I feel like l'm depressed and cannot enjoy life anymore due to teaching!? Do I just need to find the right school after 4 schools?

[Se12345]

Everything is evolving around teaching these days. I want to give quick background information so if anyone out there reads can give me some guidance and direction. I completed my ECT years in two different schools. After two maternity covers I finally took on my first permanent job at another area. I couldn't take it and resigned with a month's notice February of 2024. It was so bad, planning was taking weeks and weeks and data was too much, admin work was too much and kids were unbelievable. I have never had such complains that I had from those parents. After resigning l actually got a job offer at another school that got withdrawn because the headteacher at the current time decided to give me a bad reference even though she only ever observed me once and knew me for 4 months. After that I found myself in supply teaching. Which started of with couple daily supply then long term roles.

One of the schools were lovely and I should have stayed longer when they offered but no l decided I wanted move to another area to get pay increase (fringe to outer London). I'm about to leave to school l'm at now because they expect too much also, they asked me to stay but told me if I did choose to stay another 2 terms l'd have to step up and get more involved, I don't want to give that much time when l'm not permanent.
I've been on and off job searching since last Feb. Only ones I get invited to are the council roles. Like ehcp coordinator or inclusion officer and decided not to interview on all occasions. I read things that day that's it's not going to be any better than teaching and that it's more stressful.
I don't know what do to. I am literally looking at jobs every minute I get. I decide that l'm not going to teach no more.

Then next minute I think, the holidays, and the future when I have kids.

I am studying msc psychology at the moment part time But won't be able to do PHd anytime soon.

All I do in any moment I get. School toielt break, lunch break, after school. Before bed or before work is to search for jobs. The remote jobs never really get back to me. I am deeply and secretly depressed I think.

If you have or can get BACP accreditation there are work from home jobs available as a mental health mentor for university students.

I’m a full time work from home tutor now. I missed my DD’s nativity/Christmas play every year. I sometimes had to miss her Parents’ Evening when it clashed with a school event. When she asked why I wasn’t proud of her it broke my heart for about half an hour before I went back to planning for other people’s children. I missed grandparents’ funerals, uncles and aunts’ funerals. I had to fill forms in and ask permission to attend consultant appointments after I had cancer. No more. Over a quarter of a century, and the pension isn’t that great. Nor is the maternity pay.

I echo what everyone has said about teaching not being family friendly. I always remember choking on my drink when someone in my NCT group said that she was considering retraining as a teacher because it was " family friendly". I don't think the rest of the group remembered that I missed out on many of the activities when I was pregnant because I was working. I took maternity leave from a half term holiday.

This is teaching, OP.

If it's not for you, then it's not for you.

and it's not for a lot of people which is absolutely fair enough. If it's having an effect on mental health I would look for alternative paths such as the ones people have suggested here.

There’s a good Facebook group called Exit the Classroom and Thrive.

I don’t think teaching is for you OP, you’re struggling to cope with the pressure now, so if you have kids in the future believe me the holidays will be insignificant in the scheme of things. Would you consider HLTA, not as well paid granted, but you could cover lessons, ppa. Or just stick to supply for a while. Or private tutor.

Find another career. Teachimg is clearly not your forte

I find it pretty family friendly tbh. The 13 weeks of holiday I share with my kids, means I get to spend loads of time with them.

Yes, you work longer than the school day, but so do 9-5 jobs. Maybe because I moved to teaching from an office job in the city centre, which had a commute and now I am local, but the time isn't really that different...other than the Sunday afternoon now and then, planning and marking.