MIL pissed off

[ChangeofAir]

MIL phoned yesterday evening to invite us both for Sunday lunch today.

DH has things planned to do in the house (DIY) and I'm working today so he said no we can't.

She said 'oh but I've got everything in, can't you just come for an hour or so'

I work from home, flexible hours so technically I could but I really want to get things done so I can have more of a break over Xmas. And technically DH could but he was planning to fix our shower (it's been broken and we both hate baths!)

So it's not impossible but I hate changing plans and it was last minute, we can't just drop our lives.

She's really 'hurt' and pissed off now.

AIBU?

A bit more notice would have been good and a bit presumptive on her part that you'll be free.

It's the assumption we'll just drop everything! Why on earth not give more notice, and buy food before you've checked

Well next time she should ask in advance and not buy the food before she asks

Also she's approx an hour's drive away, so not like we can just nip in

You have a right to turn down an invite from her. You are all adults. She is responsible for her own feelings and surely can survive feeling pissed off or/and disappointed.

Good for you and your DH for sticking to your plan as opposed to trying to please her.

Did you tell her it was because you were both already busy and had plans? As she might be annoyed that you just don't want to if you hadn't.

If you had, then it's her tough for not inviting you sooner. As she obviously planned in advance to buy the food (unless she bought it for someone else who then cancelled...but it may well just be an assumption that you will always come to hers when asked).

YANBU.
I would not dream of inviting my adult children or their OH’s at the last minute, especially this time of year. Of course they would already have had plans.

I’d say her reaction is a problem for DH, not you!

More fool her for shopping before checking she’d have anyone to cater for.

Seems unlikely this is completely new behaviour?

bit unfair not to mention it and ask beforehand. as said this time of year people are up to their neck in things. when you work weekends are sacred and usually busier than in the week!

Inviting at the last minute and then sulking when people can't attend is very childish.

Is she normally difficult?

Agree short notice and a change to your plans , but she suggested an hour ?
How long would it take to prepare , make & eat your own lunch plus no mess to tidy up !

The OP said upthread that she lives an hour away. So that’s three hours out of the day.

Very! I've started not being such a push over (normally her guilt trips work) but I've had enough

She was devastated when she didn't get s birthday present from DH this year, because I didn't sort one, like usual.

But I was the bad person??!!