To feel like if I go to sleep I won’t wake up

Anxiouspatient · 2024-12-11T01:25:04+00:00

I have been really ill recently. It came as a big shock, I have always been healthy and recently I’ve had to to undergo three surgeries in a short space of time. Medically I’ve been assessed as doing ok enough to go home from hospital which is good but mentally I think I have PTSD and I’m scared to even go to sleep. I can’t comprehend what has happened to me and how I can start to recover both physically and mentally, I feel like a complete different person to before, like I have lost everything about myself. I have not had a decent nights sleep since my first surgery which was a couple of weeks ago. I also have 2 young kids who need me. Any advice on how I can calm myself down?

QuestionableMouse · 11/12/2024 01:28

It's awful isn't it? I'm awake because I'm worried about my health too and it sucks.

What helps me is an audio book on (I'm listening to the Murderbot Diaries for the nth time) and telling myself I'm just going to relax as much as I can and listen to the book.

Original poster

Anxiouspatient · 11/12/2024 01:31

QuestionableMouse · 11/12/2024 01:28

It's awful isn't it? I'm awake because I'm worried about my health too and it sucks.

What helps me is an audio book on (I'm listening to the Murderbot Diaries for the nth time) and telling myself I'm just going to relax as much as I can and listen to the book.

Sorry you are experiencing this.
I always used to go to sleep with an audiobook on. I haven’t been able to concentrate on one for a while. Maybe I’ll give it a a try.

OP posts:

smellsfishy · 11/12/2024 01:42

Distraction.. put some earbuds in and listen to a book? I'm ploughing through autobiographies atm. Of actors and comedians. I find listening to someone else's life story distracts me from thinking about my own and I find someone talking to be quite soporific.

Sorry you've been through such a rough time - it's very early days in your recovery - you may start to feel more like yourself with a bit more time and sleep. You deserve to just take the time to rest. Don't give up hope.

Original poster

Anxiouspatient · 11/12/2024 03:09

smellsfishy · 11/12/2024 01:42

Distraction.. put some earbuds in and listen to a book? I'm ploughing through autobiographies atm. Of actors and comedians. I find listening to someone else's life story distracts me from thinking about my own and I find someone talking to be quite soporific.

Sorry you've been through such a rough time - it's very early days in your recovery - you may start to feel more like yourself with a bit more time and sleep. You deserve to just take the time to rest. Don't give up hope.

Thank you. I haven’t tried autobiographies. It’s definitely worth a try

OP posts:

LoveSeptember · 11/12/2024 03:15

It sounds like you have a lot to process op be patient with yourself. If you search sleep stories on you tube there are lots of stories with sophorific voices and music.

Original poster

Anxiouspatient · 11/12/2024 03:18

LoveSeptember · 11/12/2024 03:15

It sounds like you have a lot to process op be patient with yourself. If you search sleep stories on you tube there are lots of stories with sophorific voices and music.

Thank you, that’s a good tip.

OP posts:

fivebyfivebuffy · 11/12/2024 03:19

Sleep & sorcery podcast or snooze with Sam are both good

Onlycoffee · 11/12/2024 03:21

I'm sorry you've been through so much. It sounds like your nervous system is disregulated and you're stuck in a state of hyperarousal.
You also have a lot to process. It will take time but you will come through it.
For the immediate issue of sleep I would try deep breathing exercises, meditation music or relaxing sounds to help you fall asleep.

I recommend the YouTube channel Therapy in a Nutshell as she has lots of videos on calming the nervous system and PTSD.

Original poster

Anxiouspatient · 11/12/2024 03:27

Onlycoffee · 11/12/2024 03:21

I'm sorry you've been through so much. It sounds like your nervous system is disregulated and you're stuck in a state of hyperarousal.
You also have a lot to process. It will take time but you will come through it.
For the immediate issue of sleep I would try deep breathing exercises, meditation music or relaxing sounds to help you fall asleep.

I recommend the YouTube channel Therapy in a Nutshell as she has lots of videos on calming the nervous system and PTSD.

Thank you so much, this sounds like exactly what I’m experiencing. Like my body has gone into fight or flight mode constantly.

OP posts:

marmia1234 · 11/12/2024 03:40

I've had that . It's terrifying. Just as you're about to drift off you jerk yourself awake so that you don't sleep as you are scared you won't wake up. Is that what you mean?
Only thing that worked for me was a very mild sleeping tablet ( so mild practically a placebo and having my partner have his arm around me until I was asleep).
Sorry if you don't have a partner that is no help.
Brandy? ( only half joking)

Nat6999 · 11/12/2024 03:40

I was like this last winter after having a bout of pneumonia, which lasted 12 weeks until I was completely better. I struggled to get from the bathroom to my bedroom, which was about 12 steps, I felt like I was going to faint & was terrified to go to sleep in case I never woke again. It does pass, it has taken me a year of panicking every time I sneezed or blew my nose, my lungs are only just recovering now, they have had times of being creaky most of the year, this time last year it took me an hour to get dressed if I got dressed at all & I lost 2 stone in 2 months, this was a positive, I have lost 5 stone in total now so have done something to improve my health, I eat better now, don't snack or eat junk food & have cut 95% of sugar out of my diet.

Original poster

Anxiouspatient · 11/12/2024 03:45

marmia1234 · 11/12/2024 03:40

I've had that . It's terrifying. Just as you're about to drift off you jerk yourself awake so that you don't sleep as you are scared you won't wake up. Is that what you mean?
Only thing that worked for me was a very mild sleeping tablet ( so mild practically a placebo and having my partner have his arm around me until I was asleep).
Sorry if you don't have a partner that is no help.
Brandy? ( only half joking)

Yes that’s exactly how it is, I suddenly become wide awake in panic the moment I start to drift off. I made the mistake of going to bed earlier as I somehow felt a bit calmer but then of course now I can’t go to sleep when I need to. I did wonder about a sleeping tablet, I’ve never used anything like that before but it may be necessary. I have got DH here which helps but I can’t disturb him as he’s going to have to do most of the childcare for now.

OP posts:

Original poster

Anxiouspatient · 11/12/2024 03:46

Nat6999 · 11/12/2024 03:40

I was like this last winter after having a bout of pneumonia, which lasted 12 weeks until I was completely better. I struggled to get from the bathroom to my bedroom, which was about 12 steps, I felt like I was going to faint & was terrified to go to sleep in case I never woke again. It does pass, it has taken me a year of panicking every time I sneezed or blew my nose, my lungs are only just recovering now, they have had times of being creaky most of the year, this time last year it took me an hour to get dressed if I got dressed at all & I lost 2 stone in 2 months, this was a positive, I have lost 5 stone in total now so have done something to improve my health, I eat better now, don't snack or eat junk food & have cut 95% of sugar out of my diet.

Sorry you’ve been through all of that. Good to hear that it did eventually pass and that you made all those positive changes.

OP posts: