Am I unhinged?

[Whatisssthis]

I have really strong and intense reactions to things. I don’t feel in control of my emotions at all. Some people say they’re going to have a great day etc but I always wonder how they know that as my day can be totally disrupted by someone else as my emotions are largely hinged on other people’s interactions with me. I can go from happy to angry or happy to sad in literally seconds. What is wrong with me? I’m 34.

Hiya. You touch on a few things I reckon.

How do you plan to gain control over your emotions? Look that up and try a few things out.

People say they are going to have a great day because they choose to take on that thinking as a sort of overview to how they want their day to go.

You are 34 and that is the perfect time to dig deeper in life - to learn how to play the game of life.

Me, I think we come out of our youth with a set of cards in our hands and they are either good or bad cards. It is our task to swap them out, to resolve issues, learn things, learn how to adult and win at life. Then it is our task to choose the games of life we wish to play and see how far we can go with them - this or that career, this or that skill, to develop oneself, to achieve something - whatever it might be.

My advice to you is to dig into why you are as you are and then work out what you can do about it.

There is no way I would allow other people, some of whom are not very good, to disrupt my day to the extent you let them. You are not a gun that people get to pick up and fire, causing consequences for you and those around you.

Take control - and enjoy it x

Have you seen a psychologist? Extreme mood swings can be an indicator for mental health conditions. Do you have other things challenging you like impulsivity or risk taking? Can you keep organises with bills and housework? How about other aspects of social interaction do you feel comfortable with eye contact or that you are understanding what the person means? Is your sleep normal? Anxious?

Some people are just like sponges for the emotions of others without it being a mental health condition. You could just be really empathetic

Neurodivergent, hyper sensitivity and emotional dysregulation is very common. Also your interpretation of another person taking about having a good day is quite literal.

You should definitely read Doing the work by Dr Nicole Lepara

Could be any number of things. Could be nothing. I'd get a GP appointment and say what you've said here because you probably need an assessment if the extremes of emotion are disrupting your days.

It's normal to have an emotional reaction to practically every interaction. I'll scroll through Facebook for example, (or Mumsnet) one thing "oh no, awful" next thing "haha hilarious" next thing "so sad"...

This is normal, the only not normal thing is that you are posting it as a "problem" so to speak, inferring you possibly react openly to these feelings and emotions,?

Lots of people have feelings, acknowledge them, move on. Don't cry, slam doors or smash something up. Is that what you're doing?

How do you know your reactions are intense? Or more intense than other people's?

What do you mean by "I don’t feel in control of my emotions at all."? No one can control the emotions they experience but we learn to process them without acting out and making our emotions someone else's problem.

If your emotions can change so quickly then why are you taking them so seriously?

I suspect there is nothing wrong with you apart from a fear that momentary discomfort, be it emotional or physical, means there is something wrong with you.

I'd recommend thinking about yourself less and accepting you are a human being having a human experience. Or you can waste thousands on therapy trying pathologise normal.

Do you scream in the Sistene Chapel?

CBT might be helpful for you in gaining control of your reactions.

It's hard for us to say whether your emotional reactions are too intense or just normal. You could try doing meditation or mind control exercises to learn how to modify and balance your emotional responses if you feel your reactions are too easily triggered or too intense.

You might also be interested in trying out this questionnaire to see what it brings up and any insights it might offer as to your type of personality.

https://www.16personalities.com/

It’s more that I might feel extreme anger. For example if alone in the house and I’m angry I might scream for fucks sake. I don’t think that’s normal? Is it?

I wouldn’t never harm anyone, it’s not that sort of feeling but I just hate how much my day can feel out of control sometimes as I’m so upset or angry etc

Err yes, it's normal.

My rate of FFS's is about 2000 (slight exaggeration) a day, occasionally said through clenched teeth but more often said with a frustrated sigh.

My neighbour regularly swears and throws things when he's doing DIY. He's completely normal in every interaction I've ever had with him.

I just remind myself that my emotions won't kill me and they will pass.

Stop obsessing about what is normal.

If you are easily moved to extreme anger, you can say you are definitely not of a phlegmatic, calm and serene temperament. It might be innate, a part of a highly strung or impatient and irritable personality or it could be as a result of
hormones or a mood disorder such as depression or anxiety or some underlying life issue that you are silently seething about that keeps bursting out through the surface.
Our moods and hormones can be affected by lifestyle, the food we eat, strains in family, the work environment, frustration with our life or career or just with oneself and all sorts of things. It is possible to cultivate a more peaceful and sunny disposition, with practice.

Changes in lifestyle or direction could help if there is an ongoing life dilemma fuelling these angry outbursts and you are not happy about them. Some people find meditation helpful. Maybe hypnotherapy would be something to consider as well.

@FOJN i mean loudly shouting it and clenching my fists though. I really can’t envisage any of my friends doing that and I’m too embarrassed to ask.