To be so bloody angry at this I can hardly type straight

[lisalisa]

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I expect he watches The Apprentice. He probably also couldn't believe his luck when your DS actually agreed to his price. And then your DD.

Lisa - do your children get pocket money?

Natural Development, twig?
I wouldn't accept this behaviour from a 13 yer old, a 3 year old or a 30 year old. I wouldn't have dreamed of behaving like it myself at any age.
In what way is it natural?

I can't express an opinion yet because I don't know what gobstoppers are.

it is down to egoism fllight and the natural development of empathy being later in the teenage years due to the development of the frontal lobe here's some info if interested

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TBH I would have confronted him but it would have been in a totally different way...

More, sort of.. 'nice try matey, you have been rumbled and you aint getting away with £13 for gobstoppers so I will just stand here while you give me back some of the dosh'. All said with a grin on my face.

There is no point in getting upset with him and FWIW he hasn't mugged your kids - he has made the most of an opportunity.

Thanks Twig, that is interesting. I agree that of course responsible behaviour is not so much of a given in teens, but I hold out that I wouldn't have behaved like that and neither would any of my friends.

It's pretty nasty.

twig that's a good link, the part of the brain that govenrs impulse control and consequences/conscience just hasn't formed properly until late adolescence.

I expect a part of him know what he was doing was wrong but another side of him just couldn't resist.

As for 3 year old or 30 year olds doing this yes if a 3 year old of mine did it I'd be chuffed that I had such an entreprenurial, precocious little genious on my hands. If a 30 year old did it I'd think them personality disordered or emotionally and cognitively v immature.

TBh I think it's unpleasant but nasty is too strong a word. But maybe I've just become immune after working with stroppy, selfish, impulsive adolescents all these years

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It's ok to expect them to know what's right from wrong but with SOME 13yr olds it's v v hard to resist the urge to act NOT accordingly.

I feel it's unrealistic to expect 13-15 year olds to have excellent impulse control and ability to think through to consequences. Adolescents live in the moment. yes they have rudimentary empathy but they're extremely self-obsessed and egocentric.

When they're wrongs are pointed out to them in a helpful not critical demonising way they usually show genuine remorse and a behavioural shift (although this can take some time in some v wilful cases)

their not they're

my ds(14) would be in big trouble if he'd done that. he wouldn't anyway. i'd be livid and shaking too if i was the op.

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lisallisa... glad you feel better about it. I'm sure this 13yo is a bit of a scally but sometimes you have to get down to their level maybe, and appeal to their better nature! Glad its getting sorted for you