My DS is 2.5 and has started wanting to choose his own clothes. I’m fine with this (as long as they’re affordable/practical), I said he could pick out his own jumper and he spotted one with Paw Patrol on that he decided he liked.
The only Paw Patrol sweatshirt that Zara had in stock in his size was lilac and in the girls’ section. He was very certain that was the one he wanted so we bought it.
MIL keeps making comments about him being dressed like a girl (she must have said something to him too because whenever he wears it he says that he’s a ‘girl today’).
I’ve asked her not to but she keeps on mentioning it and a couple of times she’s changed his jumper before taking him out (he has then had a massive tantrum because he wanted the Paw Patrol jumper).
She’s generally very nice and well meaning, she loves him and enjoys taking him out so I don’t want to upset things. She is quite sensitive to perceived criticism though and is very insistent on doing things ‘her way’.
Some of her views are a bit old fashioned though and I tend to bite my tongue to keep the peace.
Obviously at the moment it’s just a jumper and I can get him to wear a different one when he sees her (although she also hates his rainbow wellies too) but there have also been passing comments about other things (a unicorn colouring book, a gymnastics and dance class, playing with a doll). He’s only 2.5 so he’s not really bothered but I do worry that it’s starting to be something he notices more.
I’m not being deliberately antagonistic towards her btw. He has lots of stereotypical ‘boy’ toys, clothes and activities too. But I also don’t want to stop him doing/choosing things he likes just because they’re stereotypically more ‘feminine’.
Am I being unreasonable to ask her to stop the comments or should I just continue ignoring it?
Also, is there an effective and tactful way to get her to stop?
I could ask DH to have a word but he’s also asked her not to make the comments and she just brushes him off too (I’m pretty sure she thinks that it’s just my ‘woke’ influence!)