I think im having a breakdown

[xxoverworkedandanxiousxx]

Thats it really. I feel like I am failing at everything. Single mum of 2 but they only go to their dads 1 night a week, eldest in high school is such hard work at the moment, everyday is a battle to just do simple things, he keeps getting himself sent home from school for various reasons (bullying was involved and is being dealt with, but he genuinley just doesn't want to be at school) and his dad lives over an hour away so it is always upto me to go and get him and miss work. They ring me for anything saying he has been sick so he cant go back for 48hours yet there never seems to be anything wrong when we get back.

My job is quite full on and I am struggling to get it done. House always seems to be a mess even though i always seem to be cleaning/tidying. Im skint and in debt.

Been feeling low for months and got put on antidepressants months ago but this last week i feel awful. Today i cannot stop crying, rolling panic attacks one after another and i just feel so alone and sad.
Feel like i have no friends, no future and genuinely can't remember being happy. Then i feel guilty because i love my children so much.
I feel like i am juggling so much and neglecting myself but I don't know what i can do to make it stop.
Kids dad refuses to help me more, my family will help when/if they can but all work full time and have their own lives, im on a waiting list for therapy but don't really have high hopes abouy that.

Im sorry for the gloom. I've just had enough.

I’m really sorry to hear you are feeling so low. It sounds you like you have a great deal to contend with and it’s all too much.
I can’t think of solutions at moment but just want to say I’m thinking of you 🌸🪷🌸

That sounds so difficult. No wonder you're at breaking point.

I don't know if you just want to scream into the void and get some sympathy so if you're not looking for suggestions then ignore the rest of my reply.

First things first, can you take some annual leave from work (do you take what you're entitled to, even if you can't go "on holiday" you still have the entitlement to the time off) and have that as one less thing you're doing for a week or two?

What age is your eldest? Is there an alternate school or is he old enough to go to college instead? Have you tried saying that you are unable to collect him immediately and have they tried calling his dad? Yes, I know he's an hour away and won't do anything but at least if they also call him he might see just how often this is happening.

Do your DC have any chores they are responsible for? Can they be?