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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell you that if you want to cancel your attendance at your Christmas do, do it!

15 replies

EveryMinuteEveryHour · 14/12/2024 12:26

My christmas do ( a whole day thing and night ) was yesterday. I felt hideous as I'd checked come on, knackered ( iron deficient ), checked my bank balance which didn't convince me going on a pub crawl was a good idea either and decided I wasn't going. I had a lot of messages from people I'm not especially close to telling me I'll miss out etc and trying to convince me to come. Fwiw, I was going alone so wasn't letting anyone down with travel arrangements or anything and it was a pub crawl as a last minute plan with lots of people. Years ago and for about a decade now in this industry I'd have been peer pressured into going but think time I politely and firmly stuck to my guns. I didn't lie either, I told them I'd never missed one but this year I wasn't feeling great and wasn't up to it. I had a night in on my sofa whilst DH was on nights, watching Sabrina Carpenters christmas show with a whole camembert and the M&S garlic dough ball tree to myself in my pyjamas. Ny phone was on charge in the other room, my candles were lit and it was BLISS. Anyway, this morning I've had a coffee with the one person I'm closer to at work than others and it sounds like the do was an absolute shit show. I won't go into outing detail but I'm here to remind you that if you don't want to go to whatever festive day of forced fun your company has planned for you, you SO don't have to and you never know the next day you may be very glad you didn't! This also goes for spending elongated periods of time socialising with people you don't want to at Christmas in any other capacity.

Merry Christmas from corporate Scrooge ( formerly a people pleaser ) x

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 14/12/2024 12:43

Love this Grin

I'm also not going to the massive Christmas party this week. Too many pissed people telling me shite they wouldn't dare if they were sober.

Took my team out for a nice dinner the other week, very civilised.

Jumell · 14/12/2024 12:45

For me Xmas Dos are more ‘Xmas Don’ts’

Jumell · 14/12/2024 12:49

I so needed to read this today OP and you’re SOOO right x

Also to be blunt when I was in a similar situation in 2004 I wished work people would just F off and take no for an answer !!

PassAggJumper · 14/12/2024 12:58

Absolutely. This year mine and OH's fall on the same day, we're buggering off by ourselves on a little mini break instead.

GogAndMagog · 14/12/2024 13:19

Pub crawl sounds awful.

However, I've returned to work after many years doing numerous part time jobs to fit school hours and there is no Christmas do of any type!

I go into the office but all meetings are on teams and it would be nice to see real people in the flesh.

StonwEd · 14/12/2024 13:22

Agreed! Ours has been rearranged for January - on a Sunday! I wasn’t going to go in December, there is no way on this planet I’m going out drinking on a Sunday night in January 😂😂 got some funny comments yesterday but I do not care, I’ll be home cosy and sober and getting a good nights sleep and that is worth way more to me x

MiddleAgedDread · 14/12/2024 13:26

I haven’t been to my work so since before lockdown. Makes me wonder why I spent so many years sacrificing a Friday evening to shout loudly and eat crap food with people I don’t really like!

Dove6FromAbove · 14/12/2024 13:29

I swerved the firm Christmas party this year too. Normally I go to everything. It was a two hour round trip so the travel put me off, and I'm just not feeling social this year. Been a tough year. I heard apparently the food was rubbish, some people's taxis didn't arrive and the awful weather made the whole thing a bit of an ordeal.

GreyBlackBay · 14/12/2024 13:31

I hate things like this so I just decline the invite.

However I think it's extremely rude to drop out at the last minute. From listening to friends people are getting much more flakey and it's shit when half the group doesn't show up when they said they were.

Learn from this and politely decline next year, or if others feel the same as you propose a more suitable Xmas do.

TotallyTwisted · 14/12/2024 13:32

Way ahead you my friend! Never planned to go in the first place. Grin

EveryMinuteEveryHour · 14/12/2024 19:16

Pleased to read these responses lol, glad to be of service! Had another day doing very little today and it was lovely.

OP posts:
EveryMinuteEveryHour · 14/12/2024 19:17

Dove6FromAbove · 14/12/2024 13:29

I swerved the firm Christmas party this year too. Normally I go to everything. It was a two hour round trip so the travel put me off, and I'm just not feeling social this year. Been a tough year. I heard apparently the food was rubbish, some people's taxis didn't arrive and the awful weather made the whole thing a bit of an ordeal.

Christ! Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, a Sunday! In January! I don't blame you for not going hahaha x

OP posts:
PumpkinPie2016 · 14/12/2024 21:07

I don't blame you - didn't even sign up to ours.

I honestly couldn't think of anything worse than sacrificing mu Friday night for a meal I didn't particularly want with colleagues, most of whom I am fine saying hello to but wouldn't actively seek out to spend time with.

I had a lovely, cosy night at home instead 🙂

secretsandsins · 14/12/2024 21:34

I don't ever go either. I really do like my work colleagues but I like my family more. I know it's 'one night' but they already get me 40 hours a week.

I never sign up in the first place as it's always inconvenient. I'm glad the people who do go enjoy it and have a good time but no thank you.

drspouse · 14/12/2024 21:38

My work Christmas do is a bring and share in a work building at 5.45 on Monday. DH is taking DD to a fairly distant activity at 6 and I somehow don't think it would be DS idea of fun. Added to which we had less then s week's notice.

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