To cut a long story short.
My friend left her DH and 3 kids and ran off with another man.
She barely sees her kids and is very focused on her new life and has admitted she just wants this new life.
They have been together less than a year and she’s about to give birth.
So she’s no angel.
We have stayed in touch but not as often because she’s chosen her new life over seeing me and tbh I have lost a lot of respect for her since abandoning her kids.
However, I met her today and there are a couple of red flags.
1.She never BF any of her 3 kids and refused to even try because she was so against it.
However, today she was upset because her bf is telling her that she has to BF and she has no choice not to and it creates an argument any time it is mentioned.
He has not allowed her to buy any bottles or even a dummy (so she says).
I have told her that it’s her body, her choice etc but she said that it’s his baby and so he has more of a say.
2.She is also getting upset and panicking because she doesn’t want him leaving her during the night at the hospital.
She has said she can’t cope if he doesn’t spend the night (even though she spent the night alone for her other 3).
Now I will admit I am biased as I am very against men staying overnight and so I’m not sure if I am BU or not for being concerned.
There have been a couple other red flags about him before.
It feels like he is very much in control but I’m not sure if it’s that or shes just doing everything he says because she basically left her whole life behind and posted all over FB about how happy she is with her new life and I wonder if she is now in a situation where she feels she can’t say no.
It’s probably a bit of both.
My AIBU is whether I should try and contact the midwife or not and explain that there may be some controlling behaviour from him.
For me it feels like he doesn’t want to leave her on her own overnight in the hospital and that’s a real concern for me.