Over the past 3 years, since meeting my current partner my mum has been quite awful to me. Not all the time, but some of the things she has said and done have really changed how I view her. I think it's a lot to do with the fact I was living with her and then met my partner and so eventually moved out. She also dislikes my partner (she actively dislikes him and tries to find reasons to slag him off).
She will say some really out of order things and then gaslight me, saying she has never said this stuff or never acted horribly. I has MS, and she will often say 'it must be your MS making you think like this'. Which I think is pretty cruel, when she knows the things she has done.
Anyway, for a long while it has caused a rift between me and my sister, as my mum will continually go to her after every arguement we've had, trying to get my sister on her side. My sister has often been offish with me and I just know it's because of what my mum has said (I also got shown a lot of messages on my mums phone to my sister, of her doing exactly this). Recently however, me and my sister have been becoming close again. However, I've had another massive fallout with my mum after she has tried to dictate who should be invited to mine at Christmas and then made me feel bad for certain family members being invited (ones I get on with well). I posted a previous post about this saying I had cancelled Christmas at mine. Long story short, my mum has yet again got to my sister, and my sister is choosing to meet with mum today instead of me.
I simply can't keep going in circles with my family like this. Continually being at the end of my mums nastiness and then being gaslighted into thinking I have caused it all, or it's all been in my head. It's making me really resentful. I am considering just cutting them from my life, although this seems extreme. Prehaps I should greyrock? Does anyone have any tips for how to do this?
Even writing this, I am questioning whether I am blowing things out of proportion. But if I were to list everything she has done over the past two years, it's quite shocking. Is this normal to have fall outs with your parent often?