To feel guilty for needing 5 mins?

[bizzyizz]

My one month old baby is cluster feeding these past few couple of days. This afternoon I have found it a real challenge as the crying has been intense. Baby doesn’t want to be put down and just wants to feed constantly, is having longer wake windows and seems overtired and unable to fall asleep after.

I can’t put her down for even 5 minutes without her crying and I feel guilty about leaving her cry, I can’t bear to hear it. Equally though I could really use a shower and something to eat and just generally a 5 min breather. I type this one handed while feeding. I was in the kitchen earlier getting a glass of water whilst she was in the living room crying and I wished out loud for a break and then immediately felt terrible and selfish, it’s not her fault that she needs me so much today. One day I am sure I will look back and wish I could come back to this phase of life just for a day.

I have lots of family support but none who can help today and a very hands-on DH but he is working till late.

I know it’s so normal and I love my baby very much, which is why I feel lousy for not being able to just embrace it this afternoon.

It's ok to take 5 minutes. You're doing really well. It will stop eventually! Don't be hard on yourself

You need to eat and have a shower. She is fine to cry for a bit, I promise.

Take 5 mins baby will be absolutely OK. Congratulations on your new baby x

It's ok to put her down for a few minutes to look after yourself. I know the early days are so hard, and the crying is so difficult but a few minutes is fine.
"Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others"

Leaving a baby to cry for 5 minutes whilst you have a shower is not going to do any harm. Pop her in the cot, she'll be fine

No harm will come to her if you leave her for 5 minutes in order to eat/have a drink/have a shower/have a poo in silence! I promise you.
It doesn't last forever, it will get easier. Sending you lots of unMumsnetty hugs!

This must be really tough but you do need to look after yourself too x

Please please please eat and shower. You will feel so much better for it, and your baby will not be traumatised. Eating is especially important if your baby is cluster feeding- those calories have to come from somewhere!

You have NOTHING to feel guilty for- you are neither terrible nor selfish.

If she was your second or third baby and you had toddlers needing you suddenly and urgently, she would have to wait. It happens. She will be fine.

I have a 2 month old baby and sometimes I put him down for a minute or two to make myself a brew or nip to the loo, even if he's crying. I bathe when my partner gets home and make sure I bath every single day and have a long, relaxing bath. You're doing amazing, your baby will be okay crying for a few minutes while you have a coffee or a piece of toast x

I put baby into car seat, throw on a bit of white noise and bring them into the bathroom while I shower.
I also put baby into a Sling while I make a sandwich or whatever.

You don't have to do those things, you can let them cry, but I'm like you and feel awful when babies cry.

Op I’m in cluster feeding hell and have just come on to search threads on whether this is normal. Baby is constantly feeding to point of being sick, I’m exhausted. I’m glad I’m not alone, I’ve had to put down for a few mins to pee and get drinks etc. we’ve got this, hope you are ok xx