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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think home ed families are going to have to accept more oversight?

822 replies

DrZaraCarmichael · 11/12/2024 18:09

To try to prevent more cases like Sara Sharif. Taken out of school - where teachers were raising concerns - and then apparently fell off the radar.

Yes children's services have to look long and hard at themselves but taking a child out of school, especially when there has been previous SS involvement, has to raise a whole field of red flags surely??

I can see how families who are home educating for the right reasons and who have nothing to hide will see this as intrusive and unnecessary. But something has to change, right?

OP posts:
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AwardGiselePelicotTheNobelPeacePrize · 12/12/2024 21:50

Because I imagine there are loads more adults present than in the playground. Please correct me if HE clubs are drop and leave and expose kids to a wide range of social backgrounds. I am prepared to be proven wrong on this, as I say I am wondering about it.

user0243 · 12/12/2024 21:53

AwardGiselePelicotTheNobelPeacePrize · 12/12/2024 21:50

Because I imagine there are loads more adults present than in the playground. Please correct me if HE clubs are drop and leave and expose kids to a wide range of social backgrounds. I am prepared to be proven wrong on this, as I say I am wondering about it.

There are many groups where you drop your children for the day. Some children love this, for others (many of whom are neurodiverse) this doesn't work and they are more confident around people they know.

Helpme100 · 12/12/2024 21:53

FridayFeelingmidweek · 12/12/2024 21:48

It's not an attack on home schooling parents. Obviously most are good but it is unjust that children can just be removed and not checked on. Surely noone supports this. Yes, sadly there will be awful adults in all walks of life and jobs. I guess this very emotive thread does have a uniting theme: that we all want children to be safe abd well educated, just Different views about how that happens.

I think it is emotive as you say.

Often the DC who have been removed from school have been badly traumatised and made very unwell so not safe or well educated. But noone cares as long as they attend school. Minute you keep them home where they are safe and can be well educated then they want to check up on them! It can be pretty galling!

FridayFeelingmidweek · 12/12/2024 21:54

AwardGiselePelicotTheNobelPeacePrize · 12/12/2024 20:18

As a home educator for nearly 5 years now I can honestly say I have not met one family who does not have their children's best interests at heart (and I have met a lot!)

Might that be because parents who home ed as en excuse to bring their kids up as radical Christian / Jewish / Muslim zealots or beat them up on a daily basis don't attend the same nice HE groups as the rest of you?

What you are essentially suggesting is that anyone who is at home with their children is an abuser.

You are suggesting no-one is. Which is more likely to result in harm to children?

Edited

They make such an ignorant/naive comment too to say they've never met a bad family. As if they or anyone would know! Abusers, especially of children and women, are incredibly good at coercive, controlling and deceptive behaviour.

PorridgeEater · 12/12/2024 21:55

I think if a child is withdrawn from school there should still be a way the safeguarding lead can make regular visits.

Helpme100 · 12/12/2024 21:55

AwardGiselePelicotTheNobelPeacePrize · 12/12/2024 21:50

Because I imagine there are loads more adults present than in the playground. Please correct me if HE clubs are drop and leave and expose kids to a wide range of social backgrounds. I am prepared to be proven wrong on this, as I say I am wondering about it.

Some activities are drop and leave which increases as they get older. They are exposed to a much wider range of social backgrounds as mix with kids from all over rather than just one area.

Userdfgh · 12/12/2024 21:57

Changeagain3 · 12/12/2024 21:36

Well it's logical that if schools safeguarding process and Social services can't actually protect a child who is known to be at risk with much recorded evidence I don't know why you think we need more protection for home educating children.

Surely school children should be protected too?

Of course but that's not the point of this thread.

Helpme100 · 12/12/2024 21:57

PorridgeEater · 12/12/2024 21:55

I think if a child is withdrawn from school there should still be a way the safeguarding lead can make regular visits.

Personally I think the safeguarding lead would do better to spend their time safeguarding the DC suffering trauma in their own school primarily, rather than going around scaring traumatised DC being kept safe at home.

user0243 · 12/12/2024 21:57

PorridgeEater · 12/12/2024 21:55

I think if a child is withdrawn from school there should still be a way the safeguarding lead can make regular visits.

If there are concerns about the childs safety, absolutely!
If they are removed because the school have failed them, they have no rights whatsoever to make regular visits.
They are schools, not social workers.

Nowdontmakeamess · 12/12/2024 21:59

user0243 · 12/12/2024 21:13

This is batshit!!! You think schools care more about children than their parents do? What a bizarre attitude!

Are you serious? The whole point of this thread is that some parents do not care about their children at all - they abuse & kill them - so in those circumstances of course teachers would care more about them than their own parents.

Newname71 · 12/12/2024 22:00

Chowtime · 11/12/2024 18:20

How many times do I have to attempt to explain this simple matter.

Sara Sharif was taken out of school to be abused. She wasn't taken out of school to be honest educated - that was a lie.

