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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stressing over babys temperature?

22 replies

August24Mama · 15/12/2024 12:57

Hey everyone, I've been having a ton of anxiety about the temperature of the room when babys sleeping. My baby is 15 weeks old. I got a Gro Egg thinking knowing the exact temp will alleviate the stress, but if anything it's making it worse. I've been following the guidelines, but a few mornings now baby has woken up with cold hands. I dress her in a sleeveless vest, a babygro, and whichever sleepsack I pick but usually it's a 1.5 tog one.

The room temp stays consistently at 20 degrees c, give or take only a degree. I have three sleepsacks, a 1.5 tog sleeveless one, a 2.5 sleeveless one, and a 2.5 tog one with sleeves and legs. I've always remembered "A cold baby cries and a hot baby dies," so I haven't even tried putting her into the 2.5 with sleeves one as the room does be quite warm. But a few times my DD has had a blowout during the night when we're all sleeping, doesn't make a peep, and it isn't discovered until she wakes up properly in the morning, which makes me feel terrible. So I'm worried that she won't cry when she's too cold, and I'm just letting her be cold during the night. But then on the flip side I stress so much about her being too hot, as most parents I'm deathly afraid of SIDS, especially as she doesn't take a pacifier so I'm afraid of her risk being higher. She's EBF if that's any at all relevant.

Basically I'm just having a lot of anxiety, every night I stress about this. My DP is probably sick of listening to me, although he never shows it. How can I help her hands not be cold without overheating her? Her hands were always cold as a newborn but then stopped being so. Would she really cry when she's too cold? Should I be using the 2.5 tog instead? Am I thinking way too much into this and just stick to the guidelines? She doesn't really cry much at all, the only time she really cries is when she's overtired or gets a fright from one of us sneezing or coughing.

I'm so sorry for the long post, thank you for reading if you've got to this point.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 15/12/2024 13:05

It's ok to have cold hands as long as her body is warm. Do you still get sleepsuits with fold over mittens? If she is cold she will wake and tell you

dementedpixie · 15/12/2024 13:08

Next do sleepsuits with integrated scratch mits up to the 3-6 month size if that would make you feel she is warm enough. Don't know if other places do the same

DeffoNeedANameChange · 15/12/2024 13:09

Cold hands is honestly not a problem. What you describe in a 20 degree room sounds absolutely perfect.

Is she in the room with you? If you're worried about SIDS then keeping her in with you, no loose blankets, and "back to sleep" (ie putting her on her back) are the most important things you can do x

SleepyLlamaFace · 15/12/2024 13:12

Congratulations on your lovely new baby. I'm so sorry that your feeling anxious about the room temperature/babies temperature - once these niggles creep in they're hard to dispel.

I'm glad you recognise you may be focusing on this element a bit too much, and I would very gently agree. I'm not a parenting expert, but I have 4 under my belt, and happy to confirm in my experience cold babies will cry to let you know they're uncomfortable, even if they are happy to sit in their own dirty nappy. Mine rarely woke for a blowout, but as little wrigglers, would have a little grumble if they'd (once again) managed to escape their sleeping bags and got a bit cool.

You're right to keep in mind it's better to err on the cooler side, maybe scratch mitts might help if you really can't dispel this niggle. It's probably worth mentioning to your HV you're experiencing a degree of anxiety, it may not be past the post of needing further treatment, but better to have a record incase it gets any worse x x x

August24Mama · 15/12/2024 13:30

dementedpixie · 15/12/2024 13:05

It's ok to have cold hands as long as her body is warm. Do you still get sleepsuits with fold over mittens? If she is cold she will wake and tell you

Her body does be warm but not as warm as what she'd be during the day. She recently went into 3-6 month clothes and none have the integrated mitten, which is so stupid! Off topic but does anyone know why this is? Someone mentioned that Next do ones with mittens, will definitely be picking some of them up. I was putting socks on her hands at first but she's really good at getting them off to nom on her hands, so I stopped doing that to avoid anything loose in her bed.

OP posts:
August24Mama · 15/12/2024 13:31

dementedpixie · 15/12/2024 13:08

Next do sleepsuits with integrated scratch mits up to the 3-6 month size if that would make you feel she is warm enough. Don't know if other places do the same

Thank you so much for letting me know! Since she's went into 3-6 clothes none I've gotten have the mittens, which was so annoying.

