More WWYD - Cleaner has damaged property

[PatsyDarrling]

First time poster, long time listener... Sorry this might be a little long.

Been with our cleaner for 6 years. She's excellent, really personable, good price. Couple of hiccups along the way but always sorted them out.

For context we suspect (but can't prove) that within the first few months of starting she chipped a (new) ceramic sink in our kitchen (it had just been redone).

Since she has come back after maternity leave 3 years ago we have had to mention a few times her time keeping (turns up at 10 past but leaves before the hour time). Sometimes it can amount to as much as 30 mins less. However, house has always still been clean so not been as a bit consideration compared to if cleaning was being skipped. I rely on her cleaning weekly due to the hours I work in my role and the pressures we have as a family with one child with additional needs.

My husband is a total introvert and hates a weekly clean (he keeps saying move to fortnightly). My worry in a house of dh, 2 ds and I, is that they "tidy" and I "clean". Fortnightly not an option (he thinks bleach only needs down a loo once a week 🙄). I say that more to give context on why I'm not relying on his view alone thank looking for LTB advice (he's wonderful other ways, just doesn't notice the 'full" house clean).

Current issue... I have literally just discovered a beloved Christmas decoration has been irreparably damaged. Heavy duty statue that a significant proportion has broken off. It could have only happened by being dropped from a height. Accidents happen, but I'm more annoyed that our cleane has not said anything. 99% sure it's happened when cleaner was in (double checking before texting tomorrow).

More a WWYD?? I think because of continuing relationship through COVID, she had a pregnancy loss, maternity leave and then raising small kids, I feel a bit torn as we have had a close relationship. Husband wants to terminate contract if it's her and she's not said. I just felt sad about my family statue.

AIBU if I terminate her contract?

i'd move on from the sink thing tbh. it's a sink. it's a workspace. it will be fairly heavily used. if its not her chipping it, it will be someone else.

the statue is a bigger issue though. i would ask her politely and as neutrally as possible if she knows what happened to it. give her a chance to confess? anyway, you have children, so maybe it could have been them that did it too?

She had to be pulled up on not working 30 mins out of an hour. She sounds like a piss taker. 2 suspected breakages which she hasn’t said anything about. I’d sack her and I’d do the cleaning between you and h. The house does not need to be spotless. The bog doesn’t need bleaching all the time. It doesn’t matter if there’s a bit of dust.

I think you can ask her about it but I would do it face to face if possible. Could it have been one of the children though? If she denies it, there's not much you can do about it as you can't prove it was her.

Accidents happen and this is once in six years (or twice if we count the sink). I don't think that's indicative of being careless or particularly accident prone.

If she's aware that she broke it she should have told you though. I'd have a chat with her and see what she says.

I wouldn't worry about the leaving early as long as all the work was done. There are many jobs where you can work harder/smarter and get out a bit early. If you've paid her to clean xyz and she's cleaned xyz then you've had your money's worth. Good for her if she can get back to her child ten minutes early. If it wasn't clean then I'd let her go.

And good on her for turning up late?

Sorry your thing was broken. You sound very upset.
I think accidents happen. The unreasonable part is if she didn't tell you. If she is deliberately lying. But. She may have forgotten or is worried sick at the thought of telling you.
Its tricky being a cleaner. You are touching and moving every single thing in the house constantly. (Something you don't have to do now). At some point with all that touching and the 6 years she's been with you, something will get broken. Law of averages says that. It is going to happen.
Now I also think. Why are you trusting her with something so precious. Just tell her not to clean it or move it when she comes. I know you weren't to know. But accidents happen and I personally wouldn't have risked it with something so utterly precious.
The being a few minutes late a few times 3 years ago is a bit petty I think. Your house isn't going anywhere. What does it matter. It was also a long time ago too. Not relevant now.

Where does it say she is paid to work and hour?

How do you know cor definite it was her? There are others in the house, it could have been one of the kids and you only just noticed. You do seem to hold a grudge though if the sink is anything to go by

if she has done the work you asked then fine she can go early, or you give her more jobs to do

You don’t say she does a bad job so you must find her acceptable

if your husband doesn’t want a cleaner weekly then you give him jobs to do for the cleaning, bet he soon changes his mind

My mum has had her ceramic sink for 13 year, it has never been chipped.

OP says ‘turns up at 10 past but leaves before the hour time). Sometimes it can amount to as much as 30 mins less.’

Could be the kids tbh. Me and my broke broke a special vase thing once just by messing about. We.turned it around so you couldn't see the crack, was weeks before anyone noticed including my mum who dusted every week. You'd be surprised what you don't notice when just focusing on the surface. You can ask her but I wouldn't throw away a good cleaner and you can address the timekeeping issue.