Leave the home schoolers alone and save your energy for the abusers

But without agencies checking this how do you know why a child has been taken out of school. No one’s having a go at homeschoolers, but there needs to be adequate safeguarding in place.

user0243 · 12/12/2024 22:00

FridayFeelingmidweek · 12/12/2024 21:54

They make such an ignorant/naive comment too to say they've never met a bad family. As if they or anyone would know! Abusers, especially of children and women, are incredibly good at coercive, controlling and deceptive behaviour.

No it's not ignorant, it's based on my experience. Not something I've read in the Daily Fail that's got me all angry with no evidence.
Sara's case was horrific but there was a huge amount of evidence before she was removed from school.

Peonies007 · 12/12/2024 22:01

DrZaraCarmichael · 11/12/2024 18:09

To try to prevent more cases like Sara Sharif. Taken out of school - where teachers were raising concerns - and then apparently fell off the radar.

Yes children's services have to look long and hard at themselves but taking a child out of school, especially when there has been previous SS involvement, has to raise a whole field of red flags surely??

I can see how families who are home educating for the right reasons and who have nothing to hide will see this as intrusive and unnecessary. But something has to change, right?

Home education already includes safeguarding checks - when child is pulled out.

user0243 · 12/12/2024 22:01

Nowdontmakeamess · 12/12/2024 21:59

Are you serious? The whole point of this thread is that some parents do not care about their children at all - they abuse & kill them - so in those circumstances of course teachers would care more about them than their own parents.

Most of those are not home educated children!

TheHateIsNotGood · 12/12/2024 22:03

Just jumping in.....but I quit a job because, amongst many ethically and morally related reasons, they made a great business (and still do) out of running certified educational courses for kids from primary age; many of whom who are otherwise educated down at 'the mosque'.

Educationally, they get the results, but I was too uncomfortable with the segrational (self-imposed) aspects and majorily the desire to flip off the taxman.

The resonance of Sara Sharif's abuse and the ease of using 'the mosque' or any church as a reason for withdrawing a child from mainstream ed/society rang in my ears.

Peonies007 · 12/12/2024 22:05

Wellingtonspie · 11/12/2024 18:27

Home ed children be checked on / in with regularly.

Id say at least once a month. A proper qualified person within child welfare and education. This should include a way for children to know how to alert for abuse just like women at midwife appointments.

Children should not be able to just disappear.

But surely that includes all children in school holidays and all under 5s too?

Changeagain3 · 12/12/2024 22:05

Userdfgh · 12/12/2024 21:57

Of course but that's not the point of this thread.

Isn't the point of this thread about a child who was killed by her family. A child who had been abused her whole life (while attending school), was known to social services who had removed an older sibling from the danger but left her there to be abused.

A child failed by the system meant to support her.

A child who should have been protected.

Awful situation but seeing as she was failed by social services who are awfully underfunded I don't know why home education should be the scapegoat.

A. This doesn't address the problem of underfunded lack of staff in social services.
B. If we check up on families who have no history of risk, haven't had a safeguarding red flag but are home educating then even more resources get diverted from the children who need them

Peonies007 · 12/12/2024 22:08

ElsaGreen · 11/12/2024 18:34

She was taken into care previously? Wow, if this is true why is this not being reported...

It is truly bizarre that this story is being used to try and paint a negative picture of home educators.

Twice. And seemingly elder full brother was adopted. Aside from the other full sibling that gone to Pakistani

user0243 · 12/12/2024 22:09

I agree with your point but you are talking about extremism.
It's not the same thing.
What you are talking about sounds like an 'illegal school'.
Home education is for the majority of people, teaching very similar subjects to what they learn in school but at a pace the child can work with and in an environment where they are safe and happy.
Most parents have to satisfy the education authority that they are providing a suitable education on a regular basis.

GlovesScarfAndBoots · 12/12/2024 22:16

Userdfgh · 12/12/2024 19:50

Years ago I was a specialist social worker employed (by a forward thinking council) to assess and assist parents who home educated. Parents were offered an initial social work assessment by me and a curriculum assessment by an education advisor. I had to interview children and obtain their views on their situation, experiences of home education, hobbies, sporting and social activities, friendships as well as assessing their general welfare and home environment. If I identified any child protection concerns these were escalated to the safeguarding team. I had also had powers to apply for a court order requiring parents to enrol their child at a school identified by me. These powers still exist but the job I did does not. These roles need to be resurrected across the country with a change in the law to make the assessments compulsory not voluntary.
Traditionally, elective home education was chosen by parents who resisted any attempts at state involvement in their lives. The resistors were often well educated in their rights and the law and would refuse any involvement, others were desperate for any support and welcomed us. It's these resistors that have for years successfully lobbied against any state involvement and I see some of them have been commenting here. To those people I want to ask them if a compulsory visit from me once a year is really such an imposition when it could potentially save a child's life or stop them being further abused (and it has).

This highlights that the appropriate legislation and powers are already present and that it really is a funding and workforce issue.

