Phone for 9 year old

[Bubblegirly]

My mum has asked to by 9yo DS an iPhone for Xmas as he has been asking for one. She is happy to spend around £1000. I have said no. We feel he is too young for a phone and he has an iPad, switch PS4 etc. she is quite put out by this and I have said I think it’s very generous but he doesn’t need one for a good few years yet. AIBU?

Watch the program that's been on TV this week. It's called swiped and it's on BBC. It's really well worth watching. It's about how mobiles are affecting children's brains.

No, I think you know you're not BU. Why is your mum being so pushy on this?

There's a swathe of new research saying smart phones are 'bad' for kids, especially younger ones. Lots of parents are pushing back against the assumption that all kids need a smart phone for secondary, for e.g.

Good grief. 9 is way too young. My youngest won’t have a Nokia phone till 13 and 16 before they have a smart phone.

Channel 4

I agree with you. But even if I didn't, I think when to get a phone is a parent's decision not a grandparent's one, because he won't just be getting a phone, you'll be getting something to monitor, so she's giving you a job as well as him a gift.

Why is she being so pushy about it?

Is she paying for the ongoing contract or PAYG too?

I mean, you could say yes and have it totally locked down so it’s not got a browser or any apps.. but then maybe he’d only be able to phone his grandparents 🤔 that’d be a very expensive dumb phone.

Either way, that’s an OBSCENE amount of money to even consider spending on inappropriate technology for a nine year old. Maybe she could buy him Disney+ for a year or ten instead?

I would be very firm that this is a no.

It is bad for your child and will cause endless problems and drama. Suggest she puts the same amount of money in a savings account instead.

No way.
He already has far too much tech for a 9 year old. He should be playing with toys or running around outside.

I agree with you. A phone is totally unnecessary at that age

That £1000 is better invested in shares and premium bonds or activities for his future rather than an I phone. Your mother is being stupid, send her the link for the BBC documentary on mobile phones to watch.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn4x8jynpgzo.amp

Why does he need a phone? Genuinely why?
I'm a grandmother and no way will I inflict the hell of SM on my gc.
It's ruined a generation. Why would she do this?

No, no, no. For a whole host of reasons, not least that £1000 worth of phone is crazy for a young kid to carry round. It’ll get nicked or broken within weeks.

Sit watch the tv show on channel 4 and share it with your mum, hard no from me, but my boys narrowly missed this age and are older, but no way would I give a 9 year old boy a phone, I'd be waiting until 14 minimum.

Watch this week’s Channel 4 documentary with her. Both for the shocking content being pushed at children and the reaction of the children, especially the boys, when they had to give up their phones.

(If you just send her the link, she may not actually watch it.)

Is she on glue?

My granddaughter's phone is absolutely necessary.

My 8 year old granddaughter has had my old iPhone for over a year now. She only uses WhatsApp very occasionally and only has 4 contacts on it. It's pay as you go and it's only been topped up twice. Her mum has made sure that she cannot access other applications. It is mainly used on the home WiFi.

My grandson's consultant recommended that she have a phone and it was the only spare phone we had. It's primarily to call me in an emergency. My daughter is a single mum to three children, the youngest has epilepsy and often requires an ambulance. Whilst my daughter calls for the ambulance, my granddaughter rings me and I go straight round to look after the children whilst my daughter remains on the phone to emergency services and then afterwards while they go to the hospital.

Her phone is useless other than that. She still asks to play puzzles and games on other's phones as hers contains so little.

She has access to the phone only when not in school. She takes it out with her at other times just in case of emergencies. It's been used many times for 'that' call now - which I dread every time I see her name on the phone screen.

She doesn't seem interested in WhatsApp at all. There are very few messages from her to reply to. But she does actually need the phone - it's been invaluable.

No 8yo needs to own a phone, but they may need access to a phone in an emergency, these are two very different things.

Why can’t the grandparent buy a weekend away, trip or an overnight with 1k to spend? Make a memory with their DGC instead of buying a piece of tech that no 9yo needs.

Nope definitely too young for a phone

£1000- one thousand pounds??
On a phone for a 9 year old?

Apologies, Channel 4!

No it’s detrimental to their health and will genuinely just be a head ache for you! Not the grandparent hah. Watching my sister have to go endlessly figure out new ways to stop her child from accessing bad things on her phone is exhausting and she is very tech savvy

Could the GP perhaps donate the £1k they have easily available to throw away on tech for a young child to a children’s charity (Childline, Children in Need, a local children’s hospice are a few suggestions?)
Let the grandchild choose a charity and learn about children who don’t have the same opportunities in life.

Whose idea is it? I suspect 9yo wants to keep up with her friends and has asked GP for it. Otherwise I can't understand why GP would suggest this.

(Edited - his not her friends)

My DD is 9 (almost 10) and doesn't have a phone, she won't be getting one until secondary school and even then it will be either one of our old ones or a refurbished one and she won't be allowed social media.

Some DC in her class have mobiles and she would like one but I think it's ridiculous in year 5.

She has an iPad to use at home