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Original poster

Divorce - stopped paying the mortgage

43 replies

KnowinglyNice · 15/12/2024 18:49

I'm in the process of getting divorced and we are both still named on the mortgage but he has now stopped paying his half. He's a high earner and I'm on long term sick, the whole thing has been very stressful as been delayed for reasons outside of our control. He moved out and I live in the family home with our two children. Is this legal? Financial abuse?

OP posts:
user1492757084 · 15/12/2024 20:41

Take in a lodger.
You don't want to lose the house.

rwalker · 15/12/2024 20:46

Move out and rent claim UC because ultimately sounds like what you are going to have to do
give it back to him
unless you think you will be able to buy him out

how long gas thus gone on for

Nevermind31 · 15/12/2024 20:49

He has to pay his share of the mortgage, but you have to pay him rent for his half of the house.

Original poster
KnowinglyNice · 15/12/2024 20:51

Thanks for your suggestions. I don't to say any more as I'm quite scared of him.

OP posts:
Whyherewego · 15/12/2024 20:55

KnowinglyNice · 15/12/2024 20:51

Thanks for your suggestions. I don't to say any more as I'm quite scared of him.

Ok but setting aside this for a moment.

What was the plan you thought for the divorce? Did you anticipate keeping the house or selling it?
If you anticipated keeping it, presumably you anticipated how you could pay for it. If you are selling it then put all your energy into getting this sold so you can be financially independent of him.
As I and PP have said speak to the bank ASAP and see if you can go interest only or payment holiday whilst you sort.
Get a solicitor and get this divorce and financial settlement sorted ASAP.

Livelovebehappy · 15/12/2024 20:56

Surely you don’t want to be tied to him in any shape or form after your divorce? Not sure what the nature of your long term sickness is, but assume that you’re working towards getting back into the work place? You say the mortgage is small, and the house small, so could you buy him out? The eventuality is that sooner or later you’re going to have to split your assets and then go your own separate ways. He won’t be able to pay indefinitely towards the property you live in, as well as fund a place of his own.

Miley1967 · 15/12/2024 21:00

rwalker · 15/12/2024 20:46

Move out and rent claim UC because ultimately sounds like what you are going to have to do
give it back to him
unless you think you will be able to buy him out

how long gas thus gone on for

Uc won't pay rent when someone owns half of a house unless that house is on the market or steps being taken for her ex to buy her out.

FarmGirl78 · 15/12/2024 21:08

Mrsttcno1 · 15/12/2024 19:05

It’s called occupational rent. Where one person leaves and the other stays, because the one who stays has exclusive use of the property they pay their 50% of the mortgage and the other persons 50% as “occupational rent”.

Edited
Show quote history

My understanding of occupational rent is different to this. It's something he could claim back off her when he's paying all or some of the mortgage but not living in the property. It would be basically be him saying "I'm paying half the mortgage on this place but I'm denied the opportunity of benefiting from living there, so I'm entitled to claim back from her 50% of what the market rent would be".

However I think it's only usually allowed when couples cohabit without being married and jointly own a property, until they decide what's happening to finances eventually.

OH used the threat of claiming occupational rent from his ex to pursuade her to finally put the house on the market.

JohnofWessex · 15/12/2024 21:14

You need legal advice.

I was paying the mortgage on the Former Matrimonial Home up to the point where my ex wife b***d up her settlement my moving her new man in at which point the Court ordered her to pay it until it was sold.

Witnesses reported her subsequently beating him up in the street.

Throwaway0912 · 15/12/2024 21:14

Just to say, it's not just HIS credit rating that takes a beating when the mortgage isn't paid, it's also yours. It reports missed on both files, as a joint agreement means you're both responsible for paying it, regardless of who actually pays it.

Speak to your mortgage company as soon as possible, you want to mitigate the damage of missed payments wherever possible right now if you've any hope of buying/renting/remortgaging.

