ASD Assessment and schools.

[RuRed]

Hi, so I don't know if this is just a vent and it would be nice to have POV's.

my son is going through neurodevelopmental assessment for autism and adhd. He is 8 nearly 9.

we have had his one to one appointment and I have had the parental consultation all forms have been filled in by myself and his school.

Today was his school observation, I wasn't supposed to know but he came out and told me there had been an inspector that had watched him so I put two and two together. I emailed the school after 3:30 to get confirmation as his teacher was off sick.
Got back a shi**y email saying yes it was and that I wasn't supposed to know and that they would give feedback to the lady that came as his teacher was off sick.

I'm now worrying that the teacher being off will of messed everything up, my son will of reacted differently to his 'normal self' with a stand in, and no proper conversation will of been had about his needs in school.

anybody else been through this!? I think I just need to chill and stop overthinking. I just don't want anything to disrupt the process.

There is always someone up for deeper discussion isn't there lol. Thank you for your reply, it's reassuring. We've come so far I probably just need to stop obsessing over details - thank you x

Please do not worry my son is an extremely good masker no one realized that he had any problems until he had a big mental crash at 12 and wasn’t diagnosed with ASD ADHD and PDA until this year at the age of 18 thankfully the 2 ladies he saw were able to see through the masking
he had two separate assessments due to information not being passed from one local authority to another just more issues that didn’t help the situation.
I am sure they will have seen what they needed to see to make there decision
I hope it works out well for you and your son it’s a long hard road to get to a diagnosis

Why were you not meant to know about the assessment?

We have been in the clinic and he had an hour session without me.

i have had a consultation which was nearly 2 hours

and then finally they have observed him in school, incognito lol. Which I get, he isn't supposed to know he is being watched so they can get a true feel of his social and communication difficulties.

i think I'm just venting that his teacher happened to be off when he had the observation and then the school are just like "yeah we'll call them" after all the time and effort that it's taken to get to this point. I do think he's probably dropped some of his usual masking techniques with the shock of a different teacher, part of my over thinking brain thinks it might have been on purpose. Who knows! Anyway it's now the wait for diagnosis, or not! I'm really not bothered for a label, it would just be nice to know why he acts, reacts like he does which is not typical and also causes so much anxiety.

It's sad that you have to jump through so many hoops so your child can be assessed. This must take its toll on children who are ND, as well as you as parents.

Thank you, that's really reassuring. I just feel so bogged down with it all obsessing over every detail.

I really appreciate your reply xx

Easier said than done, but try not to worry. The HCPs will have come across the class being taught by someone other than the normal class teacher during an observation (or some classes may not even have a permanent class teacher). It should be something they are aware of.

I have found it brutal, start to end you feel like you are trying to prove their behaviour is not just caused by bad parenting but maybe that's just my perspective - the time it takes leaves plenty of over thinking into if you are doing the right thing or not. Luckily he had a really supportive teacher that did say this would be better for him in the long run, which I do believe it will be. Diagnosis or not, he will still be the same gorgeous boy and we will still be the loving parents continuously supporting him to thrive in a world he doesn't quite seem to fit in to xx

You literally did ask if I was ok. No I do not have issues at all. Disagreeing with someone is not 'having issues'. I was trying to educate you on the meaning of the terminology as you were misusing it. I do know who created the terminology - not personally but her work is well known and documented. The terminology was not created for that purpose at all. It was created to talk about all brains being different. I thought you would know the history but my bad.

Thank you - you are right - I just felt so frustrated like it was just our luck that his teacher was off. He has said to me tonight after I've told him who the inspector was that he has felt more like his normal self at school than he usually does - which bodes well for diagnosis x

So that there is no suspicion that the parents have attempted to sway the results - either to stop the diagnosis by drilling the child in what to say during the assessment to appear more NT or to encourage it by filling them with blue food colouring and espresso - even where there is absolutely no suspicion that they might do this it still ensures a neutral result.

