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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Future after divorce

6 replies

Namechsnger · 11/12/2024 14:02

My cousin has been married for 3 years and the couple never got along. She is in late 20s and heading for divorce. They don't have kids. She feels sad that life is long and whether she may be lonely for the rest of her life. Her family including myself feels concerned as well. She is independent but has no family around her as she works in United States. I have no idea what advice to give her.
Can anyone who has been through similar share their experience of finding a new partner after divorce in their early 30s?

OP posts:
Catza · 11/12/2024 14:10

Early 30s is no age to assume that you will be alone for the rest of your life. I can see why your cousin feels this way in the middle of a painful breakup but I don't really understand the concern of the rest of the family who should absolutely be aware that people find partners, lovers and husbands much later in life with no issues at all.
I met my partner at 38, we had a fabulous relationship for three years and, sadly, drifted apart eventually. Even in my 40s I absolutely don't believe that my love life is over. My mum met her current husband at 50. My aunt just got married at 53... the list of people I know who found love in their later years is endless. But late 20s? I wouldn't even give it a second thought.

Ponderingwindow · 11/12/2024 14:12

I had a similarly brief first marriage that thankfully resulted in no children. I have a cousin who did similar. Both of us moved on to much better matches and long, successful marriages. You learn from the mistakes you made and choose better the next time. Not having children from the first relationship makes things so much easier.

Soitis83 · 11/12/2024 14:15

I divorced at 26, met the love of my life at 28. We have 3 children and a beautiful home together in my mid 30s.
At the time me and exh split up, I was so depressed. Even contemplated suicide. Now I've never been happier and don't give him a second thought

Namechsnger · 11/12/2024 14:20

Thanks for the replies. Will share with her.

OP posts:
Namechsnger · 11/12/2024 15:40

Bump

OP posts:
Tired887 · 11/12/2024 15:59

I got a divorce at 29! We had been together since freshers week at uni. All was great until my career started taking off and I was more successful and much better paid than him. He started getting jealous and undermining me. He drained every positive moment. It turns out he had very mysoginistic ideas about family life which he had been hiding very well.

My mum said to get out immediately before having children as children tie you for life. She was right and I dropped him like a stone.

It was the best thing I ever did. I started dating again, met DH, literally travelled the world for a bit, and had my first baby at 34.

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