OP posts:
TMGM · 15/12/2024 13:31

Isn’t 18 degrees supposed to be the optimal room temperature? Your current setup sounds safe to me, my 14 month old had chilly hands too, I think as long as their chest is a good temperature then they should be ok. Can you not ring your health visitor to ask the question to alleviate your worries?

August24Mama · 15/12/2024 13:33

DeffoNeedANameChange · 15/12/2024 13:09

Cold hands is honestly not a problem. What you describe in a 20 degree room sounds absolutely perfect.

Is she in the room with you? If you're worried about SIDS then keeping her in with you, no loose blankets, and "back to sleep" (ie putting her on her back) are the most important things you can do x

Yeah she's in the room with us, still in her next to me crib right beside me, even tho I'd guess in a month or 2 she's gonna outgrow it. Shes huge😂

Yeah I do all of the things you mentioned, luckily she can't roll just yet so I don't worry about her rolling onto her face or something. We used to use blankets and always tucked them in, but then she got strong enough to kick them out of the tuck, so switched full time to sleepsuits. Her not taking a soother does stress me, but she won't take any at all. Would rather suck on her hands haha. Thank you for your reply x

OP posts:
August24Mama · 15/12/2024 13:38

SleepyLlamaFace · 15/12/2024 13:12

Congratulations on your lovely new baby. I'm so sorry that your feeling anxious about the room temperature/babies temperature - once these niggles creep in they're hard to dispel.

I'm glad you recognise you may be focusing on this element a bit too much, and I would very gently agree. I'm not a parenting expert, but I have 4 under my belt, and happy to confirm in my experience cold babies will cry to let you know they're uncomfortable, even if they are happy to sit in their own dirty nappy. Mine rarely woke for a blowout, but as little wrigglers, would have a little grumble if they'd (once again) managed to escape their sleeping bags and got a bit cool.

You're right to keep in mind it's better to err on the cooler side, maybe scratch mitts might help if you really can't dispel this niggle. It's probably worth mentioning to your HV you're experiencing a degree of anxiety, it may not be past the post of needing further treatment, but better to have a record incase it gets any worse x x x

Thank you for the congrats, you're very kind. :)

I'm glad to hear that yours rarely woke for a blowout! I was so confused when she wouldn't haha, and concerned about infections and stuff from sitting in it but I asked my health visitor and she said it would be fine. Will definitely look into sleepsuits with mittens, I was gonna buy mittens on their own but she's very good at getting things off her hands. Think I'll definitely mention my anxiety to my HV, if it's not one thing with me it's another. It's honestly exhausting. Having such a perfect little baby reliant on me is stressful, I don't feel good enough for her. She's perfect and deserves the best and I constantly worry I'm not giving her that.

OP posts:
TMGM · 15/12/2024 13:39

August24Mama · 15/12/2024 13:33

Yeah she's in the room with us, still in her next to me crib right beside me, even tho I'd guess in a month or 2 she's gonna outgrow it. Shes huge😂

Yeah I do all of the things you mentioned, luckily she can't roll just yet so I don't worry about her rolling onto her face or something. We used to use blankets and always tucked them in, but then she got strong enough to kick them out of the tuck, so switched full time to sleepsuits. Her not taking a soother does stress me, but she won't take any at all. Would rather suck on her hands haha. Thank you for your reply x

Not taking a soother will likely be a blessing soon, you won’t have the habit to try and break when she’s around 12 months. I think the risk of SIDS with that is higher if they usually take one but don’t on that occasion.

August24Mama · 15/12/2024 13:40

TMGM · 15/12/2024 13:31

Isn’t 18 degrees supposed to be the optimal room temperature? Your current setup sounds safe to me, my 14 month old had chilly hands too, I think as long as their chest is a good temperature then they should be ok. Can you not ring your health visitor to ask the question to alleviate your worries?

Edited

That's what was confusing me, it's a good room temp yet she has cold hands. Her body does be warm but not as warm as during the day. I've been worried the gro egg is wrong, but I have a baby moniter that always matches the same temp. Gonna give my HV a text, I definitely think I have postpartum anxiety, it's exhausting worrying about everything all the time.

OP posts:
DreadPirateRobots · 15/12/2024 13:41

I recommend doing what I did: pitch the damn Gro Egg in the bin. All it did was stress me, particularly when the weather was hot and the room wasn't going to go below 28 degrees no matter what I did. I dressed the baby appropriately for the temperature and they survived fine.