All the batshit ideas and assumptions of what home education is and isn't by people on this thread who don't seem to have any clue also gives some insight into why many home educators might be reluctant to engage with state involvement. The risk of encountering prejudice and ignorance from people in a position of power over them must be quite a gamble.

GrouchyKiwi · 12/12/2024 22:17

AwardGiselePelicotTheNobelPeacePrize · 12/12/2024 21:50

Because I imagine there are loads more adults present than in the playground. Please correct me if HE clubs are drop and leave and expose kids to a wide range of social backgrounds. I am prepared to be proven wrong on this, as I say I am wondering about it.

Like a lot of HE kids my kids go to Cubs/Scouts with kids who are at school. They go to camps etc and spend a lot of time together and have made lovely friends.

They go to church and have made friends with schooled children there.

We join a choir group for primary-aged children run by the council every year and they've made friends there.

They go to chess club at the local library and have made friends with school kids there.

They go to the park and make friends with the local kids there.

My eldest is autistic, but she's good at making friends because she's had the safety of home to learn confidence and do things at her own pace. She has to learn how to handle her sisters, who are VERY different from her personality-wise so there's plenty of ... negotiating that goes on with them.

My family's in NZ, so we've made trips over there, and they've made friends with their cousins, who they hadn't really met before.

My kids can talk to people of any age - they love chatting with our neighbours, most of whom are elderly.

The whole socialising thing that people think home ed kids don't get is just another myth.

I'm not going to pretend that every parent who says they're home educating their child is doing a good job. Like parents of schooled children there are those who are lazy and neglectful, and obviously we've seen what happened with poor Sara. But like parents of schooled children, the vast majority of home educators want what's best for their children, and either school has failed them, or they have decided that home is the best place for learning, and putting unnecessary boundaries in the way of that isn't going to help children like Sara.

As I've said previously, I don't object in principle to the idea of oversight. I just don't trust the government/LAs to make good rules, and I don't see how they can possibly provide the staff, given how thinly stretched services are already.

Peonies007 · 12/12/2024 22:19

maltravers · 12/12/2024 16:02

Surely the starting point should be to promote child safety? Children in school get some sort of oversight, however faulty. Those who are HE will not if the parent does not choose to take them to the GP, outside classes etc. So the state should organise a regular review of HE children away from the parent. To identify the hopefully low percentage who are using HE to abuse their child.

When one of my DSs was younger he had a few accidents (scooted into a lamppost, fell while he was scrambling around some rocks in the park etc). A&E questioned both me and him quite closely (and separately) and so they should. We should accept a reasonable level of scrutiny to keep children safe in the same way we accept DBS checks IMO.

Ehat about those that were abused in school and in fear of authorities? Or those that are autistic and hate meeting new people? LA don't have enough qualified Education Psychologists to even deal with EHCP's, never mind trained in neurodiversity properly.

usernother · 12/12/2024 22:20

Good home educators live in a bubble, where they and their children mix with other good home educators. They seem unwilling to believe that some people remove their children from school for reasons other than to educate them.

Peonies007 · 12/12/2024 22:23

Alltheyearround · 12/12/2024 16:33

In fact the opposite. LA's making parents join long wait times for tribunals even though it is obvious that professional reports and advice should lawfully be added to EHCPs, and that some children do just need a specialist school or specialist provision. The wait for justice is for both children in school and HE children where EOTIS is requested, in many many cases LA's flout the law with impunity as there is no oversight for them.If I was in government that's where I would spend my money, on making sure accountability to the law was happening.

After 8 years of fighting, I would say my view of how both 2 schools and the LA have behaved over many years amounts to institutional abuse. Their actions have at times almost broken us as a family.

That's why I am laughing hollowly at the thought of HE families with SEN children being 'supported'. It's a cruel irony.

Edited

This exactly. Fellow tribunal goer here.
Just to add that those kids who need most oversight are not those home educated but those that are left with no education (like ours for 3 years), not on roll anywhere, no help given (bc of tribunal ongoing) and not checked up on at all.
Truly ghosts.

ihavedonaldstrousers · 12/12/2024 22:23

Alltheyearround · 11/12/2024 19:32

Sara, Heidi, Victoria, Abiyah, Daniel, Dylan, Logan, Peter, Dennis, Maria, Khyra Jasmine, Carly, Tyra and all those children whose names we may never know.

You were failed, by your parents and by the people who should have protected you.

https://www.communitycare.co.uk/2007/01/10/what-have-we-learned-child-death-scandals-since-1944/

''Lord Laming said at the time of the Climbié inquiry (2003) that Victoria’s death would mark a “turning point in ensuring proper protection of children in this country”

'12 key occasions were identified where services could have successfully intervened to prevent Victoria coming to further harm. In each case the opportunity was missed.'

Sadly, lessons do not seem to have be learned. .

The lessons to be learnt are that more social workers are needed which means they will have lower caseloads which means that more staff will be retained so you have strong, experienced safeguarding teams. This simple strategy is never implemented and 'reforms' are all about saving money