Going out in evening

[LucySp1]

I have a 21 month son and ever since he was born I’ve done most of the childcare and all the bedtimes/nights etc.
my husband works full time and I’m part time so he expects that to be my role whilst he provides financially.
some of my friends have invited me out for an evening event in a couple of weeks. I’ve not been out in the evening since my son was born 21 months ago. I mentioned the event to my husband and he said “how can you go to that?” Even though he’ll be at home with our son.
My son has only ever been out to bed by me so it will be unsettling but my husbands immediate response upset me. Am I being unreasonable going out just once? The first time in 21 months…

Your DH needs to start taking turns at bed time. You've got a night out soon to enjoy!

You know you aren't being unreasonable. Why didn't you just reply I can manage that because you, the father, are here to take care of your child.

That's ridiculous and your husband is a bit of a dick.

You work part time and so he expects what to be your role? All of parenting? If so, then you are far exceeding his full time hours! What a pisstake!

Has there been any discussion prior to this about the fact he does nothing? And what did you say when he questioned how it was possible for you to go out?

You know you aren't

This needs sorting out or it will get worse

You are a partnership, you get equal time off and time out, and that means he does a good chunk of parenting.

Tell him you're going and he is parenting, and his trip to the 50s is officially over. Divvy up the household tasks too.

I would genuinely divorce a man who behaved like this

Unless you're breastfeeding your son to sleep every night, I don't understand why your husband has never done bedtime.

What is he doing while you're putting your son to bed?

Go back to work full time and make him do half the childcare. You'll be glad you did from a financial perspective when you wake up and divorce the misogynistic twat.

This is awful. I wouldn't just be going out for a night, I'd be booking a weekend away with friends as a start.

21 months and he has never done bedtime? Better late than never I suppose…enjoy your night out, long overdue!

Obviously YANBU to go out for a night with your friends and naturally expect him to look after your child, but YABU to have got to this point and not shared parenting from Day 1.

Of course you should be able to go out! Why have you not shared putting your little one to bed though? Start making DH step up and do his share. You need to get your son used to Dad doing it too.