15storeys · 15/12/2024 21:20

Depends on the type of mortgage, but you probably have one where you are 'jointly and severally liable' which means if either of you stops paying the mortgage, the other is responsible for the payments (my mortgage lender went to great lengths to explain this when I got a mortgage with my boyfriend). Good explanation here: https://uk.practicallaw.thomsonreuters.com/8-200-1391?transitionType=Default&contextData=(sc.Default)&firstPage=true

Joint and several liability | Practical Law

Joint and several liability | Practical Law

https://uk.practicallaw.thomsonreuters.com/8-200-1391?contextData=%28sc.Default%29&firstPage=true&transitionType=Default

DeepRoseFish · 15/12/2024 21:22

Snorlaxo · 15/12/2024 18:56

You need to consider where you’re going to live long term.
I understand that he doesn’t want to pay the mortgage on a house that he’s not living in and that you may not have many choices financially. He’s damaging his credit rating but he may think it’s worth it to get revenge on you.
Your ex only has to pay Child Maintenance once assets have been split so if you can’t afford the house on your own or raise a mortgage then you’ll need to sell the house and move. If he goes for 50/50 custody (and he could get that) then no CM is due. He doesn’t have to pay your mortgage.
Do you have any idea what the house may be worth and what equity is in it? You’ll get at least 50% which may help you decide on some options which may include renting using your share of the house equity.

It is not true that no CM will be payable if he has the kids half the time. He is a high earner and will therefore most likely still be required to pay it.

DeepRoseFish · 15/12/2024 21:24

KnowinglyNice · 15/12/2024 20:51

Thanks for your suggestions. I don't to say any more as I'm quite scared of him.

If you are scared of him you need to seek advice from women’s aid. Please do OP. They are really helpful.

DeepRoseFish · 15/12/2024 21:28

Edingril · 15/12/2024 19:02

How is it financial abuse him not paying a mortgage for a place he doesn't live in,? You need legal help

Do you expect him to may for 2 properties?

She has the kids there and isn’t working. He shouldn’t just stop paying because he’s moved out. His kids are living in the house!

Women’s aid might be able to help you and you might be entitled to legal aid if you are being emotionally abused. You mentioned you are scared of him so get some support with whatever it is he is doing to make you scared of him.

Owl55 · 15/12/2024 21:29

Maybe talk to mortgage lender and they may offer a temporary solution??

Endofyear · 15/12/2024 22:22

Speak to women's aid and get some legal advice asap. It sounds like you either need to sell the house quickly or buy him out if possible.

ShinyShona · 15/12/2024 22:59

KnowinglyNice · 15/12/2024 18:49

I'm in the process of getting divorced and we are both still named on the mortgage but he has now stopped paying his half. He's a high earner and I'm on long term sick, the whole thing has been very stressful as been delayed for reasons outside of our control. He moved out and I live in the family home with our two children. Is this legal? Financial abuse?

The answer will depend on whether you are receiving child maintenance or not. If he pays child maintenance in full then it would not be reasonable to also expect him to pay half the mortgage. If he did pay half the mortgage, this would be grounds for a downwards variation of child maintenance anyway. Either way, the amount you are likely to receive is roughly what he should be paying in child maintenance.

You could apply for interim maintenance but bear in mind this is a red flag to the court that you cannot afford the property so I would only recommend this if you are confident that you will get it. The legal fees might exceed what you get too and there is no guarantee you will be awarded costs even if you win. It will also make the court reluctant to award a Mesher Order (if you are considering this) as they won't think it reasonable for him to pay anything more than child maintenance unless he is an extremely high earner. Although to be honest a Mesher Order is extremely unlikely these days anyway.

Your best bet is probably to:

  1. Call the bank and ask for a mortgage payment holiday;
  2. Consult with ex about paying the mortgage interest only until the property is sold;
  3. Ensuring you are claiming all the benefits you can as well as financial support for the mortgage (provided as a loan by the DWP).
ShinyShona · 15/12/2024 23:01

BIossomtoes · 15/12/2024 19:03

It’s financial abuse because he’s a co-mortgagee. It’s his debt too.

Show quote history

For the avoidance of doubt, this is not financial abuse. No one will get anywhere claiming it is unless their objective is to come across as unhinged.

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