How would you feel with him doing this? It is not normal is it?

[Bluebelnel]

Guy I have been seeing has a habit of not replying to messages for hours/days or not at all. I have spoken to him about this and he seemed to understand. Hours I can understand if he is busy etc. However, we were arranging to meet up so I messaged him a day that I could do and asked if it worked for him too. He did not reply and I did not chase it up this time either. He had seen the message by the time/day it was meant to be. I then messaged him and told him that our conversation about this was obviously pointless. Again he read and did not reply.

What are your thoughts on this?
It has irritated me and it's made me look at him as a little boy playing games. AIBU?
I feel that he wants a reaction.

He is late 40s, professional etc.
I know for sure he is definitely single/not married etc incase anyone mentions this.

How would you deal with this?

That ship has sailed

I'd assume he was not interested, ditch him and move on.

Stop chasing someone who clearly doesn’t want to be with you.

communication is a basic skill and the bare minimum of a relationship, it is not something you should be begging for.

move on from this loser.

There’s no need to ever contact him again. He doesn’t need to be dumped - Ignoring you is a clear enough message.

You can’t arrange anything with someone who doesn’t reply at all. So leave it now and don’t contact them ever again.

So he went 'yeah, yeah' to the conversation about Comms then let the time of the planned date go sailing past without cancelling so you could make other plans, or confirming?

Just ill mannered and timewasting. It would have cost nothing to say 'sorry but I'm not feeling it'.

Don't worry about whether he wants a reaction, simply delete.

Sorry but if a guy I'm supposedly in a relationship with can't be bothered to respond to me, HE IS DUMPED.

No I don't believe that is harsh. I'll respond to him.

He can't even be bothered to tell you he can't make a date. That's the true measure of his regard for you.

You can't explain to someone how to appear interested in you with a Big Chat and expect them to give a shit.

He's not bothered, and how you deal with that is to become equally as unbothered and move on.

I’d agree he’s not into OP but wouldn’t describe him as too polite at all….spineless more like!

I really wouldn't bother seeing anyone who didn't reply to my messages. It seems very clear that he's not bothered about seeing you so why would you continue with it?

Guy I have been seeing has a habit of not replying to messages for hours/days or not at all. ... How would you deal with this?

The first time it was days/not at all would have been the last time, because he'd have been dumped and blocked.

Why did you bother after the first time? How good an excuse did he provide? Why don't you value yourself more?

I would say that he’s already dumped you? In a very cowardly way, but ignoring a message to meet up suggests he’s got no intention of seeing you again. That would be my read on it.

So you don’t need to do anything other than block his number and move on.

Don’t put up with this next time - it’s not normal to have to harangue someone to agree to meet up. You deserve better.

Sorry OP.

Why block? Move on...absolutely... but there's no need for all this blocking. As far as we know, the bloke is just a bit of a twat, he's not violent or abusive.

I often forget to reply to messages/texts from family/friends for days at a time (sometimes weeks), sometimes I get too anxious to even read these so they go unread and unanswered but everyone knows I'm not being rude.

However, if I was seeing someone and trying to plan dates and they didn't bother replying even after looking at them then I'd just say he's not that bothered and move onto someone that's worth your time and I'd hope in the reverse if I was not replying the guy would do the same.

Don't waste time trying to date a guy that can't be bothered to set a date to see you or sent a 2 word text "sounds good" or "no thanks".

This isn't even game playing it's not interested and more or less ghosting, he's hoping you take the hint OP so he doesn't have to address the issue.

No reply after reading your msg is a reply. He's telling you he doesn't want to speak to you

What a fab sentence haha

He's trying to ghost you. And after your latest message he'll feel justified in doing so as you've chased him up and been arsey about it (not that you shouldn't have done it, just saying what he is prob thinking).

I'd let this one go. As pp have said, dick is plentiful.

So, you made rough plans to do something, he didn't confirm, then ignored you when you tried to confirm? I'd say that's about the strongest signal he could give that he isn't interested so I'd move on. What choice is there?

Move on. He is not that into you

There’s not much you can do except dump him unfortunately

He doesn’t give a shit about you. Don’t let him waste any more of your time.

Honestly, he's my age, I cba playing games like this. Either respond or don't. Don't keep me waiting for some ridiculous reason.

He is either a rude prick or just not that into you, either way I would block him. Can't be arsed with these fuck boys. It takes two seconds to send a text. Find someone that puts the effort in