Cold hands are nothing to worry about. Check the back of the neck instead. If it's warm enough, the baby is warm enough.

August24Mama · 15/12/2024 13:42

TMGM · 15/12/2024 13:39

Not taking a soother will likely be a blessing soon, you won’t have the habit to try and break when she’s around 12 months. I think the risk of SIDS with that is higher if they usually take one but don’t on that occasion.

I thought so too, but then she got into sucking her thumb and I was so stressed she'd be a lifelong thumb sucker. But it was only a phase for 2ish weeks and she doesn't do it anymore thank god! I'm a certified human soother 😂

Thank you for easing my mind about the SIDS, I didn't realize the highest risk was if they usually take one and don't on an occasion.

OP posts:
sugarplum33 · 15/12/2024 13:43

Babies who are otherwise healthy and well don't just sleep soundly through being cold. If she was a bit chilly she'd at least be restless and wakeful, if not protesting, just as you would be if you were cold in bed.

Try to have a bit of confidence in yourself and your parenting rather than overthinking it. The advice on sleeping bag togs is great but we all feel the cold differently and so there is no hard and fast rule about what is right for every baby. If her body feels warm and she's sleeping soundly then she's happy and perfectly dressed :)

Nc546888 · 15/12/2024 13:45

My baby’s room is 19 ish and I put her in 2.5 tog sleeping bag. (Sleepsuit no vest). I think 1.5 tog sounds too cold, I use that in spring time. I’m on second baby and pregnant with third so I just feel a bit more confident than I did the first time around when I was stressing about this. Feel baby’s bead when sleeping you can tell if hot or sweaty. And likewise they just look a bit chilly when sleeping when cold

August24Mama · 15/12/2024 13:45

DreadPirateRobots · 15/12/2024 13:41

I recommend doing what I did: pitch the damn Gro Egg in the bin. All it did was stress me, particularly when the weather was hot and the room wasn't going to go below 28 degrees no matter what I did. I dressed the baby appropriately for the temperature and they survived fine.

Cold hands are nothing to worry about. Check the back of the neck instead. If it's warm enough, the baby is warm enough.

That's honestly good advice, I worried about the temp a little before I got it. I thought getting it would alleviate all anxiety, turns out it made it worse! I was so surprised it made me more anxious, I didn't expect that at all.

OP posts:
OrangeSlices998 · 15/12/2024 13:46

Her hands are going to be cold if everything else is covered and cosy and her hands are exposed? The temp will drop slightly during the night unless you have the heating on to always keep it exactly 20? It sounds like this is causing you quite a lot of anxiety, I’d speak to the HV about that versus cold hands.

Orangelight23 · 15/12/2024 13:50

If she was cold she would wake up. Cold hands are normal. I second ditching the egg thing it is just adding to your stress.

MammaTo · 15/12/2024 14:05

Ohh bless, the stress of a newborn is unmatched! You sound like you’re doing everything right. You just want everything to be perfect for them.

I know this is 100% easier said then done, but just take a step back from information overload. I feel like it stops us from using our own common sense. I remember googling at 3am “babies hands getting cold at night” and telling my mum and her response was well yeah babies hands get cold of a night 😂 and I felt so silly! There’s so much information available to us at our fingertips and I really do think it overloads your brain and makes you so worried. Just take a breather and do what you think is best.

Edited to say my LO used to sleep through blow outs too - if anything he slept better when he’d done a poo and got it all out 😂

Collette78 · 15/12/2024 14:20

Cold hands are normal as long as her body is warm. What you’ve described for nighttime seems fine, she will let you know if she’s too cold.

I always kept to the cooler side of things too rather than overheat them. You’re doing fine 👍

Isitisit · 15/12/2024 14:24

I like the Next fleece sleep suits with a one tog sleep suit. They don’t have hands but they keep their body and arms warmer so hands don’t get too cold.

the highest risk for SIDS is the first four months so you are doing great. Post natal anxiety is horrible. My son was born in July and during the heatwave I was so anxious about SIDS when the room was 25 odd degrees and I couldn’t cool it

user2848502016 · 15/12/2024 16:38

I remember HV saying to check if they were cold by touching their back or chest rather than their hands.
Sounds like the room temperature is perfect

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