ETA: also, by the time it gets to assessment, lots of parents will be preparing their child for the day ahead just by second nature. I always talk my child through the day as I help her get dressed in order to minimise anxiety / meltdowns. If she were due an assessment of any sort I would remind her of that just like I'd remind her of spellings at primary, or that today is PE, or that she has a club at lunchtime, or whatever, and if an assessor needs to see how she reacts to the unexpected then that would be unhelpful, however much it is necessary or just part of the parent's ordinary day.

i'm glad we didn't know. He would of acted differently, in the one to one when he knew what they were looking for he was perfect Peter, I'm hoping they saw through him the complete lack of eye contact might of been a give away x

@schmeler
Please go off and start your own thread if you want to have a philosophical debate about wheter people can be 'NT' or not.

You really are not helping a Mum who has come on here asking for support.

it sounds simple but it has taken 11 months from referral

Wow, it would be lovely if children were seen and assessed in that time elsewhere in the Country..

@RuRed I agree with everyone else that his usual teacher being off won't hamper the assessment, and potentially might help, if his usual teacher being there might unsettle him.
However, psychologists, specialist teachers and the like are very used to observing dc and (IME) in 95% of assessment the staff that usually work with the child tells you "I've never seen him do that before / he's not usually that chatty / I can't believe how chilled he is today / this is SO unlike him" etc etc. They will be able to see past it, and will note how much intervention / differentiations / support is in place, and, as pp said, will be observing interaction with other children, with adults he knows (and doesn't know).

Plus, of course, this is only one part of the whole procedure and they will also be aware of potential masking in school.

If anything, I think this might go in your favour. As harsh as it sounds, on the day of the assessment, you want your child to struggle as much as possible. You want the assessor to see them on their worst day. I teach in a school with a high percentage of ND children. The ones who mask well or are what used to be called very 'high functioning' can go for days or even weeks giving little to no signs in school that they are ND. For some of them, it's only when something is different or wrong for them that it becomes obvious. If your child is like this then the more out of routine they were the better.

so when was asking if you are ok was implying your mental??

I was generally concerned that maybe because you wanted to delve into terminology I had used instead of maybe giving a helpful POV of someone who has been through the process was because you have some issues!?

You did not comment on anything else in my post, you did not offer advice or support, you wanted an argument so I was generally concerned maybe you are not ok. as with most people that want to start such discussions on the internet. I would suggest your own thread on the topic and discuss at free will rather than using mine.

I don't doubt there is research into the terminology, and some people agree and some don't but this is not what my post was about.

We are lucky, a private clinic suddenly started to take NHS right to choose and I had inside info due to my job about their waiting list, I was straight on it as any parent would be given the choice. My heart goes to those waiting longer 11 months has felt like a lifetime xxx - W'yokshire for anyone following x

So pleased for you @RuRed

The waiting lists for so many services are just shocking.

I know, it's overwhelmed. I would suggest to anyone going through the process to ring around local/semi local private clinics to ring around and just check they are not taking NHS right to choose - we did drive 2 hours away for one to one but they have visited his school and then parent consult was on video call. It's worth checking x

and just to add to this - my GP had no idea, I told him about it !!!

You are so right, and after chatting to him tonight I think he might just have had one of those days where his masked has slipped at school. Playtimes are always the same he plays by himself so I wasn't worried about that but from what he says he's struggled with the change of teacher so I'm taking that as a win. He can go weeks masking to an exceptional level and melting down before and after school also to an exceptional level but today after school he was regulated and said he'd been himself in school and it did make me think what version of him had she seen! I'd love to be a fly on the wall. Thank you - I know this makes me sound sound like I'm desperate for diagnosis but what I'm desperate for is validation and support xx

Our assessment involved the assessor meeting with my son and asking lots of questions and doing role play activities. I sat through it and watched silently. It was so obvious then. I saw things I never realised before. He was 9/10 years old.

We also had a SENCO saying ' no problem here'. During observation they watched him in the playground which gave a great deal of information. They see things that pop up even if your child was masking all day.

No one should be observing anyone's child without the parent knowing when it will be happening. I would absolutely not do this.

I have to disagree, for all the reasons above.

I mean, with the understanding that the parent were aware it is something that would happen at some time (as OP had). Far better for any observations to be just as part of the normal ins and outs of the classroom, than a big anticipated day, which therefore doesn't present a 'typical' picture.

Not relevant in this case, but I've also had a child not turn up when the EP was going to observe them, and used that time to steer them to the next person on the list, rather than have the EP leave the building. No way was I going to lose that valuable hour because the parent didn't know in advance. Parents have always been delighted their child got boosted up the list.