worse because the others in the group will think I’m being unkind … most of them (although not all ) live further away from her than I do.
I know she’s finally going to contact me because she wants something from me. I have been going through our interactions over the years in my head today and realised that the acts of friendship have been very one way. Am I being unreasonable to ignore the texts/ calls which are bound to come eventually ? I feel sorry for her in that she can’t drive any more but she has always made a point of telling us how many good friends she has and goes on trips , holidays etc. Why can’t one of these “ friends “ take / fetch her ?
I suppose I feel guilty because she’s had health issues which have restricted her life and we ( me and DH) have given quite a lot of support until a year ago. To be honest I haven’t missed her company at all.
Ok … I’m prepared to be told I’m a selfish so and so. What are your thoughts?