After 15 years of pretty much being single would you give up on idea of relationship?

[Elizo]

Am late 40s, single 15 years (apart from short term relationshiis that didn’t stick). Nothing but a few dates over last 6 years. Fairly content generally, but would love a partner. Feel so single can’t really imagine it. I don’t feel gutted to think I could be single forever - but still a small hope to meet someone, even after all this time. Have one DS who is rápidly aporoaching adulthood which is making me think about companionship. I know quite a few women late 40s / 50s on who seem to have decided/ accepted it.

YABU - to give up hope
YANBU - best to assume you’ll be single - highly unlikely at this point

You still have a long time left to live so if you want to share it with someone then it’s definitely not too late.

My mum decided at 50 that she never wanted another relationship and has been happily single ever since.

But that’s her preferred way to live and it sounds like you’d like to be with someone so don’t give up if that’s what you want from life. It’s definitely not too late 😊

I don't understand why you'd give up looking for a relationship if that's what you want? How is that a good idea?

You do have to date constantly though. No one loves it but it's a numbers game. The occasional date isn't likely to find him/her.

I think this is the thing. I find dating a drag. Been on so many over the years. I just do the things I enjoy which don’t bring me into contact with many/ any suitable/ available men. Maybe 2025 will be a new leaf

I'm roughly the same OP. One ds who will be off to university in less than two years,

I've been single since he was 3. I had one relationship that lasted 5 years but ended in 2017.

I'm generally happy, good job, nice home, decent income. but affection and intimacy might be nice. I haven't given up hope. I meet new people through work and take the view that tomorrow might be the day I meet someone decent and available. There is always hope. 🙂

I’ll latch onto your positivity vibes.

I agree with theduchessofspork

If you want a partner then you have to work at it or just resign yourself to staying single. It's very rare for the right man to just pop up out of nowhere!

I'm slightly older than you, but was your age when I gave up. I decided that any value I could get from a relationship wasn't worth my time and effort in finding and maintaining one. I hated dating. All the same old questions in the getting to know you stage, often for nothing because it didn't progress. No one "excited" me either. Every date felt like a chore. I don't miss it at all.

Sometimes I feel a slight sadness over it but not enough to actually do anything about it.

There's pros and cons and only you can decide.

I'm 46, been single ten years and I have no desire to change that. I don't have the motivation to date anymore or deal with someone else's issues. I know that the flipside is a loss of intimacy but that's the price I pay.

To paraphrase Karen Carpenter, one day I might see that I've been wrong, but for now it's the way it is.

Do you do OLD? The women I know your age who have met new men i5s all being through OLD…..apart from one who met someone in the gym. How much are you putting yourself out there? If you want it then don’t give up.

I went on two dates this year 😂will aim for more next year. Even finding a suitable date is a lot. But yes, should try harder. I’m quite shy in bigger groups so that is tricky. But good 1-1, smaller groups.

37, never married, no kids. Single 17 years. Celibate all that time too (not sure if this is through choice or not...? I wouldn't mind a bit of fun but....how?)

Anyway, I assume I will be single forever.

At most I might be able to find the odd questionable, unsuitable, unavailable man to sleep with but I'm not hopeful for a relationship like other people have. Seems to be something that happens to other people. 🤷🏼‍♀️

That’s funny. People find love at any age! Mainly you have to be open to it and not closed off.

I do think that these days it’s so much work to find someone worth being with that it’s only worth it if you really want all those things.

Also, I’m sure years ago women had a much lower bar and just married anyone who they thought would make an okay husband. Now I don’t think we see the point if it’s not someone you really want to have sex with or someone you’re mentally stimulated by.

From my late 20s I was single for more than 10 years with no real dates. Then I met my husband and had 2 kids. I just decided most guys weren't for me. My DH is 10 years younger so wasn't exactly what I was looking for but we complement each other well.

It’s not so much my age it’s the length of time I have been single. But never say never 🤣

I'm 59 and been single for about 17 years.

I adopted my son when I was 47 and really had no time, energy or inclination to even think about looking for a partner. I'm now a foster carer and feel the same.

My son is at university and building his own life. I will give up fostering when I'm 65. I've built a good life based on the needs of my son and now the children in my care. I've got fabulous friends, the cat, my allotment, well rooted in my community.
I'm content with my lot. I'm not looking for a partner but not closed off to the idea. I'm just carrying on, doing my own thing. Life and the future will take care of itself.
Although many moons ago my brother was a trainee painter and decorator and worked a lot in old people's homes and came home frequently with stories about the weddings. So I quite fancy getting hitched at 90 with a toyboy of 80 !

You sound v cool! I am living my best life which ever way and will make the best of it!

Well you sound like someone any 60 year old man would be lucky to date!

I imagine that dating around 60 would become easier again because most people have their own established lives and there’s no ‘will we have kids, buy a house, be accepted by in-laws ? etc.

It's been 13 for me and now I don't want one

He’d have to be Jesus or something, no way am I putting up with less than from a man ever again.

I think there comes a time when you've been single so long it will be a struggle to compromise and share with someone else. Also, the dating pool isn't great.

But meeting someone can happen at any time.

So true. I think you can absolutely meet someone any age. I don’t know many people who have been single for quite a few years and then met someone. It does happen, but is less likely I think

Same boat here OP. I can't even sustain a friendship let alone a relationship so I do think that's me alone for life now.

Dogs? Easiest relationship to maintain 🤣🐶