I know that the obvious answer to my title is “duh! Of course you’re not…! 🙄”
So why is it then, that I keep getting snapped at by family members (including my 9yr old child) when I genuinely cannot hear what they’re saying? I get it’s frustrating having to repeat yourself but that is usually only required if either there’s background noise or they’ve put me on speakerphone and walked too far away from the handset. I’d argue that would cause most people to struggle.
I’m on the waiting list for Audiology but it’s a 7 year wait in my area just to get your first appointment! Presumably there’s then another wait afterwards for an actual NHS hearing aid (and our local branch of Specsavers doesn’t take part in the direct GP referral thingy for the free hearing aid). Paying for one privately is out of the question also.
So I’m just struggling on and doing everything I can to maximise my chances of hearing. Such as removing any background noise that I possibly can and keeping my volume up etc.
Like I said, I realise it’s frustrating from their POV but in my defence, those around me have been reminded countless times that if there’s rattling plastic/a tap running/a phone ringing/a truck driving by etc etc that I will not be able to hear them. Yet the long, drawn out sighing, saying “FGS/FFS” under their breath/the snappy attitude & quite often the “Nevermind” complete with eye roll, continues.
Oh and before anyone tries to infer it, no this is not occurring every single conversation. Not at all. Only when there’s background noise or like I said above, my mum puts me on speaker phone and then walks across the kitchen without raising her voice in the slightest, meaning I cannot decipher a single word.
Am I unreasonable? I ‘called out’ my Mum on this earlier today (I hate that expression but ‘confronted’ sounds hostile & disrespectful in this context) and she flat denied that she gets snappy or frustrated when I can’t hear and turned the entire thing round onto me.
I’ve ended up practically begging her (politely) to not do the speakerphone whilst walking away thing anymore and to try a little bit harder to notice when there’s background noise and remember that I won’t be able to hear her; However that just summoned yet more snappy hostility from her. Ironically when I mentioned the speakerphone thing, she missed my point completely and reminded me that she needs to put it on speakerphone as her hearing is going….😳
“I am old you know. Or had you forgotten that?!”
🤦🏼♀️
FYI: I’ve had hearing issues since I was a child (presumably birth) but nothing was ever done about it in childhood. I got a referral from a GP to audiology when I turned 18 but the referral was cancelled as apparently I was “too young for hearing loss” and the GP was told to try “other avenues to determine the cause” but of course the GP ignored this. I tried again 3 years ago and like I said, I have up to another 4 years left to wait.
The snappy responses began earlier than I can even remember. My Mum has always done it and was even worse towards my Dad (whose hearing loss was worse than mine and deteriorated as the years went on). She said he & I “played on it” because we’d say “Pardon?” Then a few seconds later say “Yes, it’s in the other cupboard” for example. So she took it to mean that he/I could hear her all along. When I’ve told her over & over again that no! What’s happened, is we heard a muffled version of what was said and we’ve replayed it in our head to try match the word/few words.
eg: ‘zzzzerd????’ ‘Asssurd?’ ‘Asturd?’ Ohhhh “Mustard!” Gotcha. Yep, it’s in the other cupboard….”
I don’t think she believes me.
Edited to point out that obviously my 9yr old isn’t saying “FFS!” She just closes her eyes and sighs or answers with attitude! Otherwise, she is actually a great kid whose behaviour is brilliant 99% of the time. Genuinely.