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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Instinct of danger

30 replies

FeetupTvon · 13/12/2024 18:01

Earlier this year in my local area there was a random attack on two young women by a man. Sadly one of the women died.
Before the man approached these women he had approached two other women and as they had ‘a funny feeling’ about him one of them barked like a dog (apparently her mum had told her to do this so as to cause attention) the man then walked away but sadly set upon the other two victims.
A witness also said that he had seen the man beforehand and also had a strange feeling about him so walked a different way.

So, my question is, has anyone else had a strange feeling about someone which has turned out to be true? Should we always follow our gut instinct?
I do recall in my teenage years walking along a very deserted road alone and a car pulling up further up the road, so I would have to walk past it. Suddenly another person walked up and I remember asking if I could walk with them past the car so I wouldn’t be alone. (Before the days of mobile phones)

OP posts:
BeensOnToost · 13/12/2024 23:20

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 13/12/2024 18:35

I have no gut instinct. The people I have instantly disliked on sight have often ended up being very good friends subsequently. I've been treated badly by people for whom I have had no feelings either good or bad.

So if all this instinct and lizard brain is real - why do some of us lack it so totally? It isn't that I used to have it and ignored it, I genuinely never had it in the first place. I never get gut feelings about people.

Did you have a safe and sheltered childhood? I read that people who grow up around unpredictable adults grow up to be people who read a room very quickly because it helps them learn who they need to adapt themselves to be at any moment in order to quickly identify and de-escalate a situation when they feel the atmosphere change.

SallyWD · 14/12/2024 09:01

Quitelikeit · 13/12/2024 22:45

@SallyWD that is truly horrific

One of the most evil crimes a person can commit in my view

God knows what makes people do this stuff in the first place!

Indeed, the worst thing is I'd known this man for a while and really thought he was a nice guy. I had no inkling he was capable of such a horrific crime. Apparently, he was found under the woman's bed, shaking and crying. I think he had some sort of breakdown. That doesn't excuse it, and he is clearly very dangerous. He was put away for a long time.

RosemaryRabbit · 14/12/2024 09:21

We have a lot of acquaintances in our town due to DH being involved in the local music scene. We have met a lot of very lovely people this way over the years. There is one guy however that gives me the creeps and I feel sure he's a dangerous misogynist. I was thinking about this yesterday, before I saw this thread. He gives me danger signals and I feel that he would be a date rapist or worse. DH hates me saying this but I feel adamant these instincts shouldn't be dismissed.

RosemaryRabbit · 14/12/2024 09:23

Should have added- I will hopefully never find out whether my instincts are right or not but I'll certainly continue to avoid him. He's not invited to a party at our house this Christmas, for eg, because DH is respecting my discomfort.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 14/12/2024 12:48

BeensOnToost · 13/12/2024 23:20

Did you have a safe and sheltered childhood? I read that people who grow up around unpredictable adults grow up to be people who read a room very quickly because it helps them learn who they need to adapt themselves to be at any moment in order to quickly identify and de-escalate a situation when they feel the atmosphere change.

Not really. My mother was a very volatile individual and I could have done with a warning system for when she was in one of her 'difficult' moods. But I never acquired one.

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