Aibu to think the Middle Class have a much nicer Christmas from the run up to the event itself?

[Mincepiesorpigsinblankets]

Just from observing friends & family. The more mc ones seem to have a fabulous, jam packed festive period with lovely events scheduled & nice traditions. Aibu in my thinking?

I do agree. I grew up in a working class environment We had a horse (in the area we lived it wasn’t as posh as it sounds). So I mixed with some very wealthy people. Although cost is part of the point you’re making. I think there is a massive difference in recognition of both the interest in, and knowledge of what’s out there and indeed prioritisation of the arts, eating out etc. as I was older I was amazed that people actually went to the theatre, concerts etc. I thought these things were for nobility (and according to my school mates for snobs) that people would eat out before they did these things was mind blowing. I was amazed how many art galleries and museums there were (they weren’t generally free then). It just wasn’t seen as valuable or accessible. The shops we shopped in didn’t have nice Christmas things. We didn’t go to the places where nice things were advertised as we weren’t the target market (I wonder if algorithms still make the same distinction - perhaps you don’t get face book ads for the local theatre production if you haven’t checked in in the West End)

I think a lot of it was to do with the perception and experience of my parents. They knew walking in the local countryside was free so that’s what we did.

OP do you mean that people with more money can buy more stuff and do more things? Because yes, that's obviously the case. But I don't think class has anything to do with it.

I remember one year my working class very successful builder friend took his kids to Lapland. Meanwhile we (middle class) made a Santa's grotto in our under-stairs cupboard with tinsel etc, and invited the neighbours kids round. Didn't cost a penny.

We were both "making the most of Christmas".

Depends on your definition of a great Christmas.

I grew up working class and my Christmas was amazing - every year mum baked and baked, the house constantly smelled of her homemade mincemeat, Christmas cake, Christmas pudding. Everyone had a job - I made the Christmas pickle, dad peeled the chestnuts, we all did the decorations (mainly holly and fir branches from our garden).

We wrote our cards together, and collectively wrapped small gifts to go under the tree.

We hosted and visited neighbours and friends, went to church twice as often as normal.

Some years we made crackers, some years we helped put festive decorations at church, some years we went door to door collecting for the Salvation Army, some years we went to the local am-dram panto.

We watched movies and ate too much cheese and played board games. My dad would smoke one cigar on Boxing Day, my mum would drink sherry. My gran would sit and chop up the Xmas cards for next year’s gift tags, and smooth out the wrapping paper to reuse (NO ONE ripped into presents in our house - I truly thought everyone reused their Xmas wrapping paper every year and could never understand why the shops were full of it!)

We literally rejoiced, every year, for the entire month of December.

I don’t think my kids “get” Christmas - the undiluted joy of it. It doesn’t need a cash injection to be magical.

My mum was working class, she couldn't afford a car, we didn't live anywhere near a beach and couldn't afford to get to one. She had my little sister to put to bed so we never made it to a Christingle service except if the school took us as a special day time one. Not many people had lights within walking distance of where we lived because they couldn't afford them either. I went out with my sister once when we were teens and we were like Tiny Tim looking in the windows of everyone else enjoying their Christmas dinners in front of the trees, whereas we'd gone out to escape the atmosphere of our house.

My childhood Christmases were incredibly stressful. She was always worried about money just for the food aspect of a Christmas dinner let alone everything else. She would be crying on her own in the kitchen for months after because it had meant wracking up more debt and pretending we were having just as good a time as the other school parents who made her feel even worse (not on purpose) because they had expensive gifts and days out for their kids and they had a dad at the Christmas table, and she'd got into debt just trying to buy frozen roast potatoes and enough turkey for three.

Absolutely no time to make anything homemade because she had a part time job, was looking after my grandma, trying to study for something better in the long run, looking after us and running a house - had to do all that walking everywhere which of course limits things even more. We did crafts at school. No local theatre performances because there was no local theatre, but she wouldn't have been able to afford them anyway. It was us in the school play (which at least was free back then).