I would gently ask her face to face if she knew how the beloved decoration got broken. Hopefully she will tell the truth if it was her. If she is lying you will probably be able to tell and then I think you will need to consider her situation with you.
my cleaner broke an ornament and was almost in tears when I got back as she was so upset. It was easy to fix and not a problem but this is not the case with yours.
i do feel for you as family Christmas decorations are handed down and give us memories of our own childhoods, but those memories are in your heart and the ornament is only a reminder of them.
sending you warm wishes and have a wonderful Christmas with all your memories and making new ones with your family.

It could have been the kids, depending on their ages. She could have dropped it, picked it up and not noticed the damage. It seems unlikely she would notice it damaged and not say anything.

My mum had a special vase that meant a lot, and as kids my brother slammed the living room door so hard the vase fell off the wall unit and shattered into many pieces. He was in big trouble, but my dad patiently glued it all back together. 40yrs later it still sits on top of a wall unit and unless you look carefully, you won’t notice the cracks! It added character and history, and when my mum is no longer with us, one of us will have to take it and keep it going after half a century plus of ownership.

But yeah, accidents happen, and 2 things in 6yrs is not major. if DH wants to sack her, then i’d be writing him a list of everything he needs to do each week. That way he doesn’t need to see it needs doing, but will just do it as it’s on his weekly list. Or he sticks with the cleaner.

I think she sounds like a good cleaner. Stuff will get broken. If she turns up on the day and does what she is meant to, you are doing well. But if your intuition is telling you that you don’t want her in your house, then it’s fine to end the contract.

If you know that you will end up doing all the cleaning don’t let your DH change it to fortnightly. It’s very easy to say you don’t want someone in the house, and to save money when you won’t be the one cleaning.

Crikey - remind me again to never become a cleaner!

How do you know it was her and not one of the children?

Do people with those ceramic sinks actually use them…. I thought they were for show- otherwise of course they’ll get chipped to buggery. It’s why I won’t have one.

Regarding the statue it could’ve been anyone, that’s the problem with ornaments- it’s what display cabinets are for. You can ask her, you can sack her and get another cleaner, but if anything is super valuable then I’d hide it away in future behind a lockable display unit with instruction not to touch it.

Hope you can fix it somehow.

Good on her for cleaning the OP's house to a high standard. I couldn't get worked up about what time she arrives tbh. Each to their own though.

You sound like an absolute pain to be honest. Bleaching toilets frequency? Seriously?
I would guess your cleaner is afraid of you and hence did not mention the breakage.
Or perhaps one of your family did it and are afraid to tell you?
Its only a thing, I don't see why it's such a big thing.

As someone who runs a cleaning company and has insurance for these things....I think you sound a bit of a pain. You, like soooo many people, blame the cleaner for any damage around the house. Sorry but you have little kids...guess what kids break things, they can climb. You say the damage would only happen if dropped from high, how do you know? If it's an Xmas decoration was it packed away safe, could it have been cracked in the moving around the house. Could the kids have thrown a ball and broken it (I was a bugger for doing that)
You clearly don't trust her, yet know you need a cleaner...so you've had her for 6 years and what? Auditions for the next one that your husband can cope with (btw what impact does it have on him having a cleaner? If he's WFH he will be in a room alone, if he doesn't work why have a cleaner...he should do it)

Honestly, life happens. Accidents happen. You are expecting too much of your cleaner if you can't accept a couple of glitches in six years. Yes, she might have caused these breaks, but if not her, someone else might have. A guest at a party, you dropping something heavy on the sink, your kids knocking over the ornament. What would you have done about that? Wear and tear is a fact of life.

You sound like a pita. Cleaners are paid by job, not by the hour. The quote is based on an estimate of how many hours it takes to do the job. If a cleaner finishes a bit early, so what? Only if it’s a lot early, then you renegotiate the price of the job. And why do they need to show up exactly on the dot? You know it’s a time slot of I will clean your house between this and that time. They have other places to clean, they get stuck in traffic or a bus is delayed. Mentioned her time keeping to her! Have some respect for her as a person.

The sink and statue, you have no idea how this happened. You have two young boys in the house and a DH who is trying to pressure you into doing cleaning and sacking the cleaner, but you think #1 suspect is the cleaner.

You need to relax and be happy you have a good cleaner that takes care of your house.

Wow. So many people jumping straight to the cleaner having broken it. Feel sorry for her. Presumably you have asked your own family first?

Two things broken in six years?
If you do get a new cleaner you're in for a shock. And you'll soon be hoping she'll have you back (which she likely won't).

"Cleaners are paid by the job"? Surely that depends on your arrangement with them. When we could afford one it was two hours and she would work for two hours, filling in any time with different smaller jobs each week. My parents are the same.