To spend Christmas day alone rather than go to DPs family?

[Deargodletitgo]

I'll see DP in the morning then they are going to travel up to see their mother and brother's family. This will be their last Christmas with their mum as she is in end of life palliative care.
I've been invited but feel like while we have been together for a couple of years, I'm not close family and I don't want to intrude and make them feel like they have to entertain a guest. I'm happy to be alone for Christmas as my children are with their father but I'm spending most of the festive period with family or friends otherwise.

Am I being unreasonable to stay at home?

That's very sad for them. In their situation I would want it just to be immediate family, so I think you're doing the right thing.

Just ask them. I would hate to get it wrong.

Have you asked your partner what they want?

YANBU I’d definitely stay home alone.

They want to spend Christmas with me, but they will see me and spend time this week and the week after with me. I think it's more about the rest of their family. I've met them a few times, but I'm still not family.

DP perhaps worried I'll be lonely, but I won't be.

I'd think staying at home would be best but I'd ask your partner what they want as not everyone will feel the same.

I think I’d ask my partner what they wanted me to do.

If my DP wanted me to go I’d go, they might want you there for support or part of the memory. If you feel uncomfortable though you’re in your rights to spend it alone or doing something different.

I think in that case, I’d tell my partner that I’d be there to support them if they needed me, but reassure them that I’d also be perfectly ok at home, alone if they felt it might be inappropriate for me to go. I’d leave the ball in their court.

Depends where you would be staying. If in a hotel I would go and take a good book or something and just be there for partner. If he is staying with family I would probably not go.

If he has invited you. I think he may want you to go. Whether you know his family or not your going for him not them. Your his partner he’ll need you. If you feel it’s not your place then that’s your call. But without being nasty. If you’ve been with your partner for two years and don’t want/feel like it’s your place to be with him at a sad / monumental part of his life then yous are not really that “connected” or close. Id want to be there for him. And he’ll always you were there for him. Put aside how you feel and do what he needs