To leave my career

[Treebarkle]

After 20 years working in my degree area, I'm finding it hard to find motivation to carry on. On a gender and ethnicity basis I'm a minority in the area I work in, but I'm not sure if that is a factor.

I work for a company with flexible working, but I'm exhausted every day trying to balance child and elderly parent home duties and workload. I haven't had more than a 2 week break in 20 years and recently found that health challenges make me tired more easily day to day.

I need to finish paying for our family home, student debt and making sure there isn't a situation where my remaining parent doesn't have financial difficulties which means staying employed. I need a rest and want to take a break but financially it might mean a reduction in education for one child and will take longer to pay off household debts.

I would like to try a more fulfilling career that involves more time with people, but would be more financially challenging and would.involve more financial stress and might not be the right choice.

Any advice?

You sound like you have a lot on your plate. Why is that? Is there nobody to share the load?

Siblings? Extended family? Children’s father?

It's quite hard to change career unless you have a secondary source of income eg an inheritance as you'll be back on the lowest level of pay. Can you afford to do this?

Siblings live far away and not much extended family unfortunately and children's father is around and available for the kids but doesn't quite understand all their needs. There are others around which is helpful, but not enough to take on the full responsibility and welfare of the kids and parent.

Agree that career changes are hard. I think it is the difference between staying in a career that might be mentally detrimental but financially advantageous Vs a career that is mentally positive but less financially beneficial. There is no safety net which means the career changes is probably not the best option for our family so it is best to carry on.

I'm in the (un)fortunate position of not having children, so I can afford to take more risks. I've done 25 years as a clinician in the NHS and I've just applied for a community social type job that needs no qualifications and is just above minimum wage. I will have enough to pay my bills and save a smidge so long as I watch my normal spending.

It will be a 4 mile drive from my house rather than the 25 miles I currently drive. I could even come home for my lunch if I wanted!

I am shitting my pants. It seems just so utterly irresponsible when I've never even done that job before. Irresponsible but very exciting. It could be the worst mistake I've ever made in my life, but I'll never know unless I try. Worst still is that because of the changes in my job and qualifications I couldn't even apply for my own job again if I wanted to go back. The door will close behind me forever. My current frame of my mind is joy interspersed with mild hysteria.

Could you ask for a sabbatical? Or use parental leave or something to give yourself some thinking space?

Its very hard to make a decision when you have so few breaks. First, take your holidays, figure out finances and what kind of pivot you might be looking at.
If it is a big company, you may even find something internal that gets you excited again?