The only time I liked the Christmas holidays was when it snowed, because we could go out and have fun like everyone else (but only until our knitted gloves were soaked through because the heating wasn't on to dry them and we didn't have proper coats).

I think there's a good point been made about knowing what is out there and if you have friends who do those things, you're more likely to go along too.
There's so much that's free if you're tuned in to it - and with the internet and Facebook it's easier to find these things than ever but if it's still not on your radar then you won't find them or do them.

So for example my son had a friend that played in an orchestra and we'd go to support him. High quality and free in a gorgeous venue, gorgeous Christmas decorations, huge tree in the foyer etc. . We wouldn't have known about that or anything else the venue provided for free or very low cost if it wasn't for that friendship.

I think Christmas has become too commercialised. I really can't be bothered to be herded in to something, herded round them back out, plus the angst over having to get tickets in the spring or summer that sell out straight away.

@allthatfalafel I'm sorry your Christmases were like that and I expect many others were too but you can't really compare Christmases and the expectations from 20 years ago to now. I mentioned the beach because that's what e do s we live in walking distance obviously most people aren't trekking to a beach in the winter if they are hours away. Growing up we were poor too although not a single parent family but my core memory was singing carols at our local tube station with my school.

Most of the events OP is referring to and available to do now simply weren't back then and there was no social media for FOMO. That's not to say people didn't feel like they were missing out but it was less in your face.

What a silly comment. Many of the minds there were anything but vacuous given some of the topics and conversations taking place, most were professional women, doctors, lawyers, teachers etc, some retired like me, with interesting lives from what I could gather. The discussion about types of wreaths lasted but a few minutes.

Yes, very odd.

I don't think so and wonder what you are thinking of! How busy/enjoyable/festive Christmas is for a particular family or individual depends on a lot of personal and financial things.

Is it really a surprise that more money equals doing more fun stuff? Weird thread.

Hmmmm I don't know about that, definitely more options for things to do if you have more money but a lot of it is crap overpriced stuff anyway. I think time is far more important.

I see some of my friends who have one toddler and are stay at home parents or work very part time and they're out doing loads of lovely free Christmas things, events like Christmas toy swaps, going round to different shopping centers to see the free Santa's etc. I have 2 toddlers, the youngest is 12 months and in a really difficult phase at the moment, I'm constantly tired. We've gone to one or two pricey Christmas activities and it's been fine but I think I'd rather be strolling around the city at my leisure and soaking up the atmosphere, attending all the free/cheap community Christmas family events.

Lot of envy posts at the moment

I don't agree. If youre going to generalise about class, my experience suggests that working class families with money are far more likely to lavish it on their kids in terms of presents and special Christmas outings, whilst the middle classes are downpaying mortgages, or saving for something (pensions, holidays or university fees).

Was about to say the same!

So people with more time and money are able to do things they enjoy more than people who have less free time and money.
We see this at Christmas, holiday times, the houses people live in, the retirement lifestyle they are able to have.

A certain socio-economic status affords these things. It was always and will always be thus.

The best thing for me this year is that I've saved some annual leave and am able to take 2 full weeks off work.
Rest, family, games, exercise.....can't wait.

