Sexual harassment or just invading personal space

[willow2018]

long story short: when I was sitting on my office chair, an elder male came and talked to me. During the conversation he tapped my forearm with his fingers, although light and quick. Do you think it is sexual related?

At the same time I’m pretty sure he’s showing his dominance because the first day he joined our team, when I was talking to him he looked at others rather than me. And when he’s answering my question he still didn’t look at me😂He definitely knew he need to adjust because we need be on the same project for 6 months. So after the first day he talked to me normally but my gut feeling is that his real thought is to disrespect me…

I’m 20 years younger than him, he’s our project lead and I’m junior staff.

I’ve actually had a word with him the second day. The reason I didn’t speak out immediately was because I didn’t want clients hear( sorry I don’t want to be recognized so can’t say too much about that). I had a call with him because he didn’t come to client site and clearly told him he made me uncomfortable. Physical contact between men and women in the workplace is unnecessary and don’t do it to me again. I just want to know what other people think. I’m not a touchy feely person don’t really appreciate any physical contact even it is just a quick pat.

It doesn't sound sexually related but at the end of the day, you were uncomfortable & have made it known. I would expect now you have said, it won't happen again.

It wouldn't class it as harassment either, not just yet!
Hopefully now you have said, it will be the first and last time, and he respects that boundary!

I'm not a touchy feely person either. I hate people in my space. I wouldn't accuse someone of sexual harassment for touching my arm though, especially just the one time.

It's not harassment, sexual or otherwise. If it formed a pattern after you've asked him to stop then that would be different. Maybe just ask if you can move to a different project though as you don't like him.

Thank you all for your replies/ suggestions. I didn’t accuse him sexual harassment in my conversation with him, just told him what I felt and not to take it personally.

I kind of dislike him because at the same day after he touched my arm, I had some questions to ask him. He was sitting on his chair and I was standing. When he talked to me he use one finger pointing at me. I thought he wanted to touch me again so I quickly stepped back. But his finger was still towards me. Usually if people saw I stepped back then they would move their hands away, don’t they? And later that day I had to talk to him again and when he moved close to me I quickly move further away from him. Just feel like he invaded my personal space anyway…

Luckily the project will be finished in two weeks and he is our contractor so he’ll leave and I won’t see him anymore!

You have to honor your feelings. If it didn’t feel right to you, if it feels off or weird then stop it before it happens again, which you did, which is the best thing. Hopefullly he respects that.

@stargazerlil Thanks for your reply! I hope it won’t happen again. btw in your personal opinion do you consider it is sexual harassment? Or I might be a bit sensitive actually. But anyway I just expressed what I felt because I don’t want him do it again and then accusing me didn’t tell him first(although our project will be finished soon so probably will just meet him twice before it ends)

No because it’s not sexual in nature. But it doesn’t matter, if it feels wrong to you, then it’s wrong and he needs to respect your body, your space and your boundaries. He should not have touched you as he has no right to do so and he is not your friend.