For reporting child to safeguarding

[singlemum93]

I know safeguarding is everyone's responsibility and this weekend I met a child at an event. He was the nephew of a couple whom I know. They also have a child who is friends with my son.
Anyway I had never met their nephew before but he is the same age as my son and their son (4).
He couldn't talk and seemed to not understand how to socialise with others.
He stared at the food on his plate and only ate when being spoon fed like a baby.
His teeth were also almost completley black.
The wife of the couple I knew had her concerns and she said it makes her cry when they have child as he never wants to go home. He also had shoes on that were too big for him and visibly flopping off.
Speaking to his aunt and uncle they had their concerns (the wife more so) but felt they couldn't do anything about it. His mum apparently doesn't leave the house and the child doesn't attend nursery so only sees his aunt and uncle and his grandparents. The child just had such a frightened temperament it made me really sad and I couldn't stop thinking about him all weekend.
I reported anonymously to safeguarding in my area mainly as the child isn't in a childcare setting so potentially nobody has eyes on him. I only knew limited info so couldn't give exact information.
I later discussed this with my
Mum who said I shouldn't of done anything ! And made me feel terrible asif I have done something wrong?
I just wanted to know if anyone else would do the same in this situation or if I was being abit hasty with limited information I suppose.

Thanks everyone- I've always thought I would report if I came across something I was concerned about. I guess when it actually happens you doubt yourself.
I guess that's also what's happening with his family as I think it's hard to see from outside perspective.

maybe don’t talk to anyone else about it again

You did the right thing. There were signs of child neglect

The concern here should be with your mother, there are no other potential cases/situations she hasn't reported but should have are there?

I always remember a social worker friend (in children’s safeguarding) highlighting how important a single snippet of information can be in helping to build the bigger picture. Don’t ever doubt the importance of what might seem a tiny concern or problem. You might be one of ten people who have all shared small worries that, in total, expose an absolute shit-show of a family home and could help save a child from horrific abuse

You did the right thing OP, I hope that that child finds the peace and love that it deserves 💜

It sounds like your friend and her husband were concerned too but didn't like to report their nephew as it could have meant they were banned from any further contact with him.

You did the right thing. In the media social services involvement is often portrayed as them swopping in to a loving family and removing the child, based on one vague word. Now I'm not saying children are never removed needlessly, but much more often an intelligent person works with the family to ensure the child is being properly cared for.

Having in a previous job, had to compile the timelines from various agencies for Serious Case Reviews (SCR), can I just say how right @Sleepysleepycoffeecoffee is. Very often after completing one of these you would hear GPs, SWs or school staff say, "If I had known that I would have done X rather than Y..." Every snippet of information helps build the picture.

Yesterday, I was in a school talking to the Designated Safeguarding Lead (DSL) who had recently taken on the role and he said, it was two members of his pastoral care team who between them know every family in school who are his greatest asset.

OP, you did the right thing, thank you.

You did the right thing. Just don't tell anyone you've reported a child in future.
Do you know the outcome of this poor kid?

Well done, as you said, it sounds like he's rarely out or seen by or adults, you had concerns, you raised them.

Well done OP, your mum is wrong.

You did the right thing and I would do the same. I think it's very old school to say that it's not our business.

The poor child with the big shoes and the black teeth, it would break your heart.