I grew up in a small Northern (formerly) mining town but have gone on to join a traditionally middle class profession, meaning that my children have had rather different childhood experiences to mine.
For the kids I grew up with Christmas treats were likely to be a trip to the local am dram pantomime, seeing Father Christmas at the Church fayre, or, if you were really posh, at the nearest department store. Christmas decorations were bought from the market and your tree was probably a smallish silver tinsel creation about a decade old, covered in mismatched baubles. My children's friends are more likely to have been taken to see the Nutcracker, a Christmas theatre show or at the very least a professional panto, seen Father Christmas in Lapland, bought their 7ft real tree whilst attending a wreath making session at an NT property and decorated it with beautifully matched items according to this year’s colour scheme.
Is either option intrinsically more "magical" though? I don't think so. I think the best childhood memories of Christmas are to do with spending time with family and friends. One of the most exciting times I can remember was the first time I was allowed to attend the "midnight" (I think I was 10pm actually!) Church service on Christmas Eve. I still love doing that in fact. And memories of Christmases that didn't go quite according to plan still make my siblings and I laugh til we cry.
I think if I asked my adult DCs about their best memories one that would definitely feature would be the night it snowed for the school carol service and we had to abandon the car and walk through falling snow to a candle lit Church full of their equally excited friends. They still talk about thar 15 years later - it was more magical than any of the Christmas "experiences" we paid for.
Of course money helps because it allows choice. I love going to buy a real tree and a tastefully decorated NT property with a choir singing appeals to me more than panto. But I don't think they are intrinsically "better", just different. One person's magic is another's boredom. Tasteful to some is tacky to others. Christmas can be a very happy or a completely miserable time regardless of your income or your class. Having a lot of presents or expensive trips can be wonderful of course but doesn't guarantee happiness.

YANBU. Money helps make everything a little easier. There are so many more "traditions" starting up in recent years too (elf on the shelf, Christmas eve boxes, Santa visits) that are simply too much if you have a lower income or a larger family.

However... we make lots of paperclips and other decorations and go for evening walks to see the Christmas lights, so there is plenty of Christmas cheer in the run up without the more commercial elements.

I think your reply is unnecessarily condescending. It's very obvious you're a southerner with no clue.

There was plenty of FOMO and it was in your face just the same because you'd go to school and people would be talking about the same event or party they'd all been to that you didn't go to. One time the teacher even had the class write about an event that "everyone" attended - I couldn't write anything because I hadn't been and tried to ask other people what to put and got told off.

It is no different now other than things are more expensive and there are more of them. Kids always talked about what they did and where they went, and the parents always bragged.

I’m not sure about class but money certainly helps me have the pre Christmas I really enjoy.

I’ve just returned from a Christmas market mini break in Europe and have back to back parties, concerts,theatre trips, meals out etc to look forward to and lots of festive outfits to wear.

I love my Xmas movie, candles and Baileys evenings inbetween too.

I finished my Xmas present shopping before my trip and will do a big M&S food collection on Monday 23rd.

I think you might be mistaking it with people who portray themselves as middle class.

Please do not go out and strip public or communal spaces of greenery for your own use. Its not usually legal. The usual argument is "oh I am only one person and I don't take much" but if its ok for you then its okay for everyone and then the lovely green space is trashed and the berries that would feed wildlife are gone. By all means go for lovely walks and enjoy it but LEAVE IT THERE.

I feel like those views are strongly based on stuff off Instagram.
We have more than enough money and we are not doing any of this stuff because.... it's a waste of money 😂😂 !! £120 for a wreath?!?!
For that price, it better recite poetry and serve champagne. Honestly, grab a plain one from the garden centre, slap on some decorations with your kids, and boom—same festive vibe without the absurd price tag or the obligatory “festive lunch” that costs more than your weekly shop. And don’t even get me started on London at Christmas.

Shows, ballets, and all the “magic”? Sure, if by “magic,” you mean fighting through crowds and paying £5 for a lukewarm cup of mulled wine. I work in London, and the idea of voluntarily going there on a weekend in December? Hard pass.

You mean people with money and time rather than middle class surely. Plus I thought money and class were separate things? Some of the wealthier people I know are tradesmen with not much education beyond GCSEs.
But experience fosters actions and if one grew up experiencing trips to Santa's grotto, pantomimes and skating trips then you are likely to repeat that with your own children.
But my most happy memories of Christmas don't include any of that - it was just getting the tree, making ornaments, wrapping presents (I still remember and am forever looking on eBay for my favourite 70s papers), family (and I'm as middle class as you can get). Actually one really fond memory was the animatronic Christmas village at our local department store - which was free.

I can't imagine anyone is stripping anything but it is worth bearing in mind the law of course.

Here are the woodland trust guidelines.

www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/visiting-woods/things-to-do/foraging/foraging-guidelines/