To not force feed my child

[Cantfeedwontfeed]

Posting in AIBU for traffic - please help me!

DS is 3 months old - born on the 50th centile and dropped to the 9th within 6 weeks thanks to poor latch. Tried everything to stick with EBF but no joy, so started mix feeding - BF first, then bottles of both expressed milk and formula.

This seemed to work and DS started gaining properly, following the 9th centile. However, 2 weeks ago he decided to start refusing bottles - he now won’t take them at all from me and only when he is starving from DH. He’s dropped off his curve again and is heading rapidly towards the second centile.

What on earth do I do about this?! He’s still rubbish at breastfeeding so it can’t be his only source of food. I can help maintain supply by pumping but then he won’t actually drink it so what’s the point?! Advice so far has boiled to down to just forcing him to drink, which i really don’t want to do.

Sorry if this is a dumb question but is it absolutely definitely the latch? We had exactly this and ended up going from 25th to 0th(?) centile and diagnosed failure to thrive, a week in hospital, he wouldn't take bottles, and ended up sticking with EBF and I went dairy free and he magically started putting on weight, without changing our technique at all. He's 1 now and walking and eats like a horse, still dairy free. His system just basically wasn't taking what it needed from my milk, I don't really understand it but it absolutely worked for us. All the best it's SO stressful and tiring xx

I went through this qith my LG, she would only drink bottles while asleep, it's called a bottle aversion, there's a book on amazon that should help you seeing baby is so young, don't try to force as it will make it worse. Book is called bottle aversion by a lady call Rwanda I think.

This is the book

Agree with all advice to seek fairly prompt medical advice.

It's incredibly challenging but I'd try all the things @Tillow4ever suggested to see if you can get any more milk into him.

My son failed to gain enough weight on breast milk and initially refused bottles but we had some luck with the cheapest £1 supermarket bottles. It may be a case of trying lots of things and hoping something works.

Deffo recommend the Feeding aversion book. There are even facebook groups and you can buy a session with a trained person if you really need it.
The thing to remember is - there is help out there.
Babies are not allowed to starve in the UK. If your baby needs tube feeding for a while - is not the end of the world.
My little one was born 75th, down to 10th, now up at 50th.
Xxx

I would agree with those suggesting getting a paediatric referral. My DD was born on the 90th percentile and dropped to the 5th at one point. The paediatric team was a great support. She eventually settled on the 25th and remains on that now she’s at secondary school! They never found anything wrong with her apart from being a bit rubbish at feeding.

Have you tried nipple shields? I used them for my first born who also had a poor latch and was mix fed. They were a game changer for me.

What HV/GP assessments have bern done and what advice have they given?

Is he otherwise well-wet/dirty nappies/responsive efc?

Are you sure he's not getting anything from you?

I'd get some baby scales and weigh before and after feeds.

Mine fed little and often for a while, so tiny amounts as his latch was awful and he tired easily. I'd just go to bed for a few days, lots of skin to skin, constant boob access and see if you can get some food into him.

Also a doidy cup worked for mine from about 15weeks.

This.
I’d be at the gp first thing tomorrow

I’d be trying different bottles / teats if you can access any

does he have eczema? Could it be milk allergy at all?

Thanks for so many responses to this and good things to try. He’s currently on MAM bottles with a slow flow teat (because also breastfeeding) - I’ll try a faster teat first, then see if we have any joy with other bottles (I’ve got some avent ones lurking, but will honestly buy any number of bottles if it helps!)

Re: medical input, he’s on 2 weekly growth monitoring with the HVs, which he has so far “passed” - he has his next appt tomorrow. The next step is a referral to Paeds for tests etc, which I imagine will be the outcome of tomorrows appointment.

He’s had his palate checked as part of the newborn and 6 week checks - it’s a little bit high but he has no symptoms of a cleft. When he takes a bottle he can drink perfectly well - the issue is refusal rather than any significant mechanical dodficulty in drinking from them.

He’s had a bit more scrutiny than average as his older sibling does have a genetic disorder - we are 99.99% sure he doesn’t have that one, but we are well acquainted with our local geneticist and I’m sure he could be referred if needed. It feels more urgent to find a practical solution to the feeding issue - I know from bitter experience that diagnosis doesn’t necessarily bring about a change of management, you still have to find a way to feed your child! (Certain treatable metabolic disorders excluded, but they are very rare and he doesn’t have any symptoms…)

I had very low milk supply and use to pump to increase it but I also used a feeding tube taped to my nipple which succeeded in getting more food in the baby and stimulating my supply. I only managed to do this 3/4 months and my supply never got good so we phased in formula at that time.
Dehydration is a concern if they are not drinking enough.

He’s being seen by the HV’s tomorrow as he’s on regular growth monitoring, and will be referred to paediatrics if they are concerned (which seems likely).

I’m not concerned in the short term about his hydration status - he’s breastfeeding, his wee is crystal clear with loads of wet nappies and he’s bright and alert. GP will just take the same approach as the HVs I think - which is refer to paediatrics.

If you get to the point of trying different bottles, see if you can get hold of a Dr Brown. The teat shape is totally different to Mam and it was the first one that SALT recommended to us. They are expensive so if you have to buy, only buy a single in case he doesn't take to it. We eventually settled on a Nuk teat / bottle but it was a hard slog to get there. Despite trying Mam several times, DD has never taken to it.

Sounds like you have a plan - I found DS would change his preferences up all the time so keep trying! We were the same, baby not dehydrated and looked happy enough / alert / playing etc but then would take 30ml at a feed when weeks before he was necking 200ml!

It did also coincide with agressive teething for us (he had six teeth through almost together by five months), have you tried some teething gel / ibuprofen beforehand?

Just a note that the lansinoh teats fit on the MAM bottles so don't buy the bottle etc