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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To stop giving money? (Work)

5 replies

Onoorew · 11/12/2024 19:24

Where I work it is quite hierarchical. I am seen as reasonably high up the pecking order but I only earn 65k. We constantly have emails circulated asking for money for birthdays, leaving dos, qualification events, arrival of new baby, Mat leave gift and more recently a paternity leave whip round. In November I had five emails asking for money. This isn’t unusual. If I don’t respond I am chased on the instant messenger . I have a child at nursery and a single parent and I literally don’t have money to throw at things like this! AIBU to think this is very unreasonable and the company should put a stop to it?

OP posts:
Speakingofdinosaurs · 11/12/2024 19:33

Onoorew · 11/12/2024 19:24

Where I work it is quite hierarchical. I am seen as reasonably high up the pecking order but I only earn 65k. We constantly have emails circulated asking for money for birthdays, leaving dos, qualification events, arrival of new baby, Mat leave gift and more recently a paternity leave whip round. In November I had five emails asking for money. This isn’t unusual. If I don’t respond I am chased on the instant messenger . I have a child at nursery and a single parent and I literally don’t have money to throw at things like this! AIBU to think this is very unreasonable and the company should put a stop to it?

If you're high up I would propose a change in policy. So..,,
•leaving dos - yes
•maternity & paternity - something from the company only like a bunch of flowers and a card
•birthdays - no
•everything else - no

or circulate a tickbox feedback form asking what people are happy to contribute to.

bifurCAT · 11/12/2024 19:35

I agree, implement a tin/envelope policy. This way people can put in what they feel like and it's all anonymous.

coodawoodashooda · 11/12/2024 19:35

I'd expect EVERYONE would be grateful that this was reviewed.

StarrySquawk · 11/12/2024 19:35

I'm mid at my job. I'm skint. I give £5 if it's someone I work closely with. I don't donate if it's someone I barely know.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 11/12/2024 19:41

Great idea. You could propose this or even get up a petition. A card with a thoughtful message from colleagues is enough to remember people by. If individuals or a small group of close colleagues who know the person specially well want to present a small gift, that's up to them.
I'd suggest that rather than have whip-rounds for the actual cards, there's a call for a volunteer to buy one each time. They don't need to be expensive.

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